Saturday, June 20, 2009

Nobody's Perfect!

It’s time to own up to one of my flaws: Maybe because she had seven children, my mother didn’t have time to baby any of us if we were just slightly under the weather, so we learned to “suck it up.” It is said that we learn what we live: I am not a good nurse. I truly believe my sons benefited from this short-coming. I never fussed over them and coddled them a lot when they were sick. If they were too sick to go to school, they spent the day in bed; no television; toast and/or soup for sustenance. Having learned early there were no special benefits to being sick, they seldom were. To this day, neither of them takes a sick day from work unless they are TRULY incapacitated
My husband, on the otheer hand, was the younger of two children. Lots of fussing and coddling time there! The “suck it up” gene is absent from his DNA; a sniffle could disable him at any time. And by some quirk of fate or bad karma, he married me . . . Nurse Rachid (the unsympathetic caregiver in the film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”) Not to say that I’m sadistic in any way, but I’m just not a clucking mother hen—“there, there, dear, what can I get for you?”—which I recognize is terrible, because my husband is much more solicitous. (I’m sure he learned what he lived!)

Last winter when he took a fall and broke his shoulder, I tried to be a better person. The right shoulder was the broken one, so the basic things we take for granted became a challenge for him: dressing and undressing, shaving, showering, etc. My assistance was required for him to be able to complete these tasks, and I tried to be patient and helpful. That we got through it all with our relationship intact, is no small miracle! As I said, I am seriously flawed.


Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Funny! I was told to suck it up too. I tried to instill that in my children, but hello! FAIL! I used to tell them go to their rooms until they could come out with a smile on their face. It came back to bite me during my divorce. I would whine and b*tch and they would tell me to go to my room until I could come out with a smile on my face. They were 18 and 22 at the time.

Anonymous said...


Jen said...

I always had the dream of entertaining people, go to Hollywood or Broadway.I am sure Dad would have said "Go ahead, the walk might do you good!!" In other words..... I had to suck-it-up then too.

chicamom85 said...

We all have our flaws thats for sure. My Mom didn't coddle me and I always did coddle my daughter so who knows.


cgw @ accidentally, kle said...

Hi - thanks for your comments on my blog. I've wandered over here to have a look at your blog :)

Loved this post - I think you're very right and it was good to teach your children that at an early age. Lucky them!

Having said that, my mother wasn't very much the 'oh you poor thing' type when we were sick. She was always inundated with housework (I'm the eldest of 5 kids - & about 4 cats lol) and her reasoning was that if we were home sick, then we could help her out with the housework - lol. I don't think it had quite the same effect your method had on your kids, alas!