Sunday, July 26, 2009

Love Letters from a Chocoholic

Letter #1

Dear Lindt Chocolate,

I think my husband is becoming suspicious of our affair.

How does the clueless one finally have one? It could be the bag of truffles hidden in my undies drawer, or maybe he discovered the truffles in the Green Giant Brussel Sprouts bag in the freezer--or maybe he's just noticed that my jeans are hugging my ass a hell of a lot more tightly lately!

Whatever it is, I think he's on to us. We must be more discreet in our liaisons .
. . meet you on the back porch at midnight?

I adore you and I don't know if I could ever live without you!

Longing for you,

Evil Eva

Letter #2

Dear Lindt Chocolate,

I was afraid of this. My husband saw us last night. . .. on the back porch. He hid behind the window curtain and waited for me to come in. There was an ugly confrontation. I tried to deny it, but he smelled you on my breath! I was forced to confess.

I don't know how to tell you this, Lindt, my love, but the only way we can continue is if we include him. I know, I know, the thought of a threesome repulsed me at first, too. But the thought of giving you up completely is unbearable to me!

After agonizing through a sleepless night, tossing and turning, I've decided I can do this. I may have to close my eyes while he has his way with you, but anything is better then never holding you again--never again reveling in your sweetness!

I hope you understand and are with me in this.

Loving you without shame,

Evil Eva


The Half Assed Housewife said...

The brussel sprouts bag??? Too funny!

KrisGC said...

I totally understand! My secret love is Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. My husband is on to us too!

Entrepreneur Chick said...

Too creative for your own good! Loved it.

Manic Mother said...

Lol completely get it! I am a sugar/chocolate addict! Thanks for stopping in.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I completely identify with this!! Only I love Cadbury chocolates!

According to Mags... said...

HAHAHA! I have my Mini Eggs hidden behind the Cheez Its. :P

Kelley said...

Ha! This made me laugh! I didn't realize you were kind of a like a swinger.

(Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!)