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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

"Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News...."


I had a medical check up today, or I guess a follow up or a "something's up." As it was not a physical exam, or an appointment because I am physically ill--I stress the physically ill part, because the jury isn't in yet on the mental part.--I didn't have to get naked. I'm sure this was a great disappointment to my doctor, because as you know, an overweight, out of shape, almost 65 year-old body naked in the examining room brightens up everyone's day.

The other good thing about a follow up versus an annual physical exam is there are no stirrups involved. I am always glad of that because I am philosophically opposed to putting my feet in stirrups unless there is a horse between my thighs, and since I'm not a cowgirl, I just balk at the thought.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure there was a reason for today's appointment, other than to create an income stream for my physician so she can pay off her medical school loans. I guess I'll just regard it as my contribution to Obama's stimulus plan.

Who knew? It seems retirement is fattening. My weight was up 5 pounds since my last visit in the early spring. It must be retirement; there can't be any connection between number of Hersey kisses consumed, vodka gimlets imbibed, or pepperoni pizzas ingested since that day in April when I was officially released from work. . .I may have to reassess the situation--which could result in more time spent in the Chamber of Horrors!

14 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

I love vodka gimlets:) I always have to pay someone to see me naked..LOL once again you have made me smile..

Lorie said...

I don't think it is retirement...because I am not retired and I gain 5 lbs just THINKING about getting on the scale at the Drs office! ;D

McVal said...

I gained 5 pounds suddenly this week, then noticed my scale pointer thing got shifted over... Whew!
But I need to be several pounds lighter before I go back to see my doctor. I haven't done yearly exam for a few years now... She made me feel fat.

Vodka Logic said...

Good post... a nice chuckle this morning.
xx

allycupe said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I think going to the doctor is something you we all enjoy as we get older isn't it? Last time I moved quickly and just about knocked mine out with a swinging boob. Have a great day!

Entrepreneur Chick said...

Just adore reading your posts. "I'm sure this was a great disappointment to my doctor, because as you know, an overweight, out of shape, almost 65 year-old body naked in the examining room brightens up everyone's day." LUV IT.
Eva, I got a book deal! Reading you has helped me express myself better. Thank you.

Red said...

Mmmmm pepperoni...

mama-face said...

I'm already planning my diet before my October Dr. App't. I plan on fasting the week before. But for now...anything goes.

Thanks for stopping by. It's always so great to 'meet' someone new! :)

One Sassy Girl said...

Sound logic in my eyes!! Retirement sounds pretty sweet when I look at your diet. Where do I sign up?

Jennifer said...

Chamber of horrors-- lmbo! =)

Jen said...

Nicely done, again!Hmmmm....I gained more than 5 lbs, without the Kisses or Gimblets

frigginloon said...

Do you think doctors talk about their patients after hours, over martinis, with their friends? I am pretty sure I've been the butt of several jokes during dinner time conversations. Have you noticed the one person you never bump into is your doctor (it's a mutual avoidance thingy I think!)

Jayne @ Misplaced City Girl said...

I haven't gone for the "woman" visit in over 4 years. I have a horrible horrible anxiety attack if I even make the appointment.

MiMi said...

Okay, I'm hopping around your blog reading your posts, and I am having a flash forward: You are ME in about 30 years. Or: I am YOU 30 years ago. Must be why I love you already! :)