Road Trip in the Making

Did I mention we were going on a road trip? Actually, I’m pretty sure I did, but it was quite a while back and may have been before some of you had met me.

We have always wanted drive across the country and see the sights we’ve yet to see. We’ve talked about the possibility many times, but when we were working, it wasn’t feasible time-wise—trying to see the USA in your Chevrolet in a two week vacation, just didn’t cut it. Well, now that we are both retired, we’ve decided to make our dream a reality.

As you know, we live in Maine, and while we have been to several places up and down the east coast, including Atlantic City, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Alabama, and Florida, the area west of the Mississippi with the exception of Arizona, is unchartered territory for us.

My stepson and his wife and 10-month old daughter live in Seattle, so all the more reason to see that side of the country. We will drive across to Seattle, north to Vancouver, then south to Los Angeles, and then head east via Las Vegas, and homeward from there. We plan to be on the road three to four weeks. I’m excited and looking forward to this trek. We plan to leave around the 18th of September.

My idea of this trip would be to pack, set the GPS and hit the highway, since we have no schedule of “promises to keep, and miles to go before we sleep.” My husband looks at it all VERY differently. He is a list-maker and a planner. Ever since I said “Yes” to the adventure last June, he has been planning, and plotting, and planning some more. My living room rug is knee-deep with road maps, tour books, and trip-tics. (I’m not sure if that is spelled correctly, but you know, those little maps that AAA makes up for you with the pages that flip!) He has Triple A on speed dial, and the clerks there know him by his first name; I think they even recognize his voice on the phone by now!

He’s in his element; making lists of what we want to see, what we need to bring, and how many days from one planned stop to the next. He has purchased two books, which he has been reading carefully. The first is ROAD TRIP USA by Jamie Jensen. This one is two inches thick and has oodles of information about places to see and things to do in just about every state in the union. (I’m getting concerned that we won’t be back in time for Thanksgiving! We can’t afford THAT many motel stays!) The only problem with this book he tells me is that it starts on the west coast and proceeds eastward—which means he has to read it backwards!

The second book he purchased is Guy Fieri’s DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES.. You know Guy—he’s the dude on the Food Network with the spiked white hair, chin fuzz, and sunglasses who travels around the country checking out the Mom and Pop restaurants. So Joe (that’s the list-maker/planner’s name) is of course making a list of the diners, drive-ins, and dives that are on our route.

Now the upside of that is that most of these eating places are reasonably priced so they shouldn’t blow our budget; the downside is that most of them sound like what we used to call “greasy spoons”—delicious fare which is bound to put on the pounds. Now picture this: we’ll be spending hours each day sitting on our butts in the car, and stopping to eat at hamburger havens, chili cafes, and kielbasa kitchens! By the time we get home, it will take the Jaws of Life to get us out of my Malibu Maxx!

I know, I know, we could make healthy choices, but I suspect at most of these places, the healthy choice will be to skip the bacon on the bacon cheeseburger with the fried onions, and forego the ice cream on the home-made pecan pie ala mode. I’ve never been a big fan of rabbit food, so I tend to be easily taken in by the pepperoni pizza purveyors, and the cheese fry chefs!

On the bright side, when we do return, Heather the goddess of torture with her pain paraphernalia will be gleefully waiting for us at the Chamber of Horrors!