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Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Feel a Thong Coming On. .

No, I'm not singing with a lisp--  Will someone please tell me what the deal is with thongs? I can understand the male fascination with them; they bare the buns to the breeze for ogling with ease. But I just can't understand why any woman would want to don these flimsy fanny-flaunting tools of tush-torture.


Obviously they are great sellers, or Victoria's Secret wouldn't have an abundance of the ass-floss anomalies on display. I can understand the retailers' point of view (pun intended). They are raking in mucho moola for mimimal outlay. Think about it. I'll bet they don't require more than four or five square inches of fabric--and that's on a size large!


And once the young 'uns who are wearing them now get up there in years, how in heck are they going to fit these contraptions over their Depends?


56 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I tried to sign the guestbook, but it kicked me out!

Gloria said...

Signed the guest book . . great idea!!

Eva, I too loather thongs. Can't understand why anyone would want to wear one. I shudder when I think of the debris they must sometimes contain . . ughhhhhh! I have several pairs though given as presents by lovely hubby Colin but to-date I've not even tried them on. My response to him was, 'you wear them then!'. He hasn't taken me up on that offer yet!

Happy Saturday to you Eva:-)

singedwingangel said...

Some day when I get up the gumption I will have to tell you how I taught my hubby that thongs and g string were not meant for extended wear.. period.. and how I truly never had to tell him anything it was his own silliness and ohhh did he pay lol...

Mesina said...

Thongs by thy enemy....

Gawd Eva I so agree, I have no idea who or what would want to wear a thong. In fact, I stand here practically telling women that they are liars for saying that they are ''actually really comfy! I love thongs!'' uh excuse me, do you have an ass? Because if you DID you wouldn't say such awful lies.
I, personally, am a french knicker fan. If I am gonna put on my ''come get me'' undies, those babies are gonna speak french and oooh la la my backside to make those cheeks look their best. Because unless you have a rock hard butt, you don't look sexy in a thong anyway. Also, men in thongs, should be illegal *shiver*

Mesina said...

Well signed your guestbook! Except.... it shows me living near Manchester when in fact I am an hour south of London! haha...I put only my county so there must be a Kent England up north! Bummer!

My name is PJ. said...

Beyond a certain point, different for everyone, thongs go the way of stilettos and give way to comfort and practicality...which can still be pretty.

Vodka Logic said...

Had to comment on your video below. The 10 funniest commercials.. great stuff. The best being the two Bud Light commercials

Kim @ Cheap Chic Home said...

Hi, I'm stopping by from SITS! Yes, I agree thongs are crazy contraptions (have you seen the sanitary products made for them??). However, once in awhile to make the hubs happy, why not?

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Thongs had a place in my life when I was young, I'll admit. But once you factor in multiple pregnancies, weight gain and hemorrhoids . . . thong use is no more! Why have a pain in your ass when you can be one? :) Ha! Just stopping by from SITS!

Cougar Tales said...

I gave them up for more comfortable and cute cotton and lace panties from VS. They are thin and feel like I am wearing nothing. I think they are more flattering too.

Em said...

I love the ladies who say they wear them so they don't have panty lines, yet when they bend over, hello thong top!?

Boy shorts - the only way to go pantylineless with comfort. LOVE them. And so does my hubs ;-)

Hitting the guest book...

Rbarakat said...

TOO funny! I hate those things - I mean really whats the point?

Cathy said...

No thongs for me! I try to keep my underwear OUT of my ass!

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I never understood the whole big issue with showing panty lines. I say so what? So I'm wearing panties? I don't see why that's such a faux pas.

jules said...

After a thongs been on for a few minutes you truly can not feel it at all. And once you get used to them, you don't feel them at all. There's no better way to ruin a fashionable outfit than having your butt cheeks cut in half because you've got on regular undies. That being said. No, my bare butt does not look good in them. You can guarantee if I'm wearing something seductive for my honey, my hiney's covered!

knit1kids4 said...

I'm with you... I don't understand thongs.

Pixielation said...

I wear thongs all summer long - of course, that's what we Australians call flip flops!

I can't stand the feel of a g-string though.

Maya said...

I am daring to disagree. For those of us with, ahem, odd shaped behinds, all underwear end up your your crack eventually. Even boy shorts. The less material you start with the less that you end up having to dig out of your crack. So for me it is not sex appeal (I assure you it is not attractive) but for comfort and to avoid underwear picking every 5 minutes. Not the frillies just basic cotton hanes usually a size too big. Its either that or thermals and god forbid they should slide up there.

I Wonder Wye said...

Agreed. Thongs are for MEN to admire and then, hopefully, whip off!~! I tell Excy do you want me to be comfortable and feel sexy and mellow, or trussed up, "sexy" (!) and bitchy?? Dental floss for the butt, who needs it??

Maven said...

Ha! You crack me up woman (no pun intended)

tori said...

love the new guest book widget! I go back and forth on the thong issue. I have a couple pair that I will wear when I need to do laundry and have nothing else. they aren't that bad and the hubs likes them but after a couple days I break down and do the wash so I can have my compfy ones back.

Jen said...

Well, I know why most you gals like to wear thongs......'cause they have tight buns and don't have to think about panty lines......Those were the days, Eva.

Laura said...

I don't understand thongs either. My daughter loves them. Seems like a permanent wedgie if you ask me.

Cinnamon-Girl Reeni♥ said...

I hate them too! Their so uncomfortable!

Aimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Blog said...

Ha! I can't say I ever liked wearing thongs. I find them incredibly uncomfortable. But yet I hear from friends who say they love wearing them because they're more comfortable than "real" underwear. I don't get it myself. And as for the women who wear them on the beach... unless you're rocking a butt like Gisele, forget it!

Paige said...

Signed the guestbook - first one from Sweet Home Alabama!

Stopping by from SITS Saturday Sharefest!

becca said...

So true. I stopped wearing a thong when my 4 yo daughter kept telling me my underwear was on backwards. Or she'd wince as she told me I really needed to pick my wedgie.

Very cute blog... I'm headed to sign the guestbook now. Thank you for visiting mine!

I'll be back!

momentsinaneye said...

Hi Eva, Hello from Michigan. What a eye opening blog you have. I would have never thought of a thong in the way you have. Never really thought much of them. I agree with you.
SITS brought me here. Thank you for your comment. Keep up the good work.

Michele said...

I'm all for wearing something sexy, but not at the expense of comfort. I don't get thongs either, both wearing one and paying the $$$$ for something that has practically no fabric whatsover. It's insane.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I signed the guestbook - that is a cool widget!!

OK - I wear thongs. Honestly? They are actually comfortable, I know it is hard to believe, but I also buy a size bigger to prevent, well, you know.

They don't bunch up like bikinis and you can't see the line on my pants/jeans/shorts.

So there you have it.

Aren't you glad I reciprocated the stopping by from SITS :-)

Encore Bride said...

I completely understand your dislike for things, when I was younger and wearing slacks as part of my uniform they provided no panty lines. Thankfully I've outgrown them now...Thanks for stopping by!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Once upon a time, on a beach far, far away, Ethel spied a middle-aged man strutting in nothing but a man-thong. He strode UP the beach and DOWN the beach and UP the beach and DOWN the beach, until his skin was the color of the sunset.
Men sneered. Ladies laughed. Ethel took pictures of his bare backside.
It was not a pretty sight.
The end.

Anonymous said...

The information here is great. I will invite my friends here.

Thanks

Melissa @ Cellulite Investigation said...

Yes, it's all about the VBL. And thongs don't look bad if you have the lights turned down really really really really low. I got that cellulite tip from Tyra Banks on twitter (and it works!) ;)

InspiredDreamer said...

LOL I Love all the comments about thongs!!! To add my own two cheeks--I mean two cents, I stood near ovens for 10 hours a day when I worked in a restaurant. You'd better believe I tried to find as many ways to reduce the amount of clothing I had to wear without being indecent, because it was HOT! And yes, all underwear ends up (literally) up my butt crack, so I may as well start with as little as possible. :)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I don't think my body was built for a thong.

Nightingale said...

What I hate about the thong is the possiblity of a FRONT wedgy... more unpleasant than the back I tell you!

Christine said...

I signed the guestbook too. I can't believe I didn't know it was there before now. Thanks for the head's up.

And as for the thongs, I liked them a lot when I was younger and my ass was smaller, but now I'm like: "OMG, what if I get in an accident and the paramedics and hospital staffers have to put me in a robe...eek!" So, I don't go there anymore.

Katherine said...

THONGS OVER DEPENDS AHAHAHA!

DRB said...

I was never much of a thong-girl. After I lost 50 lbs,, it was worth considering. Not that comfortable--but my husband likes it...so who am I to argue?

Date Girl said...

I completely agree! In high school I wore thongs because I thought they were just so great. Now I love a good brief. I feel like they're more flattering to my tooshie anyways! If I ever wear a thong now, it's just to bed, and it's off in a matter of minutes! ;-)

Laurie said...

Note to author: Latin American women LOVE thongs. And very tight jeans so I see every thong on the street. Not a pretty sight. WHY? WHY? WHY? I have so many questions that I will never get the answer to. Sigh.

Miz Dinah said...

Depends and a thong. Oh I can just picture that. And it's not good. Maybe they will invent thong-depends like the pantyliners they have that you can wear with a thong. They will be called D-strings.

gringationcancun said...

They eliminate VPLs!

As long there's complete hoo-hah coverage, they're actually quite comfortable.

mommydrinksbecauseyoucry said...

I don't know. They just don't bug me. I think it's a lot like where contact lenses instead of glasses. At first they bug the shit out of you, feel uncomfortable and then you start to get used to them and hate your glasses.

Yankee Girl said...

If I had a smaller ass I might wear thongs more often, but now i only wear them for the few minutes before I know my husband is going to be taking them off.

They really do suck.

naughteebits said...

as i'm getting a lil bit older i'm finding the boy shorts/cheeky hot pants WAY hotter...

http://naughteebits.blogspot.com/

JackieA said...

Hi Eva, I told my husband to try them on for a couple of hours......needless to say, thongs are not part of my repertoire now!

thatgirlisfunny said...

I feel a thong coming on...now I can't stop laughing and it's time to go to bed. OMG! You are funny!

tanisharankins said...

Honestly, I tried the thong idea for a moment when my friends tried to convince me it was the initiation to feeling sexy. That was when I was much younger. It was never comfortable to me and I through the whole notion out of the window. Many of my friends tried to reintroduce it to me all in the name of "Getting rid of pantylines!" But I realized it wasn't men who had a problem with the pantylines, but the women. And I don't really care about or care to know that a women is concentrating on my behind anyway:)Happy SITS Day to you! And keep up the great work:)

Sparkling said...

I wore one. Once. For approximately 1.4 seconds. Torture. I think 1/2 of what's wrong with the world today is due to cranky women who Are so miserable in their things.

Anna at www.mylifeandkids.com said...

You were one of the most-clicked links at last week's #findingthefunny party. Featuring you tomorrow and pinning this. Thanks for linking up!

OldDogNewTits said...

I have several pair in my drawer. And all but one still have the tags on them. I have tried (Lord, how I've tried) to brainwash myself into this idea but the entire night I wore them, while seemingly engrossed in other conversations at a party, my mind just kept replaying the same internal monologue on a tape loop. "You have something in your butt. You have something in your butt. You have something in your butt."

Honestly, I couldn't have been a very good listener that night.

Meredith said...

This is so funny! "Ass-floss" is going to stick in my head for a while--definite dilemma with Depends for sure...

Kelley said...

Ha!! Great point! They weren't thinking straight when they developed those thongs, now were they? THEY FORGOT ABOUT THE DEPENDS! You need to send this to Victoria's Secret right away so they can fix that.

(Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!)

Anonymous said...

Seriously i have to give you the secret for wearing thongs.. it's all about the size of them, really, you just choose one and go a size larger, then it's confortable.