Saturday, January 9, 2010

Wow, You're All of 12 Now! Have a Drink!

Party Time?
                Champagne and Mikes Hard Lemonade for All!

Below is a link to a video on UTube.  I don't know if you have seen this story but I find it very disturbing.  I know I often do tongue-in-cheek posts, but in  this case I'm totally serious.  The video is a news clip about a mother providing alcohol to her 12 year-old daughter and 10 of her friends aged 11 to 14 at the 12 year-old's birthday party.

Please go watch the clip and then return.

As a mother and a grandmother I am so floored by this story, I don't even know where to begin.  And the fact that it sounds like the woman is walking away with $7000 in fines but no jail time blows my mind.  When my boys were in high school, we had go arounds about alcohol.  They knew that I was against underage drinking.  I know I wasn't successful in stopping them from drinking altogether, but I was usually on top of things, and if it happened there were consequences; they might be grounded, not allowed to  have friends over, etc.  Under no circumstances would I have allowed them to host a party where alcohol was served, and I certainly never would have  served the alcohol.  And this was when they were 16, 17, and 18--not 11, 12, and 13.

Am I alone in thinking this is a serious crime and this woman should serve time, and Child Protective Services should be involved?  I'll admit to being a bit over-the-hill, but am I that far behind the times in thinking that it's not appropriate to party with your preteen kid?  Was she hoping for extra special Mother's Day presents for being such a "cool Mom" or what?  I really want to hear what you all think about this!


Respectfully Yours said...

Seems alot of parents feel it is more important to be their childs friend rather than the parent. I agree with you, absolutely crazy, but not surprising.

Take care. Happy Friday

M said...

I totally agree with the Child Protective Services being involved. If they dont get involved there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with the system!

Happy Sits Sharefest!!

Caroline said...

No you are not wrong . . . and yet, I don't have a problem with the children in my church partaking of communion, even though it involves dipping a wafer in wine. This is so different.

My name is PJ. said...

This is infuriating!!! The fines were all that 'was appropriate'? No jail time? WTF???!!!

If I was the mother of one of those children who attended, I'd be rounding every other parent up and heading down to the police station. I'd sit there until something was done.

No one called Social Services? Child Protective Services?

$7000 in fines wouldn't cover it if there was only one child involved!

5thsister said...

In our town, several years ago, a woman bought booze for her son and his friends under the pretense that they are going to drink anyway and might as well do it at home instead of drinking and driving. One of the kids died from alcohol poisoning.

I cannot believe there weren't more severe consequences!

The Good Cook said...

Wow. Hard to believe that a parent could be so stupid and irresponsible. If my child had been at this party I would have been livid. I'm not sure I would want this woman to go to jail though. Isn't that hurting the entire family? And how will jail rehabilitate her or teach her parenting skills? I think fines, mandatory parenting and alcohol awareness classes should be her "sentence"..

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

I'm sort of against drinking at any age having had alcoholic husbands, although Dick and I do have a drink now and again. I must confess, I did not go see her video in case Yu Tube is paying her for views? She should be removed from their lives. Forever.

TechnoBabe said...

You are not over the hill with your thinking on this matter. This happens to be one of my buttons and the video really pushed my button. Like you, I was pretty strict with my kids and regarding drinking it wasn't till they were teens that we were discussing drinking. One time my son took his younger sister with him to a party where there was drinking. He was 18 and she was 14. Apparently the parents of the host kids thought it would be perfectly okay to offer my daughter alcohol. My son took his sister home. I was really angry at the parents. The mother in this video needs to do community service work and attend mandatory classes showing her videos of teens dying in alcohol related situations. Instead of saving a limo ride and alcohol for an appropriate age, this mother is wiping out her daughter's childhood time and pushing her into being an adult when she cannot be ready for it. The publicity generated because of the police becoming involved in this case is not enough embarrassment for this lame brained mother who is too immature herself to protect her child or any other children. It should at least be made part of the agreement that she cannot be responsible for other children any longer, no children to spend the night or be under her influence.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I did not drink until I was 21. WHy? Because it was wrong! Plain and simple.

I just don't get how parents think it is ok for underage kids to drink. I just don't get it at all.

singedwingangel said...

OK now no I don't agree if the kids were drinking anywhere period. BUT I have an issue with the hotel manager claiming ther were NO signs any kids were drinking until AFTER the party?? Umm if it was after how do ya know it was the kids. IT also states other adults were at the party soo where were they if the drinking was going on?? Something about this sounds very suspicious to me.. but IF she did do it she should be in JAIL not fined period..

Vodka Logic said...

You are not wrong at all. So young too, the woman must be nuts.

My kids think I am a cool mom and I have never served them alcohol..

DJan said...

I think all the comments point to a universal agreement that alcohol does not mix well with children. The fact is too many children are pressured by their peers. Parents do all sorts of things to their children that make no sense, but there are no restrictions to keep some people from becoming parents... unfortunately. It should be a privilege.

New Mommy!!! said...

That is horrible! Was it in Europe? I know they have different. Cultural attitudes about drinking . But 12 seems very young. I know at a cerain age which is underage for us they allow them to have wine and such with dinner.

Eva Gallant said...

Respect: She needs to find "friends" her own age and start being a parent.

M: Thanks for stopping by from SITS!

Caroline: Totally different than communion!

PJ: I agree!

5th Sister: One of my friends years ago hosted a party for her graduating kids with a keg, and when I refused to help her chaperone because I told her it was wrong, she got angry with me. She had the attitude "they're going to drink anyway, so I'd rather have them here and make everyone give me their car keys." I couldn't believe she didn't see the problem with it! That was the end of our friendship.

Good Cook: I'm totally with you!

Lucy: the video was a news release from Fox News about the incident.

Girl Next Door: Me neither!

Singed: I question that as well; and I did see on the internet that this was the second incident of underage drinking at that same hotel within a short period of time.

Vodka: My kids and their friends always thought I was a cool mom, too, and I never condoned underage drinking!

DJan: I agree. You have to get a license to get married, but there's no requirement for parenting.

New Mommy: No this didn't happen in Europe! It happened in a small town in Wisconsin!

Steven Anthony said...

I agree with you...and I dont think the word mother can be used when describing this person!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Hard to believe, but this is not the first time this has happened. We had a very similar story on our local (Nashville) news a year or two ago about another mother providing alcohol at another young child's birthday party. I honestly do not remember what ever happened, but I imagine my lack of memory means that NOTHING happened! This, I think, goes way beyond child neglect; this is child abuse.

jenniferw said...

Disgraceful! Alcohol never helped anyone and has hurt so many.

Throw this mother in the hoosegow ... but protect the kids from the danger that lurks in some foster home situations.

Imagine all the heartbreak and abuse and violence and death that would be eliminated if alcohol no longer existed.

Wise post.

Fragrant Liar said...

Well, Cool Mom that I am, I NEVER allowed my kids to drink alcohol of any kind -- not even with me -- because I always feared they'd succumb to alcoholism one day (which runs in my family and their father's). I always discourage underage drinking (and overage drinking except in moderation).

I think it's BULL that that woman got off with essentially a slap on the hand.

I ONCE (note emphasis) had a good friend whose daughter hung out with mine. I found out that my so-called friend was giving my kids beer while they were in her house, because she'd "rather have them drinking with me than unsupervised somewhere else." And "They're going to do it anyway." WTF? I specifically forbade it, but I later discovered my rule just went right out the window; hence, the fact that she is no longer my friend. She actually helped develop and ENCOURAGED my daughters' drinking problem. What kind of justice is there for that?

Queenie Jeannie said...


That woman needs counseling for sure and yes, CPS should be involved. Unreal people parenting children these days.

Cinnamon-Girl Reeni♥ said...

That is nuts! The lady is obviously a crackpot!

Eva Gallant said...

Steven: She certainly wasn't fitting the job description that night!

ethel: I totally agree with you!

jenniferw: The mother certainly deserved more than a fine!

Frangrant: I'm with you--underage drinking should not be condoned--and drinking to excess in adults is asking for trouble as well as being a terrible role model

Queenie: I certainly hope CPS gets involved!

lakeviewer said...

We are losing it. We are no longer parenting; we are pal-ing with our children. This is a crazy trend indeed.

gayle said...

I so agree! I don't know what is wrong with parents sometimes!!

Colleen said...

This whole subject makes me nuts! Ds is in college, so this is still rather fresh, lol. I'm amazed at the amount of people who cop the "well, they're going to do it anyway" attitude -- infuriating.

On a gentler note -- really enjoying your blog!