Followers

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Knee Deep Discomfort

A few years ago, when I was first employed by Humana Insurance Company, they made arrangements for me to fly to Tampa for 3 weeks of training.  I was excited; new job, paid travel, nice hotel with pool, and new friends to meet.  I packed my 'business casual" per instructions, and threw in my swimsuit, thinking there had to be some pool time in each day, and I was going to take advantage of it.

Well, Robert Burns said, "The best laid plans of mice and (wo)men. . .  On the flight from Portland, ME to Charlotte, NC, something weird happened.  I had the window seat, and the two people in the seats in front of me had their seats reclined a bit.  I told the lady who was next to me in the aisle seat that I needed to use the restroom.  She stepped out of her seat into the aisle to make it easier for me to get out (or maybe she was worried I might "drip" on her on my way if she remained seated!).  In any case, I had to maneuver my not too small butt around the armrest between us and the reclined seat.  In the process, my right knee gave way.  It just totally let go, and I fell back into the aisle seat.  I got up, and again the knee went, and I fell again.  I finally was able to get out to the aisle and, holding on to the seat backs, make my way down the aisle (luckily, I was only in row 6) to the restroom.  Once inside, I fell onto the john.  Fortunately, the rest room is tiny and I'm not, so there was no danger of falling anywhere else!
 
I made my way back to me seat after, again holding on to seatbacks to keep from falling.  When I arrived in Charlotte, I had to be taken to the terminal by wheelchair; I couldn't put any weight on my leg at all.  I had to upgrade to first class on the second half of the trip, because I had been assigned a seat in row 17, and there was no way I could manage that!

When I arrived in Tampa, I ended up going to the emergency room, and after a 2 hour wait, some poking and prodding and Xrays, I was told I had sprained my knee, and all I could do was stay off it until it healed.  So much for my fun time in Tampa.  I ended up being pushed to classes in a wheelchair and using an old lady walker to get around in my room.

On the first morning, I couldn't shower, because I couldn't get in and out of the tub.  So I gave myself a "whore bath," washing face, pits, and hoo-hah as best I could.  As I stood stark naked with my walker for support, trying to get clean clothes out of my suitcase, I made the mistake of letting go of the walker, and I fell backwards against the wall, landing on my well-cushioned posterior.  I tried to get up again and couldn't.  I went into a panic at the thought of having to call the hotel desk saying, "I've fallen and I can't get ;up!"  Visions of some young bellhop coming to my room and having to help this overweight naked broad up off the floor made me cringe.  I managed to reach my underwear in the suitcase and throw them on the bed.  Then I dragged myself and the walker around to the side of the bed and proceeded to struggle into bra and panties.  The former was no problem, but the latter did present a challenge.  I struggled, determined that if I was going to have to call for help, at least all  my lady parts would be covered!


Having finally donned my undies, I made a final attempt to get up.  It's not an easy task for a woman of my size to get up of the floor when all my appendages are functioning.  Trying to accomplish this feat with an inabililty to use my right knee made it a herculean task.  I did manage eventually to get up and use the walker to get the rest of my clothes.  Sitting on the bed, I finished dressing, then wheeled myself to breakfast in the hotel dining room.

With the help of my fellow trainees, I made it through training.  They were wonderful and wheeled me to class and back, to meals and back, and to my room.  In the evening, I ordered room service, and when I explained my problem to the room service staff, they were very gracious and would bring a key so they could bring my meal in and then retrieve the cart so I wouldn't have to get up and open the door.

The knee did heal, but I still occasionally have some discomfort.  When a friend emailed me this cartoon, the whole experienc came back to me.  Thank goodness, I can laugh about it today.

That cartoon is so me in more ways than I want to enumerate!  Have a great day!

Blogger Templates

Blogger Templates

33 comments:

Helene said...

You have such a way of taking a really bad situation and finding the humor in it. I just adore that about you!

The cartoon is hilarious...is it sad that my boobs hang that low already and I'm barely into my 40's??!!

jules said...

Oh, your poor thing! I'm glad you saw the humor in it though. Bonus. You made me laugh after a hard week of work. (And yes, I know its only Monday)

sarah said...

You're hilarious. Your knee is not. BUT you, are.

I got a good belly laugh out of that cartoon too! Thanks :)

JackieA said...

Seriously Eva, That last cartoon there is my worst nightmare.....I hope my ample bosoms don't decide to go south anytime soon!

Miz Dinah said...

Oh dear God, I'm laughing my ass off. I can just picture it, and I'm so sorry, but it's really funny. I had to read the hotel scene to my husband.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

Oh my goodness what an experience! You are much stronger than me. I would have cried and whined and went home.

My name is PJ. said...

The cartoon is HYSTERICAL!\

You tell a GREAT story, Eva! I could picture you in each scenario. On the floor alone in your hotel room had to have been scary!

I adore your sense of humor!

glnroz said...

i think i see myself in that cartoon as well..

DJan said...

Oh! My! The fact that you can laugh about this now is a testament to your resilience and grit. The other day on the bus there was an overweight woman who was not wearing a bra, and "the girls" were past her waist. Everyone kept sneaking amazed looks, including me...

Candice said...

Yeah, I'd say that trip didn't go as planned.

Love the cartoon! Hilarious.;)

Kristina P. said...

That is some image!

Suldog said...

Eva, as a person who has had arthroscopic on one knee (for removal of torn cartilage) and many sprained knees - all softball injuries, except for one from basketball - I utterly sympathize. For joints which are so important to our mobility, they are surprisingly weak.

Margaret said...

That is so good of the people that were in training with you. There aren't a lot of people out there that are like that anymore.

I love the cartoon!

lakeviewer said...

Oh dear, too real to be funny. But funny it is! And the last picture? Priceless.

Stereos and Souffles said...

What a story! LOL

Steven Anthony said...

I learn something new everytime I visit your blog...a whore bath, lol, who knew:)

Eva Gallant said...

Steven: I learned that one from my sister-in-law; I guess a prostitute doesn't have time for a full shower between tricks, so she takes a "whore bath" and gets the important parts! lol

Glen: Are you the one with the sagging boobs, or the one in the chair?? lol

Jules: Sounds like it's going to be a long week for you!

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Oy! How frustrating and painful that must have been at the time! I'm glad things like this get funny over time.

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

Nothing is more humbling than losing our mobility and needing to rely on others! At least with your sense of humor, you'd make it through OK. (And you never know... You might have made a bell hops day!)

Kate said...

God that sounds awful but you make it really funny in your writing. I am so glad it is much better now and you have the best sense of humour!

Kate xx

Brian Miller said...

bwahaha...smiling for you...crushed both legs years ago (all better now)...not a lot of fun, especially when it rains...

Midday Escapades said...

I concur with Helene's comment! I love reading your posts. They are so humorous and I love the cartoon pics. Glad your knee heeled. :0)

The Retired One said...

How awful for you!
It reminds me of a few years ago when I had a horrible toothache while on vacation in Mexico...you haven't lived until you go to a Mexican dentist!
hahaaaaaa

K A B L O O E Y said...

You win. I laughed out loud three seperate times reading this one post and I'm tough. Love you.

JoeyRes said...

That's a funny take on a really horrible story! I hope those knees start acting right for you.

Marla said...

Please.....stop......I ....can't...breathe!!! ROFL!!!!!!

Going to change my underwear now.

Eva Gallant said...

Lucy: If walking in on me helpless on the floor naked would make someone's day, I'd hate to think what the rest of their day was like!

Kate: I live to laugh!

Marla: Have you considered Depends? lol

Deb said...

Loved the cartoon! Oh, the things our bodies do to us, holding us hostage at the most inopportune times.

Blackberry Jam Cafe said...

As always, funny, funny stuff! Just dropping in to check up on you and see what's new - I love that I can count on you for a smile!
Susan

Eva Gallant said...

Deb: That is the truth. It really took a lot of the fun out of my training.

Bucksomeboomer said...

Eva, I'm so glad I found you via SITS. You made lemonade out of lemons!

Brenda said...

That was a great story! I'm sure it was not all that funny when it happened, but you do have a way of telling it to us. I was scared for a moment that you would not actually be able to get up off the floor!

That last cartoon is priceless!

Joan Young Spotswood said...

I'm so glad to have found you! You're a hoot!