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Monday, April 26, 2010

Thinking Green in the Loo


According to TreeHugger, the media outlet that likes to consider themselves as the "one stop shop for green news, solutions, and product information," we use 36.5 billion rolls of toilet paper per year. That's a lot of wiping! To make matters worse, Allen Hershkowitz, senior scientist with the Natural Resources Defense Council, says, "Using toilet paper from virgin wood is worse for the environment than driving a Hummer." Apparently millions of trees and hundreds of thousands of gallons of water are used in the paper-making preocess.


                                                                                                                      Photo by Don Treeger / The Republican
Flo and Rich Newman pose with some of the items from their toilet paper collection.

I never knew there was so much interest in toilet tissue. In Amherst, Massachusetts there is The Toilet Paper Museum. I encourage you to click on that link--you won't believe it.

And then of course, celebrities feel compelled to excrete their opinions on the matter. Cheryl Crow tells us on her website that Charmin's research indicates that the average person uses 8.5 squares of toilet tissue per "sitting," or a total of 57 squares per day. She proposes that we cut back to two squares per "incident." I'm sure some congressman in Washington will see fit to get legislation passed to that effect....not sure how they would monitor and enforce that one! Maybe everyone would have a "sheet counter" installed on each toilet tissue dispenser in their home which would be wired into their local police station's computer's. Pity the poor patrolman on the "t.p. beat"--talk about a crappy job!





A fellow by the name of Josh Madison did an analysis of his personal use of toilet paper over the course of a year, keeping track of how much he used in the average week, the cost, etc. Click here to check that out!





Right about now, whether saving money or the environment is your concern, you're probably wondering what the politically correct method of using toilet paper is and how can you use less. Well, folks, have no fear:  below is a video on how to correctly and economically wipe!





And if that doesn't help you save conserve sufficiently, here's one that shows you the correct way to use just ONE square!




Aw, hell, maybe a bidet is the answer! Squat and splash, rinse and run!


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23 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I know I can always count on you to make me cringe.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I was FEELING green in the loo this very evening after eating some old pancake batter earlier (don't ask). Came back to haunt me in the form of crampy tummy and threatening to exit both ends simultaneously.

There, is that tasteless enough a comment for you? :)

Brian Miller said...

oh my...lol. yeah, i will save the environment in other areas of my life. i need a clean tush...

My name is PJ. said...

The idea of a toilet paper museum is right up there with the museum of menstruation that I posted months back.

Some people have too much time on their hands or too many recreational drugs at their disposal....or both!

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Yes, I agree, bidet is the answer! I admit I've never tried one, but it does look rather (ahem) refreshing!

Thanks again for the smile, Eva! You never, ever disappoint!

natalee said...

im sorry Eva I have to draw the line somewhere.. I cant spare a square..lol

DJan said...

I'll have to check out the museum link, who knew? And I think it's a great idea to use recycled paper in the making of TP. But don't ask us to use it more than once! Icky poo, as they say in my part of the country.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

I checked out all the links and they were fascinating. A little disturbing, but fascinating.

And I'm all for bidets; I tried them in Europe and found the experiencing "refreshing". But then people would be complaining about the water we use.

Steven Anthony said...

I think we all ned to wrap half a roll around our hand for each "Incident" in protest...lol

rose said...

very interesting. i'm retired but haven't given the toilet paper issue much thought, except when i'm in a bathroom stall and WHERE'S THE TIOLET PAPER?i love trees don't know what to do now. new blogger http://somewondersoflife.blogspot.com/

Kitty Moore said...

Eva - you are a genius - not only do you manage to write about toilet paper and make it sound interesting - you also make it funny!

Jen said...

Well, that was informative....I do not believe a " Toilet Paper Museum "!!! No wonder this government,[county,state, country] is going down the DRAIN!!!!

Wanderlust said...

Um...can I just stop using paper towels instead? Please...?

Bossy Betty said...

I just learned a whole lot more than I think I wanted to know. Loved your play on words throughout! I am flushed with joy!

Unknown Mami said...

If I am only going #1, I line dry my toilet paper so that I can use it again later. NOT!!!

lakeviewer said...

I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing! There are so few things left that I use without guilt. TP is one of them. The other? Water. Both of these products are abundant here in Oregon.

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

I'm sure Cheryl wants us to all think she has delicate enough poo's to only use the two sheets! (Wait til she gets older and it becomes the main event of her day too!)

K A B L O O E Y said...

Josh Madison is in serious need of a hobby.

Ann On and On... said...

Well....I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who counts my squares. Hee Hee

Janiece said...

hehehehehehe
can I just say first b-days...no not birthdays well yea maybe that too...FREAK ME OUT...that is what they use in Argentina.

I still used my TP
and 2 squares really are not enough...and did you notice the ninnies that said that one piece is enough are MEN!!! YEA...that who shake and run...takes on a whole new meaning :-)

Danica-Dragonfly said...

You are killing me.

Seriously.

I think it is possible my husband could be responsible for much of the consumption ... I have never seen anything like it.

...and actually - I'd take the "crappy job" over my current one - any day.

Eva Gallant said...

Steven: Sounds like clog fodder as opposed to blog fodder!

Rose: Don't you hate it when you do your business and then there's no tp???

Kitty: Why thank you...I hope that's a compliment!

Jen: It's all that BS out there! lol

Marla said...

No, seriously....I am naseous.