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Monday, April 19, 2010

VaJazzling: Who Knew???

Okay, where the heck have I been??  I missed this new fad altogether.  It wasn't until I visited Bombshell Bliss on Saturday morning that I learned about VaJazzling.  There are actually ladies out there who pay to have a bikini wax and then add an assortment of Swarowski crystals.  (Not to be confused with ordinary rhinestones that you could get at Walmart; after all, if you're going to adorn your hoo-hah entrance with a blingy figleaf or something for $115 to $750, you want the real goods!)

In case any of you were as in the dark on the subject as I was, I've posted a video (no crotch shots!) of Jennifer Love Hewitt babbling about her bedazzled  but bare bush below:




Well, my reaction to the idea of a crystal crotch would be a concern about suffering from itchy couchie!

Meanwhile, my Hubby jumped on this! (the idea, not Jennifer Love Hewitts vajazzled vajay!).  He's decided that southern Maine needs a vajazzling venue, and he's wanted an interesting part-time retirement career.  He's gone to Walmart to pick up some hedge clippers, paint brushes, sequins, and super glue so he can start raking in the dough!  (Sequins?  Mainers aren't so snobby as to demand the high end stuff),

In my mind this whole trend can only lead to one thing:  Dickorating!  (Hubby says if it comes to that, he'll leave that part of the business in my hands!)



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37 comments:

singedwingangel said...

roflmbo ya'll ain't right just ain't right and mine is bare but ain't get vajazzled or anything else..

The Vegetable Assassin said...

HA! Dickorated! Well done! :)

I can't imagine who the hell wants to jazz up their bizness with bling. I mean no one needs stones, precious or otherwise, in their delicate lady paradise. And I doubt many men out there care if a lady's mary is decorated or not, they just want to know it's available on request for their purposes, most of which don't include skinning THEIR bizness on a cubic zircona (unless you're into that kind of thing).

Silly Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Also, can it BE a bush if it's bare, Eva? Hmmm? :)

I have spoken.

Marla said...

My mouth is hanging open. No, seriously....OPEN. I am .... this is .... what the ..... I am afraid my brain has gone blank.

Oh, the nightmares I fear tonight.

Bombshell BLISS said...

If dickrating could get more women to do the deed, I'm pretty sure every man on the planet would be lining up.

Too funny.

Brian Miller said...

actually , i have...no, no...can't even joke...lol...seriously this is crazy. i saw something on this a few weeks back...

5thsister said...

still laughing here...you can't be serious? but your "dickorating" comment...oh my...sides splitting. Gotta go before I pee myself!

DJan said...

You're right, Eva: where have I BEEN? How could I have fallen behind so quickly? When dickorating becomes the latest fad, I will personally know where it started from! Very funny, as usual. Thanks for the morning laughs.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Hilarious.

I'd heard about this whole thing (and saw the video of JLH). But frankly, I kind-of liken it to putting expensive foiled wallpaper and plush carpeting in the outhouse. You can vjazzle it up, but it's still what it is --- and pretty ain't one of em!

Kitty Moore said...

Wow - this is the first I've heard of it - maybe it hasn't made it over to the UK yet!

Melissa said...

Yeah....men would never do that, at least not mine! I would also be really worried about itch...a lot...


Stopping by from SITS

natalee said...

NO WAY!!!!! I CAN NOT SHOW HUBBY>> HE'll SELL A LIVER So i can have this done...EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! LOLOLOL

I am just in shock.. r u f'n serious???? hugs

Kristina P. said...

Vajazzler has been my new favorite word, for a while now. I like to throw it out in casual conversation.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I love it! Dickorated.

I just heard of this a week or so ago and I am thankful I am not of that generation who has to remove all hair to look like a 8 yr old and then decorate it with jewels like i'm in art class.

This is one of the few times I am thankful I am an old broad!

The only shortfall with dickorating is men can't handle pain. Think they would ever wax all that hair down there? that's funny to even think about - they can't handle waxing eyebrows let alone pubic hair. Oh that makes me laugh! :-)

Steven Anthony said...

I saw that interview....it peaked my interest fore sure;)

Linda Medrano said...

I'm almost struck dumb (as in speechless not stupid) with this one. Is that woman out of her mind? Does she get these crystals glued on or do they braid them into her (oh never mind). Funny, but also scary!

Candice said...

I'll pass on bedazzling my ladywallet, but I'm all about the dickorating!

Shell said...

I totally cracked up at dickorating!

injaynesworld said...

"Dickorating!" BAHAHAHA!

This is right up there with labia die jobs. Leave the poor thing alone, people!

Canadian Blend said...

Is Vajazzing for men? Or is it something only the Vajazzed woman would know about and enjoy in silence?

I was getting ready to say something about what men might think of this, and as I struggled over a way to say it delicately, glanced over at The Vegetable Assassin's reply... she says it rather well. :)

Eva Gallant said...

Canadian: I've come to the conclusion it must be a lez thing. I doubt many men pause to take in the scenery!

Jayne: I totally agree!

Steven: Was that peaked, or peeked?

Kitty: Must have been delayed by all that volcanic ash!

vajazzleman said...

For anyone looking...I found an online source for vajazzling kits and individual swarovski crystal tattoos. If you're interested go to www.vajayzzle.com

Unknown Mami said...

Eva, I always learn something new from you. I had no idea my vagina was so under-decorated. I mean, it could be looking like a disco ball.

Midday Escapades said...

Holy cow! You crack me up, Eva. I vote for dickorating. In fact, I'm telling my husband.

The Retired One said...

Dictorating...bwaaaahhaaaaaaaa..Eva, I don't know WHERE you get this stuff..you are one NUT and I love it!

Jeanie said...

I had heard of vajazzling, but I think you are for sure on to something with the dickorating. I can't wait to see you on Larry King, or at least Joy Behar.

ethelmaepotter! said...

OMG, this is INSANE!

Reminds of a relative and her husband, though: long ago, they had each other's names TATTOOED on their respective hoohas. Jennifer reported that years later, her name on his hooha, became more difficult to read, because, of...uh...difficulties with aging, until all it said was, "Jr."

Writing Without Periods! said...

I think if one of those crystals came loose it could be rather painful. who the heck does this?
Funny, tho.
Mary

Respectfully Yours said...

Ok with my luck one of those crystals would get caught on my "big mamma panties" and pull my skin right off.

Eva Gallant said...

Respectfully: Just don't wait til you're in a crisis situation to go potty....than you can lower those panties gingerly! lol

Danica-Dragonfly said...

Oh my ... just when I thought I couldn't lose any more respect for Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Wow! My Hubs would likely be interested in opening the Atlantic Canada branch of Vajazzelerz R US.

*shudders*

Eva Gallant said...

Mary(writing): You're right. I suspect it would be itchy at the least!

Ronnica said...

SO weird. I don't get it. While I'm a virgin by choice and perhaps not the best voice on this, I still don't think that "decorating" is necessary, or desired, by men.

kbxmas said...

Dickorating! OMG.

I did a post on this last month and I'll say again what I said then. I can't imagine any man with a fully extended Y chromosome looking at a woman's cootch and saying "hey girl, why don't you glue some rhinestones on that thing." Seriously people.

Vanessa Rogers said...

I can't imagine it would be comfortable. So strange..

Eva Gallant said...

Vanessa: I agree...sounds itchy to me!

Anna at www.mylifeandkids.com said...

I mean - seriously. Dickorating? Love it! Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny

Sparkling said...

I am pretty much speechless right now after watching that. I have so many questions, I don't even know where I would start. Wow. Found you at finding the funny.