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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Saturday Silliness

When a woman wears a leather dress,


A man's heart beats quicker,

And his throat gets dry,

He goes weak in the knees,

And he begins to think irrationally.

Ever wonder why?.

It's because she smells like a new truck !

****************

A police car pulled up in front of grandma's house, and grandpa got out.


The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.

"Oh papa," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost?"

Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, he whispered, "I wasn't lost mama... I was just too tired to walk home."

***********************


A fourth-grader was excited that he had tried out and gotten a role in his school's play. His father was really proud of him and asked, "So, what part did you get?"


The little boy replies, "I got the part of a man who's been married for 25 years."

His father congratulated him said "That's good son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking role!"





***********************

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.. I have two female parrots, But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say, Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment. 'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying . . That phrase . . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'

The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence. Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot And exclaimed,
'Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!'










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23 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

heheheeee love the silly...great way to start a weekend ;)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Thanks for the fun laughs at the end of the day.

Hope you have a great weekend Eva,
jj

Wanderlust said...

The parrot joke gave me a good laugh. Enjoy your weekend!

Chrysalis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rose said...

Great fun things to read. Have a good weekend

Chrysalis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vodka Logic said...

They are all funny... thanks for the laugh

Ekanthapadhikan said...

That made my day! Good ones!! Thank you!!!

My name is PJ. said...

That was a fabulous way to start my Saturday, EJ! You find the funniest stuff....

I REALLY love #1!!!!!!!!!

Brian Miller said...

haha. a speaking part...hmmm...
i will have to remember that trick on getting home one of these days...

rose said...

What can I SAY but, LOVE IT,love it!. Have a good day.

R.J. said...

I love your jokes. BTW, I am more than a little curious about what was said by Chrysalis that had to be removed. Was it really gross? When I see censored comments such as that, I always wonder.

Ratz said...

I enjoyed this Eva.... hahaha... esp the father- son one.... fabulous.... Enjoy your weekend and thanks for commenting on my post....

xoxoxo

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

I laughed right out loud. Hilarious! Have a great weekend.

Debbie said...

Hysterical!
I loved the first one about the new truck. So funny.

Respectfully Yours said...

good ones...have a great weekend

lakeviewer said...

That made my week!

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

It's good to laugh, isn't it? Yes, our motto: The sooner you make comedies out of tragedies, the better?

tattytiara said...

Ah my dear you never fail to make me smile.

Midday Escapades said...

Those are seriously funny. I really liked the "speaking role" one.

p.s. You are not too late for the PF Chang's gift cards. Hurry though - it ends tonight at 11:59 pm CST. Good luck!

woman:confused said...

Those are good ones!
And, for your fab blogging - and award :)
http://musingsofaconfusedwoman.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-got-blogging-award.html

woman:confused said...

(not to worry, you don't need to repost it)

FabuLeslie said...

Funny stuff. :) Thanks for the laughs. Found you through You've Got to be Kidding Me.