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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saturday Silliness

A man and his wife, moved back home to West Virginia, from Ohio. The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Ohio cost them $2000 per year! When they arrived in West Virginia, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.'

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in West Virginia to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Ohio!

The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39... You just have to know how to describe it!

( HILLBILLIES know how "to git 'ER done)


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A burglar broke into a house.
As he went about his business, he heard a voice say, "Jesus if watching you."
He looked around and saw a parrot, who again said, "Jesus is watching you.'
The burglar asked the parrot what his name was, to which the Parrot replied, "Moses."

The burglar said, "Now, what sort of person would name a parrot Moses?"

The Parrot replied, "The same sort of person who would name a rottweiller Jesus!"



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A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

*****************


A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.  The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.   Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink? It's on the house."

"No, thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"Well, sister," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue in the restroom, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"



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18 comments:

FabuLeslie said...

Haha! That silly nun! Hooray for joining in the silliness when you come across it!! :)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Love the wooden leg story..... Thanks for the chuckle.
Happy weekend,
jj

Canadian Blend said...

I used to live in a little town that was home to a company that made prosthetic devices. Now I live about two miles from a Hooters.

Ohio has it all.

My name is PJ. said...

Now THAT'S the way to start the day with a laugh! I can always count on you!

Brian Miller said...

ha. the last one is my fav i think...it evens the playing field...have a wonderful saturday!

R. J. said...

I'll have to zip this over to my friend who lives in The Villages!

Lizzie said...

Love those, thanks!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

ericka @ alabaster cow said...

i love that joke!

happy sits saturday sharefest - glad to be your newest follower! :)

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

Glad you're back on the go Eva! It's too nice in summer to be out of commission.

Unknown Mami said...

Hey, single is single.

Kitty Moore said...

Very funny - thanks for the giggle Eva!

lakeviewer said...

Even a nun is curious!

Respectfully Yours said...

Thanks for the laugh, excellent. Loved the nun story.

Poetic Shutterbug said...

Hilarious, the wooden leg and sprinkler system had me in stitches. Thanks for the laughs :D

The Retired One said...

Hahhaa Eva!
I wonder if the nun prayed for a miracle when she lifted the fig leaf off?
ha

Tgoette said...

Great jokes this week, Eva! I think I loved the nun one the best! Thanks for the smiles!

rose said...

thanks for giving the laughs. rose

Eva Gallant said...

Rose: As always, you are welcome.

Respectfully: Me, too!

Kitty: Giggles cost nothing!

Erika: Thanks for following and welcome! Which was your favorite?

Faubu: Some things just beg to be shared!