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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saturday Silliness

The Thingy




Why Men Can Pee Standing Up.



God was just about done creating humans, but he had two parts left over. He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might as well ask them.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee standing up. “It’s a very hand thing,” said God, “and I was wondering if either of you had a preference for it.”

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, “Oh please give that to me! I’d love to b e able to do that! It’s seems like just the sort of thing a man should have! Please! Please! Give it to me!” On and on he went, like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam wanted it so bad he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited, he started whizzing all over the place; first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, then he tried to hit a stump 10 feet away—laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement, and then God said to Eve, “Well, I guess you’re stuck with the last thing I have left”

“What’s it called?” asked Eve.

“Brains,” said God.


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 Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.

'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'

'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'

 **************************

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage.

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.


*****************************

mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3.




The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Mom saw the opportunity for a moral lesson and said; "If Jesus was sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait".
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you can have the first chance at being Jesus!"

**********************

Potato Prostitute

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute..

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the little sticker that says...

I - DA – HO!


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

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17 comments:

Miz Dinah said...

nyuk nyuk...

rose said...

thanks for the laughs. have a good weekend. rose

Brian Miller said...

huh, you sayin i got no brains? smiles. lol, gramma can cook...now dats funny...

My name is PJ. said...

MWAHAHAHA!!

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

The potato joke is the best one!

Midday Escapades said...

Oh wow, those Adam & Eve jokes are freaking hilarious! What a great way to start my Saturday. Happy weekend, Eva!

sheila said...

LOL, great for a saturday morning chuckle, thank you! ha ha! I wanted to tell you your indian name on laffyladys comments is hysterical!

Thanks again for your comment on my guest post over on LaffyLady. I can be found on two places: My Crazy Life and My Body/Mind Wellness blog Come visit if you have a chance. Have a great day!

natalee said...

LOL>>>>>> Oh those were hysterical!!!!!!!!!! HUGS!!!!

Cinnamon-Girl said...

Thanks for the laughs! Love the first one. But their all pretty funny. Hope you have a great weekend too!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Thanks for visiting, Eva. Have a great weekend!
xoRobyn

Joann Mannix said...

Those were just fabulous! I love the letting his brother take a turn at being Jesus first.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh, Eva, how I've missed you!! So glad I checked back, I'm STILL laughing!! Thanks!!

Steven Anthony said...

lol....I needed the laugh ;)

Java said...

Hi Eva!!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and visiting the Follow Friday 40 and Over Blog Hop!

I am now following you. And what a great blog you have!! I'm really looking forward to our friendship!! I would love it if you would follow me back!

I would also like to invite you to join the Over 40 Bloggers Club!! Take a look and join in the fun!

Have a wonderful Sunday!!

Java

Eva Gallant said...

Steven: Always glad when I can make you laugh, my friend.

Rose: Hope you are having a good weekend, too.

Sewa: Glad you enjoyed them!

Poetic Shutterbug said...

LMAO, hysterical.

The Retired One said...

Brains.
bwaaahaaaaaaaaa..........