Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday Silliness

Confined to Wheels

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off is mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too."

Long Hair and Driving:

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."

His father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"


Getting Buzzed

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.  A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink.. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint.

The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude... How much water did you drink!?'


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Shelley said...

Love these jokes.

gaelikaa said...

Thanks for the laugh, Eva! I always enjoy visiting here!

Chef Dennis said...

i dont know if I groaned or laughed
thanks so much for sharing!

Brian Miller said...

hahaha. tha last one is halarious!

gayle said...

So funny!! My first laugh of the day!!

DJan said...

that is so funny! I love the last one too! Happy Weekend and a silly Saturday to you!

Steven Anthony said...

the koala made me snort my morning coffee out my

Debbie said...

OMG EVA!! Where DO you find these jokes! Hey are you watcing The Last Comic Standing on tv?? It's hilarious. One of the jokes I heard recently.... "I haven't been to the spa in quite sometime. The only facial I get lately is when I'm straining pasta!"

jinksy said...

Water retention big time, that would have needed!

Pat said...

Ha, ha! Too funny!

We seem to follow a lot of the same blogs. I see your comments and today I thought I'd check out your blog. I like you!

I am now a follower!

Unknown Mami said...

The last one really made me laugh. I didn't see the punchline coming.

Pretty Things said...


Poetic Shutterbug said...

Koala and lizard, LMAO

The Retired One said...

Oh gosh, Eva...that last one--complete with photos, is hilarious...whereever did you find the photos to go with the joke?

Elenka said...

Very good jokes! Hard to find really good ones.

Eva Gallant said...

Elenka: I do my best. Glad you liked them.

Prettythings: Glad I tickled your funny bone!

Debbie: I can't disclose my sources! lol (actually, many are sent to me by friends on email because they know I'm always looking for thing for my blog!

Steven: The Koala one was definitely the best one.

Gayle: Glad I could start your day with a smile!

Shelley: So glad you do!

Marla said...

Eva ~ I have missed you, you silly girl. Going to read more....

Miz Dinah said...

Duuuuuude! So funny!

Meeko Fabulous said...

That koala joke gets me EVERY time!!!