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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday Silliness

Did you know that Eagle's mate for life?

Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!  Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.

So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. The sex was good but all the dove would say is ..... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'
This so got on Harry's nerves he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........ 'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon.

Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....

NO, The duck didn't say THAT


The duck said.... 'I am a DRAKE, You made a MISTAKE!!!! !



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On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students and pointed out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180." The students sat in silence. "Are there any questions?" the dean asked.

After a few moments, a male student raised his hand. "How much for a season pass?" he asked.



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Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful,  big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos.


As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent
over to pick it up....

.....then all the other bells started to ring.


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Have a great weekend everyone!

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11 comments:

Ocean Girl said...

Thank you for the smiles. The season pass question was the cutest :)

Happy Weekend to you too.

Mesina said...

HAHA! I love the dormitory!! Season pass....oooh you gotta love it!! Great post Eva xx

natalee said...

YOU STARTED MY WEEKEND OFF WITH A SMILE!!!!

Mr. Stupid said...

These were funny. Loved the "season pass" part though. Thanks for sharing.

DJan said...

These are all funny, Eva, and I also like the season pass one the best. Have a great weekend!

Cinnamon-Girl said...

Thanks for the laughs, Eva! The last one was really good at evoking laughs as well as ewws! Hope you have a great weekend!

Pat said...

I don't know, I laughed out loud with the bell ringer! Of course, I loved them all! Now if I can only remember them!

Poetic Shutterbug said...

Thanks for the belly laughs, the duck and the priests, hysterical.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh, once again, Eva, so fun!! My favorite was the dormitory. I think I went to school with a few of those "season pass holders!!"

Hope you're having a great weekend!!

Wanderlust said...

LOL!! These were great. Love the season pass!

The Retired One said...

EVA!!!! Naughty Eva!!!