1. No less than 3 times per week my phone rings and I hear a recorded voice say, "Please hold for a very important message." I usually hang up, but maybe if I had "held," I might have made the list. They probably needed my take on a very important topic. And my opinion is obviously valued, because they had a recording call me! So urgent is the need of my response, they can't even wait to have a live person call me, they have a tele-bot do it.
2. Mrs. Madeline Johnson has sent me an email requesting my help in securing her late husband's fortune from Nigeria. The poor man was killed in a plane crash, and I'm the only person she trusts on the whole Internet to help her get her hands on the $530,000,000 that he deposited in a bank there before his untimely death. Never mind the fact that she is willing to give me a third of the booty for my help, of all the possible
3. I may have been chosen the winner of the $5,000 per week for life by the Publishers' Clearing House. (They obviously have gotten wind of that best-selling novel that's lurking in the far corners of my brain.)
4. Bank of America wants to offer me an exclusive credit card deal for my non-existent business at an unbelievably low rate of interest.
5. My opinion is critical to a very important political survey regarding President Obama's performance in office.
6. A recent email has informed me that I can purchase all the Viagra hubby could ever need right here on the 'net!
If those aren't proof that I'm a very near miss for the 100 Most Powerful Women in the World, I don't know what is! However, I do have a difficult time understanding how I got beat out by the likes of Sarah Palin and Lady Gaga.
Note: I've known I was destined for greatness ever since in my youth when Smokey the Bear told me only I could prevent forest fires!