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Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's All in the Tongue!

Listen up, fellow chubbies!  (Notice I included myself in the group.)  There's another way to lose weight out there.  You've heard of Gastric Bypass, which involves surgery which divides the stomach into small and large pouches, and rearanges the small intestine to allow both pouches to stay connected to it.  this procedure results in a reduction in the volume the stomach can digest (Wikipedia).  It's a procedure not without risks.  Two percent of the patients die within a month of surgery.

Then there's Lapband surgery which involves laproscopically attaching an inflatable silicone band around the stomach to reduce the amount a person can comfortable eat.


  This method is less risky than Gastric Bypass, and most patients do lose some weight.  Both procedures require surgery however, and are usually only performed on people who are considered morbidly obese...at least 80 to 100 lbs. overweight.

Well now there's something new; something for the person who wants to lose 50 pounds or less.  It involves minor surgery done in the doctor's office with local anethesia.  watch the video below:






Though Dr.Chugay says the patch makes eating uncomfortable, some patients who have had the procedure say eating is downright painful and the person has no choice but to follow a liquid diet!  The patch must be removed for health and safety reasons after 30 days.

After giving this some thought, I've come up with an alternative to Dr. Chugay's plan, for those who don't like the idea of having their tongue numbed and turned into a patchwork quilt.  It involves a gadget that can be purchased at Walmart or a hardware store for under $5.00, and can be self-applied.  It will be uncomfortable, will require a liquid diet, but should result in the desired weight loss:


The low cost, the ease of application, and the sheer convenience should make this a big winner.  I can't decide whether to call it the Tongue Trap or the Calorie Catcher.  What do you think?
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18 comments:

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

Um. No thanks Eva. I'd much rather keep my lumps. :)

Kristina P. said...

WHAT?!? That is crazy!! Why would they do that?!?! And by they, I mean the news. They don't even show us if she lost the weight? Booo.

Martha Ruth said...

I rather like "Calorie Catcher" myself. Has a nice ring to it and it lulls the prospective patient into a false sense of security because it sounds totally harmless.

You are truly an "Eval" Genius! LOL ;~)

Martha

My name is PJ. said...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! For a brief second, I thought you were posting something, uh, serious. What will they think of next??? I do like the mousetrap idea!!

Brian Miller said...

i think i have a used one around here somewhere so this should be easy...smiles.

Jen said...

OUCH!!!! The hardware I have seen before, if I find it in my garage I don't know...should I,shoudn't I?Oh no. I think it has been used!!!!

Tam said...

I should have known there would be a little Eva twist at the end! I was all, hmmm...she can't be serious?!

Canadian Blend said...

Add my vote for "Calorie Catcher."

You're just one infomercial away from getting rich.

Meeko Fabulous said...

I think the Calorie Catcher might catch on better! LoL :)

Debbie said...

Oh lady. You are too funny! Love that idea.

natalee said...

AHHHH!!!!!!! Id rather stay chubby.... AHHHH!!! that mad me cringe!!!!!

lakeviewer said...

My goodness, where do you come up with this stuff!

Pat said...

OMG, what is next? Cut off our arms so we can't stuff our mouths?

I love your calorie catcher idea MUCH, MUCH better!

Candice said...

People are stupid, and will do just about anything to lose weight EXCEPT get off their asses and eat less.

Kymmie said...

Hehehe, just popped over from FYBF and you had me laughing at the mouse/mouth trap. Hilarious!

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

I'm loving your idea, Eva- that rocks!!

nick said...

Interesting idea. I know a few people I'd like to apply that method to, but for different reasons.

Eva Gallant said...

Jen: All the better if it's been used; it may have a smidgeon of protein on it!

Canadian: I think you could be right....but maybe not! lol