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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Saturday Silliness

LAST RITES

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing so the priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody

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The Paper Isn't All That's Missing!

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"  The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church today."


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Enough of the Miracles!


A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."

When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couples' house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He's gone to Rome, to blow that damn candle out" came the harried reply.


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Funeral Service for a Bird


While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.   Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.


The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:

"Glory be unto the Faaaather. And unto the sonnn.......and into the hole he gooooes."

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12 comments:

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

hehehe - Happy Saturday!

My name is PJ. said...

Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church today - I laughed so hard, I almost spit my coffee on my keyboard!

Brian Miller said...

smiles. happy saturday eva...at least i think it is saturday...

DJan said...

Ah, my Saturday smiles. Thanks, Eva.

Pat said...

And into the hole he goes! Love it!

Xmas Dolly said...

Great Post there Girlfriend! I was feelin' a bit poorly this morning, and you really perked me up. Going to have to grab your button or something, so I can remember where you're at. Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks again! LOL

Bossy Betty said...

Very cute! I especially like the first one! Wise man!

Steven Anthony said...

always love me some silly:)

David Waters said...

this was such a funny post...thanx for the giggles;)

LBDDiaries said...

These were vert funny and made my day! I like your site!

Jen said...

Funny!!You did it again, Eva. Gotta love Saturday.

Eva Gallant said...

Lambaround: Thanks for featuring me on your blog! I am honored!

Steven: And I'm always glad to provide the silly!

LBDDiaries: Thanks for visiting! So glad you like my blog!

Jen: I so my best!