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Monday, November 29, 2010

Boxers or Briefs?


The Scottish Tartan Authority, which is the organization which manages the standards of highland dress, says it's no longer prudent to "go commando" under your kilt.  For years, we've wondered what those Scottish laddies wore under their skirts, and yes, for many the answer was "not a thread!"

Now it seems the kilt rental companies (they rent them? Who knew?) are saying that it is "unhygienic" and not even traditional. This is a sad blow for those of us who laciviously  imagined all the wearer's man parts were running "free range" under there. 

Once the kilt rental companies started requesting that patrons don underwear, the STA folded like a rickety card table and offered their full support.  I guess the renters weren't keen on every Scot's junk rubbing all over their plaids.  Also, it seems the the midges are plentiful in the Highlands and have been known to launch full-frontal attacks on the "true Scotsmen."

Scots actually use the term 'regimental' rather than 'commando' in referring to the practice of wearing the kilt sans undies.  It seems there was actually an inspection process used.  I found the rules for this on line and have copied them below:


Rules of Engagement for Certified Kilt Inspectors:


Kilt inspections are to be performed only after receiving permission (or an invitation). If a guy inspects up your skirt without your permission he'd go to jail.

Kilt inspections are to be done using either one or both hands or the eyes. A "lift & peek" is a sure sign of an amateur kilt inspector.

A "lift & peek" is acceptable only when the kilt wearer is doing the lifting and the inspector is doing the peeking. If an inspection has not been requested by all peekers then it is flashing, not an inspection.

It is appropriate to provide a reward after one passes inspection. It is also appropriate to provide punishment if one fails inspection.


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Now what do you suppose the reward was for passing regimentation?  A free can of bug spray?



I suppose this means job obsolescence for Certified Kilt Inspectors--just when I was about to inquire about the process of becoming one!

Going forward, when you see a fellow in a kilt, I guesss the only question will be "Boxers or Briefs?"




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18 comments:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I need a job. Peekaboo

Mesina said...

haha!!! Oh my Eva...oh my. No lifting and peeking eh? Well that blows my job as a certified Kilt inspector...I had big dreams! BIG DREAMS! But with those scotties not even going commando anymore, it's a dying dream now. Well, still. Bug spray does seem like a nice reward. HAHA great post!

Brian Miller said...

you know they say free range is better...

Gaston Studio said...

How funnily informative Eva! You always come up with the oddest bits, and do them so well! BTW, I agree with Brian!!!

My name is PJ. said...

Commando was always so, uh, inspiring......

DJan said...

I never understood why anyone would WANT to go underwearless. It would be so uncomfortable, I would think. Funny, Eva.

Debbie said...

There's just something about the Lift and Peek.

natalee said...

LOL!!!!!!! Damn.. I wanted that job... dont you know at my house I have to check everymorning that my boys aren't regimental... free balling...sans undies whatever you call it........ so i have lots of experience..

jules said...

Does this mean they don't wash them at the rental companies? I mean, it seems risky business to go commando in a kilt, but still. I would hope if would be clean for them if they did!

jules said...

Does this mean they don't wash them at the rental companies? I mean, it seems risky business to go commando in a kilt, but still. I would hope if would be clean for them if they did!

Jen said...

V e r y i n e r e s t i n g!!!!
One can only hope for a breezy day !!?? lol

David Waters said...

lol, as always a hoot. comando??? depends on my mood:)

Kristina P. said...

My husband will be so disappointed. I did a post about how he told me when we were dating that his family was Scottish, and he wanted to wear a kilt at our wedding.

Well, come Thanksgiving dinner with his entire family. IT WASN'T TRUE!! He was so busted. Good thing I married him anyway.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Well being Scottish I can confirm the commando thing does happen. A lot. In fact, once, many years ago, my sister and I were in Edinburgh watching a group of American tourists have their photos taken with some guys in kilts. Unknown to the tourists though, the guys were standing on steps behind them lifting up their kilts to display their uh...goods. That would be a nice surprise when those photos came back, no? This was when I was a teen, before digital cameras became the norm.

I will say one thing though. If you get a hot man in a kilt with big combat boots or something, it's very sexy in a sci-fi warrior type of way. Be still my beating heart.

Eva Gallant said...

Jules: Maybe they just don't like the condition they are in when they are returned to the rental company.

Jen: You devil, you!

Veg: I'm not sure about that; actually silk boxers are pretty sexy!

Bossy Betty said...

I'm still going to believe they go commando. You can't take that away from me.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

I just don't even know what to say. Maybe, um, ew? Who knew??!

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