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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Saturday Silliness

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged





SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?



MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are



DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas



NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me



MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...



PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me



PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why



PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)



BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.


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I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives, especially during the holidays.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, a box of chocolates, and the last bit of the tequila.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now!



Peace.
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15 comments:

lakeviewer said...

It's a wonder we can remember anything, now that we over sixty plus. I guess memory loss trumps every other illness, with or without Dr. Phil's help.

SherilinR said...

i've got some stuff around here i could stand to finish, but somehow, none of them are nearly as appealing as the food & liquor listed here!

My name is PJ. said...

The carols are funny, but the list of what you finished is even funnier!!

AnnOnandOn said...

I think I can finish a few things around here too! Thanks to you and the brilliant words from Dr. Phil...

Is it bad that I could see the faces of certain people in my life as I read the carols.

Happy Saturday Eva! Thanks for the morning silliness.

Coffee Slut said...

Too funny!
Have a great weekend!

Nayeli said...

The carols are so funny! This was exactly what I needed to start my Saturday morning. Stopping by from SITS :)

Coretta said...

Okay, there is definitely silliness going on over here. :) Found you on SITS.

Jen said...

Eva, too funny...geeze...you gave me an idea....I have peppermint shnops , I've had for a while....mmmmmmm pepper mint patties!! Thanks for your vocab words too.!!I loved how you " finished" things around the house!!!!lol

Pat said...

What a simple solution: Finish all the things we started. Huh. Who knew? Well what if we started TOO MUCH SHIT? HUH? HOW ABOUT THAT DOCTOR PHIL?

Oh. Sorry. I guess I'm feeling a little stressed out. I guess I should start with finishing those opened bottles of wines. Hee hee.

Claudia said...

ok - convinced - i immediately will have a look for the things in the house, i have started and never finished...gonna be a nice evening...lol

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I agree with Pat! Dr. Phil has no idea how many projects I've started around here over the years. Frankly, if I really needed peace, I'd throw away a bunch of them. Finish them all? Bad advice, Dr. Phil. I'll take my sweet time, thank you very much.

tsonodablog said...

Love that "finished" list. My kinda list. Tickled my funny bone this morning.

Thanks!
Terri

Sofia's Ideas said...

OMGosh! LMAO!!! Seriously, I think I peed my pants! That was hysterical and completely unexpected!

My kids keep coming over asking me what is so funny and I can't even explain!

THANK YOU for the comic relief! :)

So glad we found each other! :)

Eva Gallant said...

Nayeli: Glad you got a needed laugh!

Jen: There you go! Hop to it!

Terri: Glad I tickled you! lol

Sofia: I'm glad, too!

Unknown Mami said...

This got me laughing right away.