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Friday, April 30, 2010

Happy Birthday to my Sister!

Today is my beautiful sister's 70th birthday.  Let me just say here, she is an awesome person.  I've mentioned this on an earlier post, so some of you may think it sounds familiar.   But for the benefit of anyone who didn't read that earlier post here goes:

Jeannine was the 6th of 7 children (I'm number 7, so she'll always be older than I am!) and was a real cutie as a toddler as the photo below of her and our brother Larry will attest.

She caught the eye of a military man while he was homeon leave, when she was only about 14 and he was 21.  He decided then and there that this was the girl he wanted to marry--without ever even having spoken to her.  When she was 18 and he was 25, he asked her out.  I guess she thought he was pretty cute, too, because they were married about a year later.

They built a life together that included seven kids of their own.  They "matured" together; I could never say they grew old together...they stayed young and in love together!

They were married for  48  years and still would be today, had her husband Armand not been taken seriously ill and passed away a couple of years ago.  Their love, their marriage, and their family are an inspiration to me.  They raised such wonderful, caring children who now have families of their own.

So, today, Jeannine is 70 years young, and her energy, humor, and spirit are still an inspiration.

We are celebrating her birthday Tuesday in a very special way, lovingly planned by her children.  I will share the details of that celebration in words and pictures on one of my posts next week!

It will be the last time I share with her for a while, because she recently sent me this email of her plans.



I want to let you know that this will be my last e-mail for a while. Life is getting shorter and shorter every day, and I want to take time to see this great country of ours. So...I bought a motor cycle, going to quit e-mailing jokes and travel full time with a biker gang to see the country and enjoy life while I still can. Don't worry about me - they all seem like really nice people!

Photo of the gang ...

AND NO, YOU CAN'T COME!!!!!

In response, I say, "Ride on, Sis!  Go for the Gusto!  Or at least the 3rd one from the left!  They don't appear concerned that you've logged more mileage than their bikes!  I can just hear that Harley engine revving up now........................

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Throwback Thursday All Thrown Out.

I've pretty much run out of old photos to post on Throwback Thursday, so I'm looking for a new Meme.  Any suggestions?  I thought of Thursday Treasures and Treats--I'd post photos of People I consider to be gorgeous to look at;  or Thursday Thunderation--posts and/or photos of things that really annoy me;  or Thursday Thumbing--posts and/or posts about places I'd like to visit.

Any Thursday Thoughts for me?

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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Color of Deprivation

I seem to remember back in high school experiencing some pressure to "put out," if you know what I mean. (Remember, we're talking the EARLY sixties, here.)  Having been raised in God-fearing Catholic homes, and having had 12 years of C.C.D. (Confraternity of Christin Doctrine) classes pounded into our heads, my close girlfriends and I lived in fear of the wrath of God if we failed to be anything but "pure in heart, word, thought, and deed!"
One girlfriend of mine, who had attended parochial school, used to tell us stories of the nuns warning the adolescent girls that they must keep their legs crossed at all times, "so the Holy Ghost wouldn't come to them." (Apparently they didn't feel immaculate conceptions to be a rare occurance!) She also shared with us that when dancing, we must "leave room for the Holy Ghost!"  (There's something contradictory about those two adminitions.)  In any case, is it any wonder that many high school boys suffered from unrequited lust?


Such circumstances required creativity on the part of said boys. It was not unusual if a boy were to get to the point of passionate kisses with a girl (and maybe slipping her a little tongue), for him to push for more intimate favors. Logical arguments would be presented; "other girls are doing it;" "if you really loved me, you would," and when all else failed, horror stories of great pain caused by bloated testicles
which could become discolored.
At the time, most of us girls didn't give much credence to those arguments, including the last one!  Of course, that was the only one that had any validity to it...I mean there is such a condition as vascocongestion; however, I'm sure most teen boys were able to beat that problem on their own.  As for the technicolor aspect of the situation, I never took it seriously until I saw this photo the other day:


Maybe there really is some truth to the term "blue balls."

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Monday, April 26, 2010

Thinking Green in the Loo


According to TreeHugger, the media outlet that likes to consider themselves as the "one stop shop for green news, solutions, and product information," we use 36.5 billion rolls of toilet paper per year. That's a lot of wiping! To make matters worse, Allen Hershkowitz, senior scientist with the Natural Resources Defense Council, says, "Using toilet paper from virgin wood is worse for the environment than driving a Hummer." Apparently millions of trees and hundreds of thousands of gallons of water are used in the paper-making preocess.


                                                                                                                      Photo by Don Treeger / The Republican
Flo and Rich Newman pose with some of the items from their toilet paper collection.

I never knew there was so much interest in toilet tissue. In Amherst, Massachusetts there is The Toilet Paper Museum. I encourage you to click on that link--you won't believe it.

And then of course, celebrities feel compelled to excrete their opinions on the matter. Cheryl Crow tells us on her website that Charmin's research indicates that the average person uses 8.5 squares of toilet tissue per "sitting," or a total of 57 squares per day. She proposes that we cut back to two squares per "incident." I'm sure some congressman in Washington will see fit to get legislation passed to that effect....not sure how they would monitor and enforce that one! Maybe everyone would have a "sheet counter" installed on each toilet tissue dispenser in their home which would be wired into their local police station's computer's. Pity the poor patrolman on the "t.p. beat"--talk about a crappy job!





A fellow by the name of Josh Madison did an analysis of his personal use of toilet paper over the course of a year, keeping track of how much he used in the average week, the cost, etc. Click here to check that out!





Right about now, whether saving money or the environment is your concern, you're probably wondering what the politically correct method of using toilet paper is and how can you use less. Well, folks, have no fear:  below is a video on how to correctly and economically wipe!





And if that doesn't help you save conserve sufficiently, here's one that shows you the correct way to use just ONE square!




Aw, hell, maybe a bidet is the answer! Squat and splash, rinse and run!


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A New Pleasure Hunt Tool???

I got all excited the other day when I saw that Barnes & Noble had come out with the Nook eReader.  At last, I thought, a tool to help me in the Pleasure Hunt, my elusive search for the G-spot!  What else would you expect a product called a Nook e reader to do?

As it turns out, I was all wet (not pun intended!).  The Nook eReader is Barnes & Nobles answer to Amazon's Kindle (which, it turns out, has nothing to do with starting a campfire, either!)

 I'm just so confused by this new technology.  What strange names to give gadgets which are nothing but computerized book carriers.  I'm sure these are great products,  but I was really hoping they finally had come up with an answer to the G-Spot dilemma!

By the way, I am being featured on Midday Escapades today.  I hope you'll click here and skip on over and pay Lynn's blog a visit, and maybe learn a little about me in the process.

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

Unknown Mami hosts a post called, "sundays in my city."  Everyone is encouraged to share seomething about their city or town and visit other bloggers towns as well.  Click here to got to her site and check out other bloggers "digs."



Church attendance is on the decline in this country;  according to a Gallup study, Mississippi has the highest percentage of residents who attend weekly or nearly every week at 63%.  Vermont has the lowest attendance percentage at 23%.  Maine is not far behind Vermont at 27%.  The national average is somewhere around 42%.
Nationally, the number of churchgoers over all has been declining according to Religious Tolerance.org, with the exception of the Wiccan religion which seems to be doubling it's numbers every 30 months.

I only provide the information above as background for the following:

These properties are for sale:

St. Patrick's Church in Lewiston, Maine.....List price $499,000




St. Joseph's Church in Lewiston, Maine.......List price  $425,000.
And this Church and School Facility in Ellsworth, Maine......List price $2,800,000.

There's something sad about these beautiful old buidings having outlived their original  purposes.  And I'm sure there are many more, across the state and across the country.  It's like an era is passing.  I'm not saying everyone needs to rush back to church; I'm no longer a church goer.  And like many, it doesn't mean I'm not religious or spiritual in my way.  I believe and I pray, I just don't feel the need of the brick and mortar structures and the rites and rituals to expresss my beliefs.

Blessing to you all.

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Saturday, April 24, 2010

Some Saturday Silliness


After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"

And there was such a hush you could hear a pin drop.

Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I toldyou a hundred times...What we have is Blue Cross!”




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An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,

'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.  'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.
He met Nurse Tracy.

 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'

'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'

'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'


***********************



A Wife asks her Husband, How many

Women have you slept with?

Husband proudly replies, Only You, Darling-With all the Others, I was awake!

Hospital Visiting Hours are: 10am - 4pm.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! 
(This was set to publish at 12:15 am....don't know what happened!
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Friday, April 23, 2010

Canine Freestyle

I recieved this UTube video and email and just had to share it!  Prepare to be amazed if you have not yeat seen this segment of Britain's Got Talent!





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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Throwback Thursday 1958

Here's Hubby's high school graduation picture.  The photo was in rough shape, which caused that shadow on the right side of his chin.  This was way long before I ever met him.  He was still pretty cute back then!

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Memorable Quotes

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..


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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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(no photo found)


"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?

*************************************

Big News:
I am being featured at LOL today. Laffy Lady is giving my post The Pleasure Hunt another turn in the spotlight. Some of my regular followers my remember this one--me searching for the ever elusive G-spot. If you don't remember it, or even if you do, stop over at LOL (Laugh Out Loud) ; she claims to be featuring "the best of the sit down comedians."  Click here to visit her blog.


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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Another One Bites the Dust!

Hubby is devastated.  After he went to Walmart and stocked up on hedge clippers, super glue and sequins, was ready to order business cards with the "Jazz up your VaJayJay the Gallant Way," and was getting his advertisers lined up, we discovered this PG video:



And further research found this comment on Chrissy, Queen of F**king Everything's blog:

"DIY Vajazzling.

Why pay $50 bucks to have a stranger touch your pubicals, when I can do it with stickers I got at Christmas Tree Shops for $1?"

(note: follow this link only if you are not easily offended; Chrissy does not treat the subject as gingerly as I do! And I'm serious here. I felt I need to give credit to where I found the info, but Chrissy does not mince words.)



So, Hubby's big money-making idea bites the dust!  And if he's not in the Vajazzling business, I'm not likely to get any Dickorating referrals. 

Back to the drawing board!
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Monday, April 19, 2010

VaJazzling: Who Knew???

Okay, where the heck have I been??  I missed this new fad altogether.  It wasn't until I visited Bombshell Bliss on Saturday morning that I learned about VaJazzling.  There are actually ladies out there who pay to have a bikini wax and then add an assortment of Swarowski crystals.  (Not to be confused with ordinary rhinestones that you could get at Walmart; after all, if you're going to adorn your hoo-hah entrance with a blingy figleaf or something for $115 to $750, you want the real goods!)

In case any of you were as in the dark on the subject as I was, I've posted a video (no crotch shots!) of Jennifer Love Hewitt babbling about her bedazzled  but bare bush below:




Well, my reaction to the idea of a crystal crotch would be a concern about suffering from itchy couchie!

Meanwhile, my Hubby jumped on this! (the idea, not Jennifer Love Hewitts vajazzled vajay!).  He's decided that southern Maine needs a vajazzling venue, and he's wanted an interesting part-time retirement career.  He's gone to Walmart to pick up some hedge clippers, paint brushes, sequins, and super glue so he can start raking in the dough!  (Sequins?  Mainers aren't so snobby as to demand the high end stuff),

In my mind this whole trend can only lead to one thing:  Dickorating!  (Hubby says if it comes to that, he'll leave that part of the business in my hands!)



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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

If you're in my neck of the woods and you're hankering for pizza, this is the place!
The name of the place is Portland Pie Company.  They have one location in Portland, one in Westbrook, and this one is in Scarborough in The Gateway shopping plaza near Cabela's.
The specialty is Pizza, but they also have appetizers, calzones, sandwiches, pasta, and desserts.
The atmosphere is casual and relaxed.  The lack of acoustic materials in the ceiling make for a boisterous sound level, but it's a great family restaurant.
There are two dining areas connected by archways in a brick wall, with a fireplace between the archways.  The second dining area has a full bar and a room full of elevated tables surrounded by bar stools.  And despite the wall decoration above the fireplace, venison was not a choice on the menu!
We started of with a mixed green half-salad.  The full salad must be huge, because the half was a generous serving containing various greens, red onions, mushrooms, cucumbers, tomatoes, and broccoli.
We followed the salad with an appetizer of honey-barbeque pork wings.  Yeah, pigs fly here in Maine.  The "wings" were approximately one incb cubes of pork ribs with the bone still in, with carrot sticks and ranch dressing on the side.  They were yummy; I definitely would order them again.   (Sorry the photo is a little blurry.)
                 
We chose the Old Orchard Pizza which came with roasted red peppers, green peppers, mushrooms, and artichoke hearts.  (We decided to skip the artichoke hearts, not being fans of artichoke in general and not wanting them polluting our pizza.  It was as good as it looks!  I had been craving pizza, as we've been trying to eat healthier and it had been weeks since we'd had any.  A little pepperoni and sausage would have been delicious, but we tried to be reasonably good.
I know where I'm going the next time the urge for pizza hits me!  Maybe I'll see you there?


For a more detailed review of Portland Pie Co., visit my other site: 
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/575306/eva_gallant.html


Note:  I was not compensated in anyway for this review.  Just sharing info with you.


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