Not TOO Bizarre Men's Undies!

After all the Bizarre Brassieres   about which I have written , I thought it was time I give men their due.  Sorry to say, men's bizarre undies are pretty much x-rated,  and I do try to keep this blog rated P-G13, for the most part, anyway 

I will say that after extensive research,  I've come to the conclusion that the old boxers I remember and the tighty-whiteys (which Hubby still wears) are definitely out of date!  Fun has come to men's undies!  I don't know when this happened...I must have slept through it.  Of course, the last vision I have of men's undergarments (other than my husband's)  was more than 30years ago.  Apparently the trend toward fun appeared sometime between then and now. 

There's a variety of choices out there today for guys:

These are conservative, but still stylish without being too giddy.

Perhaps you want to send a playful messge to your mate?  If so, there are many messages from which to choose!

Maybe a little School Marm fantasy is your idea of fun.

Maybe you are a prisoner of love?

Or maybe you just want to  play "doctor?"

All of the above men's undergarments are all called "trunks."  They look to me like a cross between the old bexers and the tighty-whiteys.

There are choices for those among you fellows who are more daring:

These are called briefs...and they are very!  This style also comes in a number of colors and prints, depending on how much fun in your undies you can tolerate!

There still more choices available, but for me to post them here would be in questionable taste--and my taste has never been questioned!  I'm not about to start now. 

If you are curious about these selections, then the men's underwear  site  is waiting.

Hope you've enjoyed my sneak peek into the modern man's draws!  (Dresser draws!  Geez, where is your mind??)
  

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What Did You Look For In A Man?

When a woman is 22, she has a list of things she wants in a man:

Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)


1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5.. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6.. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5. Remembers why he's laughing

6.. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. BREATHING

2. DOESN'T MISS THE TOILET

Which may mean there's hope for most guys, as long as they aren't too picky about a woman's age!

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Where Are They Now?

Have you ever wondered what has become of our childhood favorites?


Well, Barbie Doll has her 50th birthday this year!

                             Tweety bird is is 60 years old!

                          And there's our childhood super heroes!   
                                                                       
                                                                       Superman

                                                              Thor

       Wonderwoman (a touch of menopause here, you think?)

                                                        Batman and Robin

                                                                  Spiderman

Looks like this aging process is getting us all!   No one is exempt!  Least of all, me!


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Disaster Protection Needs a Second Look!

You may recall a few weeks ago I published a post about Bizarre Brassieres.  Little did I know that the best was yet to come!  There's a new bra in town; it's called the Emergency Bra, and the video below tells you all about it:



This is real.  There is even an E-Bra website where the lingerie can be purchased by the prudent and the paranoid on line.  I have given this some thought, and I forsee some problems with this "personal protection device." 

According to Dr. Bodnar, who was inspired to create this invention as a result of her experiences as a young doctor studying the victims of the Chernobyl nuclear meltdown, it only takes 5 seconds to unhook, remove the garment, separate the cups, reconfigure the cups as masks, and actually don the mask. 

I would be a little nervous trusting the support of my girls to a bra that unclasps so easily.  Consider the possiblilty of a brassiere malfunction:  If a non-emergency opening occurred, unleashing the girls while I'm anywhere near water, there could be a resulting tsunami!  (Not to mention the creation of a sinkhole if this occurred on land.!) 

And then there's the whole "choosing a second survivor" aspect.  Will men be reduced to begging to be saved?  Will only women who wear the E-Bra get dates?  (Who's going to want to chance a disaster occurring with an E-Braless broad beside them?) 

Will men with large heads only want women with double-D boobs?  Will Triple A breasted women be unable to provide protection in an emergency and therefore be shunned as companions?  (And is this any different than things are now?) 

Will there be spontaneous auctions, where men are forced to frantically bid against each other for the price of salvation?  (Any such auction could negate the value of the bra, as the potential buyers will have been breathing contaminated air while bidding and may die anyway.)

This is becoming mind-boggling!  Will men be so desperate to survive that they will be willing to stuff their faces into sweat-scented masks?  Let's be real; not all ladies are particular about their hygiene, and not all anti-perspirant/deodorants can be counted on to hold up in a crisis.  (I mean, what if she's not using the product that's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?)  Will an unfragrant female be found liable if a fellow dies because he couldn't stand the smell?

No, my friends.  The E-Bra is not the ultimate safety solution.  This protective personal device may open Pandora's box, so to speak.  More problems may be uncovered than unravelled; more flaws found than disasters averted. 

We need to step back and really think this through.  Maybe someone needs to create a "Calamity Cup" for men--one that could as easily cover the probiscus as  the penis.   Get working on this someone, before a disaster occurs!




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Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

There is a restaurant in Lewiston, Maine, about an hour away from my house called, Marco's Restorante Italiano.  It's been around for about 40 years, but is now in a brand new building, thanks to a fire that destroyed the old building in 2004. 

The place has beautiful dining and banquet rooms, a full bar, and an extensive wine list.  The specialty, as you would expect, is Italian fare, and the chefs do it really well.  There are other choices on the menu for those who would prefer American or vegetarian, but when we go to an Italian restaurant, we want Italian food! 

We started with salads with the house creamy Italian dressing that were consumed before I could get my camera out of it's case.  From there on, however, I did manage to document the dishes.

Hubby chose the Chicken Cacciatore, which was in a delicious marinara sauce, served over linguine.  Lots of chicken, mushrooms, and peppers....hmmm   mmmm!

 I opted for the Sausage and Chicken Siciliano.  Slices of sweet Italian sausage and chunks of tender, moist chicken, mushrooms, onions, red and green peppers in a perfect marinara sauce on linguine, with melted Italian cheeses on top.

 

 Our friends both went with Lasagna--layers of meat, cheese, and pasta, smothered in a homemade tomato sauce and also topped with melted Italian cheeses.  I'd be hard pressed to choose between the Lasagna and the dish I had on my next visit!

 A basket of crusty, fresh Italian bread was refilled happily at our request, and olive oil and parmesean cheese were available for dipping.

 We  stopped halfway through our entrees and asked for take-home boxes so we could try their tempting desserts.  Our friend chose the Tiramisu.

 Hubby wanted to try the Mud Pie.....not too shabby!

Our friend's wife and I chose the Pecan Praline Truffle;  it's served with whipped cream on top and is basically a chocolate coated scoop of Pecan Praline ice cream, with chocolate sauce drizzled all over the plate.  I don't care for whipped cream on ice cream, so I passed, but my friend went all out and had a good-sized dollop of whipped cream on her Truffle.  The chocolate shell was frozen hard and difficult to break into, but definitely worth the effort!

I suspect we'll be back to Marco's for more Italian goodness soon!  If  you are curious and want to know more about Marco's, or peruse their menu, they have a website:  http://www.marcositalian.com/index.htm



P.S.   Click here to read about Wrestling With Retirement T-shirts!

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Saturday Silliness

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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so, I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked.. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini,""You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care


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A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his friend is very well endowed.

"Damn, Bob, you're hung!"  Jim exclaims..

"I wasn't always this impressive; I had to work for it."

"What do you mean?" Jim asked.
"Well, every day for the past two years, I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter. I know it sounds crazy but it actually made it grow 4 inches! You should try it."

Jim agrees and the two depart.   A few months later the two are back in the same locker room and Bob asks Jim how his situation was.

Jim replied, "I did what you said, Bob, but I've actually gotten smaller! I lost two inches already!"

"Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?"

"Well, we don't use butter, so I've been using Crisco."
Wait for it ..........

Wait ...........

You know it's coming...

"Crisco!!  Bob exclaimed. Damm it, Jim, Crisco is shortening!"


MORAL OF THE STORY: You gotta follow the recipe & men don't listen!


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A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started.

After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.

On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.

On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, "On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road." "Can I ask you, what is the problem?"

"Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can."


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I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

Buzz Aldrin


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Wrestling With Retirement T-Shirts

I have had suggestions from a couple of people that I should sell T-Shirts with my logo on them, as they would make great Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, retirement party gifts, etc.

I've decided to take orders for them.  Shirts are available in Ladies T's come in M, L, XL, 2XL, and 3XL.  Men's are available in M, L, XL, 2XL, and 3XL. Both shirts are available in white only, 100% pre-shrunk cottn.   I need to take orders first to see how many people are interested.  I will be adding a paypal button on my blog so you will be able to pay be credit card, debit card, or paypal account.  Because payment will be handled by paypal on a secure website, your card information will be protected. 

This is the Ladies T-Shirt.  Sizes M, L, andXL are $22.00;  2XL and 3XL are $25.00
This is the Men's T-Shirt.  Sizes and prices are the same on both men's and ladies' and include shipping and handling charges, within the contiguous United States.  I will ship outside the U.S., but the buyer will need to pay shjpping charge.

(My blog address is underneath the logo, in case you can't read it here.)


Please let me know if you will be interested in ordering a shirt (or more, if you choose!)  This is an effort to determine if there is enough interest to make offering the shirts  worthwhile.   I will set up paypal and take actual orders after I find out if enough people are interested.  (You are not making a commitment today, but please only respond yes if you really will be wanting a shirt.  If you prefer to keep your information (number of shirts and sizes private, feel free to send me the information on email at  evag@maine.rr.com.   )

My designer at GMAC Graphics did a great job on the logos, and I hope you like them.  Think about it.  Are you retired?  Is someone in your family or circle of friends retired or retiring?  Maybe you know someone who has a family member retiring who might like to order one?  One of these shirts  would make an excellent fun gift to give them! Let me know by commenting or by email if you will be ordering , size, and how many.   Thanks.

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My Bark Could Result In His Bite.

I'm just not that into him.  I don't know how to tell him--his lifestyle is just not for me.  Frankly, "hanging around" with him gives me a headache.  I'm too old; I'm ready to go to sleep about the time he's ready to fly!  I don't like flying.   I decided years ago I was done with house pets (it's that whole guano-grabber-cooper thing...turns me off); the only things red I enjoy drinking are wine, cranberry martinis,  and fruit punch.   Then there's the immortality part--I'm not sure I even buy that! 

The attention is flattering, but how do I break it off gently so the relationship doesn't come back to bite me? I just don't know. Any ideas?






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Is THIS My Bride???

As if young girls didn't already have enough unhealthy images out there, what with the Kate Moss-type models bodies,  and the Paris Hilton and the Lindsay Lohan drug busts, now we have a new reality show to throw in the mix!

Don't get me wrong.  I have nothing against reality shows, in fact, some of them are my guilty pleasures.  I love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Biggest Loser, even Bachelor Pad and Dating in the Dark had me watching.  I know there's little reality in these reality shows, but they entertain me.

The new one coming though, gives me pause.  "Bridalplasty" will feature 12 engaged women living in a mansion together and "competing in wedding-themed challenges."  The series hostess will be former Playboy model, Shanna Moakler.  Each week, one of the girls will be voted off and the winner will be the recipient of plastic surgery procedures from each contestant's wish list.  It's not clear how many procedures the winner will recieve.  Her "extreme makeover" will be revealed to her groom at the altar, when he lifts her veil. 

This could be a real shocker for the poor guy!  I suppose there are lots of guys out there who would be thrilled to have their girlfriends get tummy tucks, butt lifts, or  boob or nose jobs, but all of the above?  Wouldn't it be like marrying a stranger?

And for the young girls out there, the message comes across again that you're just not good enough, thin enough, pretty enough as you are.  I think that is a disservice to our young women. Another concern is that surgical procedures don't always turn out as planned, and don't always improve things.  Look at the following photos of celebrities who've had procedures, and one would assume had the means to hire the best surgeons:

Brittany Murphy

Barry Manilow

Dolly Parton

Priscilla Presley

I don't know this lady's name, but she appeared on Dr. Phil Show a while back; she is addicted to plastic surgery and has had dozens upon dozens of procedures...    Fellas out there--how would you like to flip the veil back and discover this was your new bride on your wedding day?


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Big Brother is Watching!

I feel like Big Brother is watching me, and I'm okay with it.  I'm more than okay with it, I'm downright lulled into euphoria!  If I get lost, Big Brother is there for me; if I get into a jam, I can count on Big Brother to help me out;  and if I need the assistance of law enforcement, Big Brother is all over it!

How can this be, you ask?  My Big Brother is "Onstar."  You may recall I recently blogged about my car buying experience.   The car I purchased came equipped with Onstar which is a feature comparable to Big Brother, without the negative connotations.  Well, without most of them.*

 I'm still adjusting to technology, being a "senior citizen"  and all, so I am completely blown away by the capabilities of this "gadget."  The feature that's been most touted on tv is the "automatic crash response." If I am in a car accident, my built in crash sensors automatically alert an Onstar advisor who is immediately connected to my vehicle and asks if I am okay and if I need assistance.  Emergency help is dispatched and the police are contacted., even if I'm unconcious and unable to respond. 

There was a case in the news last winter of a girl who's car slid off the road on ice over an embankment and was out of sight of passing traffic.  Both of her legs were broken and she was trapped in the wreck for 11 days before she was found.  Onstar would have been huge in her case.   I am comforted knowing that with my "Big Brother" standing by, this couldn't happen to me.  (Not that I couldn't be in that type of crash, but that with Onstar able to locate my car by satellite and dispatch help, I wouldn't be stranded for days.  I can't imagine what that poor girl went through!)

If I'm not in an accident but need emergency assistance for some other reason, there is an emergency button on my rearview mirror that I can use to summon help.  The red button with the white cross under the mirror pictured above as there if I need it. 

 Never again do I have to drive and hold my cell phone at the same time.  My Onstar has bluetooth capability.  If my phone is in the car and it rings while I'm driving, my radio is automatically muted, and the phone ring comes through my radio speakers.  I have an answer button and hang up button on the steering wheel and can answer the phone and have a conversation without taking my hands off the wheel!  And, if I forget my cell phone, there's a phone built into the Onstar service!

I no longer have to have a G.P.S. because I now have "Big Brother " to tell me where to go.....whoops, that came out wrong!  I call Onstar and an advisor answers, "Hello, Eva.  Where can I direct you today?"  Once I give an address, I receive turn by turn navigational directions to my destination. 

Locked out of my car?  No problem.  I have a sticker on the window with an 800 number I can call, and once I have given the password, my car doors are unlocked remotely by Onstar.  Not only that, if I report my car stolen, Onstar will assist the police in locating my car.  Once the police have it in sight, the Onstar advisor has the capability of slowing my car down and stopping it, regardless of what the thief might have in mind!  (That's one of the safety features that gets me a discount on my car insurance.)  My car even sends me emails telling me my tire pressure, fluid levels, etc.

I know I must sound like a commercial for Onstar.  No, I haven't been compensated for this post.  I'm just so excited about my car's "Big Brother" capabilities that I can't help sharing it!    This new technology is wonderful and I hope all cars will have it available in some form eventually! 

*There is one feature which might be regarded as negative to some; Onstar has the capability of monitoring conversations and activities in the automobile without my being aware of it.  But since no drug deals are going down in my car, and since hubby and I aren't likely to be doing the horizontal mambo in the car anytime soon, I doubt that anyone would be very interested in listening in on us!

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Newfie Fun Days

A while back I did a post about my Newfoundland dog.   Having owned two Newfies in my life, I really have a soft spot for them.  Oh, and as a little aside. you don't really own Newfies:  they own you!  Our last Newfoundland, Barkley, weighed 216 pounds.  And he still thought of himself as a lap dog! 

Because of that fondness Hubby and I have for Newfies, when we read in the paper that Newfie Fun Days were being held in Eliot, Maine, a town about 40 minutes away, we knew we had to go.  It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed seeing dozens of these beautiful, gentle animals.  (Without having to pick up their doo-doo or wipe up their drool!)  There are variations of the breed:  the original Newfoundland dogs are black; there are black and white ones, called Landseers; I had never seen the brown ones; and also present was a Grand Pyranees which is an all white Newfie twin.  I suspect the Landseer may be a result of Newfies doing the deed with Grand Pyranees.  (That's purely speclulation on my part...don't quote me!  I don't mean to sully any dog's reputation here,)

Newfie Fun Days are an annual event where Newfie owners get together and show off their dogs, learn about the breed, and see some of the things that the dogs can do.  There was an event call "carting," where the dogs are harnessed and hitched to wagons and walke through an obstacle course, with a young passenger aboard.  Newfies are working dogs by nature, and most of them love doing this, once they have had a little experience with it.  Another event was the water trials.  Newfies have webbed feet, are great swimmers and are capable of rescue activities.  There were demonstrations of how a Newfie can do a "wet fetch"  (my term, not theirs)--retrieve a life preserver pillow tossed in the water.  Another pulled a boat to shore with a rope.

The slide show below is a series of photos I took that day.  I apologize that I couldn't figure out how to change the color of the captions, so some of them are difficult to read.  Hopefully that won't detract from your enjoyment of the pictures.  If you click on the little square made of arrows at the lower left of the window, you can enlarge the photos to full screen; they lose a little of their sharpness, but it's great to be able to see how huge these pets are.   Enjoy!



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Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

I'm stretching "my neck of the woods" a little today.  I'm featuring a restaurant in Harrisville, Rhode Island.  It's called Wright's Farm Restaurant.  I have been to this restaurant probably a dozen times over the past 40 years.  It is located in the northwest corner of Rhode Island at 84 Inman Road.  The one thing you can count on at this place is consistency;  as I said, I've been there maybe a dozen times with sometimes 4 or 5 years between visits, yet the meal is always the same, always fresh, always delicious.  I would visit much more often, but it's about 2 hours from my house!  (Yet there have been a couple of times when we've actually just driven there for lunch!)

The place has several dining rooms and can seat 1200 diners...yes twelve hundred!  Wright's employs 180 people, and has 75 ovens in their two kitchens. 

The place is huge!  There are two bars and lounges, should you have to wait for a table.  The day we were there, the New England Patriots had a home game, and the waitress said that always decreases their customer count.  We were seated immediately.  From the looks of the parking lot, not everyone was at the Patriots' game!

If you are looking for variety, this is not the place for you.  They serve one meal, and do it with perfection.  Food is served family style--they bring bowls to the table, and keep bringing them until you cry, "Uncle!" because you are full.  No one needs to leave Wright's Farm hungry!

 (I apologize that the photos aren't clearer....I guess I was hurrying because I was hungry and couldn't wait to dig in!)  We started with tossed salad with Writght's own Italian dressing.

 Wonderful homemade rolls with butter!

 Pasta shells with the delicious house marinara sauce--yummy!

(Wow, that one was really a blur)  Fresh cut french fries...a treat worth driving there for themselves!

And lots of succulent baked chicken, both breasts and legs.  There's no waiting.  Because that's the only meal on the menu, the kitchen just keeps putting it out there, and your food is brought to your table almost immediately.

When you get a little of everything on your plate, it looks like this!  My mouth is watering just remembering the taste of everything!  All of that for around $10.00 per person;  and don't forget, they keep refilling the bowls as many times as you'd like!  We had enough with the original servings, but many around us had seconds and thirds.

This chicken border is in all the dining rooms, and there's also a huge gift shop on the premises!

This New England Patriot meets you at the door of the gift shop.  The day we were there, they were having a special fudge sale.  Buy a pound and get a quarter pound free!  How could I resist such a deal?  We had some chocolate walnut, penuche walnut, and chocolate peanut butter--all of which were to die for!  I think the penuche was my favorite, even though I love chocolate dearly.  It was just that good!

Sadly, we said goodbye to Wrights, until the next time.  You may want to visit their website to learn more about them--it's Wrights Farm Restaurant.

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