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Friday, January 21, 2011

Cold is Relative

Different parts of the country respond differently to changes in the weather.  I'm in Maine.

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Maine plant gardens.


60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe. 

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Maine have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Maine close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Maine get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door-to-door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Bostonians get upset because they can't start their snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Maine start saying...'Cold enough for ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late.

Wish I could take credit for this; once again, it came in my email, no author given

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32 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Ha! Excellent. And so true.

Love, Utah

MAFW said...

I totally agree!

She Writes said...

Your final one got me. But I recognize when people are not from around here by how they dress. Coat in 67 degrees! Really? That's warm in my neck of the woods.

Wanderlust said...

"People in Miami all die" ROFL!!

Vodka Logic said...

Too funny, I may not be as north as you but I do relate.

Love it.

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

My favorite was 20 above zero.

Anonymous said...

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Crystal Jigsaw said...

Being an English northerner, we have terrible weather. I live near the Scottish borders where we get horrendous north easterly winds, biting and raw.

I think I could cope with Maine!!
Great post.
CJ xx

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Brian Miller said...

ha. so at what temp do you stop wearing shorts...

DJan said...

Yes, it certainly is relative. Up here when the temperature hits 30 I do feel cold, but I remember in Colorado (where it is so dry) I wouldn't feel it at all and wouldn't even button up my jacket! Good post!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Currently minus 25 in Winnipeg, so I'm thinking of lying outside for a bit to get some rays.

It was -33 the other morning. I believe I invented a new curse word.

You Maine people are pussies. :)

glnroz said...

you forgot to mention Texas,
Around 72 - Schools and all government offices call a holiday.

Apron Senorita said...

Hi, just blog hopping to wish you a wonderful weekend.

New follower, Yoli :)
Apron Senorita

Entre Nous said...

This is hilarious, I'm sending the link to friends in NH :}}

Out of My Mind said...

Thanks for sharing! Should not have read this until AFTER I went to the bathroom.

Did you see that I put your button on my blog page.
I think you are a HOOT! And, I want others to know about what a treasure you are! kt

Michelle Saunderson said...

Too funny. Glad I am in Florida!

natalee said...

LOL!!! sooo true.... cold is relative... when we went to disney it was 60 degrees.. we had shorts floridians had winter coats....LOL

Elenka said...

ha ha, except for today....schools closed again. Not because of the cold, tho.

Pearl said...

You can also substitute the word "Maine" with "Minnesota" and get the same truth!
\
:-)

Pearl

EmptyNester said...

Maybe I'll rethink how much I wish I lived in Maine. LOL

Sandra said...

You are brillian!
...and I'm still laughing out loud at the "people in Miami may die!"...so true! I'm pretty sure with the temps we are experiencing where I live (and we get it for a solid 2 months of the year) people in Miami would kill themselves.

rosaria said...

Yeah! Now, when I visit California in the winter, the sixty plus weather lets me sunbathe while everyone else is wearing their warm woolies.

The Constant Complainer said...

Great post. I live in Cleveland. It's not below zero, but it's still effing cold here. LOL. We're probably around where you identified that the people in Miami would die.

tsonodablog said...

I was whining about living in Las Vegas, but I'm gonna stop now. LOL

Brrrrrr

K A B L O O E Y said...

That's hysterical. You are a toughie; I KNEW it. Then again, things are relative right here in my house. My guy goes to the post office in gym shorts and I'm inside in two sweaters. He sleeps on top of the blankets in skivvies, and I'm under them with thermals on and another comforter piled on top.

Nancy said...

Visiting from the blog hop. I'm so glad I found your blog.
Enjoy your weekend.
Nancy
http://discoverdirectselling.blogspot.com/

Eva Gallant said...

Veg: You are creative! Inventing a new curse word! I know it must be even colder where you are!

Glenn: Holiday at 72, huh? lol

EntresNous: Hope you NH friends enjoy it....there temps are pretty similar to ours!

OutofmyMind: Thanks for putting my button on your blog and for the kind words!

Michelle: If it doesn't stop snowing 3 times a week here, I'm going to wish I was in Florida!

Tropical: Thanks for sharing, glad you enjoyed my post. Come back soon!

SuChin: Glad you came here from Twitter; come again soon!

Constant: Seems like it's been effing cold everywhere north of Tennessee this winter!

Terri: Yeah, quit yer bitchin'! lol

Pastor Sharon said...

Well it was ZERO this morning at 7:30am when I started my SUV. It was FREEZING COLD! I had on several layers!

We live in the midwest and are used to snow white winters and nasty windchill factors. However, now that i have read this, I know I shall not wish to live in Maine! BRRRRR

Clipped Wings said...

You are so extremely funny. When I lived in Colorado Springs, people would wear shorts when it was 40 degrees. I couldn't quite do that, being a transplant. I had to wait until temperatures reached 50 degrees hot.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I want to move to Maine