Followers

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Saturday Silliness

MONEY LEFT UNDER THE PILLOW 

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

 The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

 "$10. a pill," answered the son.

 "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. Later the next morning, the son found  $110 under the pillow.. He called Grandpa and said, "I told  you each pill was $10, not $110."

 "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma. "

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A drunk man got on to a bus late one night, staggered up the aisle, and slumped down next to an elderly woman.
She looked the man sternly and said, "I've got news for you young man - you're going straight to hell!"

The drunk man jumped up and screamed, "I'm on the wrong bus!"






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HOW TRADITIONS BEGIN

A newly married couple was preparing dinner together, a roast, and the man watched his new bride rub the roast with olive oil, sprinkle salt and pepper on it, then cut an inch off the right side of the roast and an inch off the left side, put it into a pan and put the pan in the oven. The man thought this was a bit strange, so he asked, "Honey, why did you just cut an inch off each side of the roast?"

His wife replied, "That's just how you make a roast. That's how my mother showed me to do it and I don't see any reason to change it." The man still didn't understand, but he thought, "If this is the strangest thing she does, I guess I can get used to it." He counted his blessings and let the matter drop.

A few weeks later, they were invited to her mother's house for dinner. She said, "I'm having a roast, I hope you like them." "Definitely," the man said. He thought, "Oh good, maybe now I'll find out where this business started."

When they arrived at his mother-in-law's house, the man went straight into the kitchen and asked if he could watch her prepare the meal. "Of course," she said, so he sat and watched her rub the roast with olive oil, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, cut an inch off the right side and an inch off the left side, put the roast in a pan and put it in the oven. He asked his mother-in-law, "Why did you cut an inch off each side of the roast?" She replied, "That's just how you make a roast."

The poor man was getting more and more baffled, but he enjoyed his dinner and they returned home.
A couple months passed, then they were invited to her grandmother's house for dinner. The man, determined as ever, called ahead and said, "Would you mind a special request for dinner? I'd really like to have a roast." She agreed and a few days later, they went to grandma's.

He asked if he could watch her prepare the meal and she said, "sure."  So he sat down and watched her rub olive oil on the roast, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, put it into a pan and put it in the oven.
He said, "Didn't you forget something?"

She said, "No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

He said, "You didn't cut an inch off each side of the roast before putting it in the pan."

She laughed and said, "Oh, that! I stopped doing that years ago."

"Why?"

"I got a bigger pan.!



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NEW WINE FOR SENIORS

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night sleep.

NEW Wine for Seniors--I kid you not...

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.


It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE.

I heard it through the grapevine!


Sorry!   Have a great rest of the weekend!

EVA 

15 comments:

River said...

Oh my god, I laughed out loud at the Pino More!!
And I love the laughing monkey.

Brian Miller said...

pino more...nice...that drunk was obviously on my bus...smiles. have a wonderful saturday...

EmptyNester said...

LOL!!! My dad and step mother AND my brother and SIL are here for the weekend and they haven't stopped laughing at these yet!

Al Penwasser said...

Reminds me of a joke (what doesn't?).........
1st Man (looking at his friend's bruised face): "Holy moley! What the hell happened to you?"
2nd Man (groaning): "I called my girlfriend a two-bit whore."
1st Man (amazed): "Yeah, so? Your face is a wreck!"
2nd man: "Well, she hit me with a bag of quarters."

Ba Dum Bum

She Writes said...

Pino more :)! I also loved the roast story. Much truth in that one! As for the pill fairy :)--EVA!

SherilinR said...

the viagra one was great.
the roast one seems oddly like something that could really happen. goes to show how often we follow directions without ever thinking for ourselves.

Mrs B said...

Loved them all, but I laughed out loud at "pino more"! I can't wait each week to check in on Saturday Silliness. Have a great weekend Eva!

Debbie said...

My favorite was the PINO MORE!!! Priceless!! You are a riot!

Lazarus said...

I really have no idea how you do it Eva; I've never heard any of these before and they were all funny, thanks!

Jen said...

Great ones ,Eva.....I love your smileys and cartoon pictures!!

rosaria said...

Not one, not two, but three or more jokes each time. PiNo More is brilliant.

tsonodablog said...

Man, I was totally buying the wine spiel....and then you zapped me. Pino More.
Still....not a bad idea.
Funny stuff. Love your Saturday silliness.

Eva Gallant said...

Debbie: I'd by it! More fun that Depends!

Jen: Thought I'd add the smileys for fun!

Rosaria: So glad you liked Pinot more!

Terri: Glad I gotcha!

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Funny stuff. I love your Saturdays!

Pat said...

I could use some of that Pino More!