Friday, April 1, 2011

Old Lady Moving

When I stare at my bare reflection,
I observe more than one objection.
Time and the table have not been kind
To either me or my behind!

Where I should have "six pack" abs,
I have a serious case of the "flabs;"
And my all too visible obliques
Are not what you'd really call " sleek."

My biceps have no strength
And my triceps have too much length!
And then there's my gluteus maximus--
 "Junk in my trunk" the size of a minibus!

I dragged myself to the gym
In hopes that I might get slim.
I know I should get fit,
Even though I'd rather sit.

I signed up for a class
I hope will trim my ass.
They call it "Silver Sneakers,"
And it's just for us old 'creakers."

The graying and the bald
All come, like we've been called,
To stretch and strain and sweat
Our way to a slight silhouette.

The Goddess of Pain issues commands
Involving these taut rubber bands;
If we want to be rid of the flabs,
We must suck in our abs!

She is so lithe and svelte,
We believe our fat will melt.
We hang on her every word
Like lemmings in  a herd!

 There is not one among us
Who'll be Venus or Adonis,
But we just might succeed in
Improving on our breathing.

All of that gyration
Will increase the circulation;
And amping up the heart rate
Just might delay our death date!

an Eva Gallant original



ethelmaepotter! said...

Hey, where'd you get that picture of me????!!! And just when I got up, too, wild red hair and all!

River said...

I look more like the second picture than the first, but give me time and I'll look just like the first...where's the doughnuts? Lead me to the couch...

Brian Miller said...

smiles. i love your poetry...
sounds like a fun class...

Kristina P. said...

You always know how to make me laugh. Those are some hot chicks!

tsonodablog said...

That was flabulous! Loved it. Your poetry is just wonderful, Eva. Keep 'em coming!

Janiece said...

always making me smile! said...

Never disappointed with my visits to you.
Have you been to my exercise class? I'm sure that last picture is of the woman behind me in kick boxing :)

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

THAT was effin' hilarious! You're adorable - any shape you are. :)

EmptyNester said...

Oh Eva! I love it! You were talking about me, right? LOL

Jen said...

Written like a real "SNEAKER"!!

Average Girl said...

You are one funny woman Eva!

Al Penwasser said...

With every program on TV
I see the man I used to be
A hearthrob to beat the band
An virile, potent Mega Man.

But now, my hair is growing thinner
I fall asleep in my dinner
My sex life was then, not now
So what DO I do with that blow-up cow?

The End

Great post!

natalee said...

Lol..... You kill me... Lol

Everyday Goddess said...

Excellent write! Gravity, schmavity!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

You're quite the poet Miss Gallant. Next you'll be taking a pole dancing class.:)

injaynesworld said...

I love that. You have a gift for the prose, my friend. Very charming. And stay at it. We want your heart beating out little sonnets like this for a long time to come.

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it!

Facing50: You take kick-boxing? I'm in awe!

Dawn: Awww...that's sweet!

Jen: I think you meant creaker! lol

Jayne: Well, thanks! I'll do my best!

Veg: I don't think there's a pole strong enough to hold me, unless it's at the fire station!

gayle said...

Love your poetry and the pictures!

lakeviewer said...

You spilled the beans on seniors, with no parts left to rest. We might as well admit, if we can move at all, it's the alleluia hail.

The Frisky Virgin said...

Loved this! I have to show this to my mom--she will hoot! Love your poetry!

Pat said...

Sweet! Puts a whole new twist to the saying, "Sweatin' to the oldies"!

Krafty Max Originals said...

I couldn't find the post about the Blog Hop, so I am leaving my note here....

BLOG HOPping around - I am now a follower of your blog, wont you also follow me?? ~KM
Krafty Max Originals

Marinela Reka said...

Lovely write,Eva. I love your poetry!
Short Poems

Eva Gallant said...

Marinela: Thank you so much.

Eva Gallant said...

Marinela: Thank you so much.