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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Saturday Silliness

No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally ."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No".

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile"

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ....."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here!"

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Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.




Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.

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This is for all you women out there who think all men are . . . heartless



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Have a great weekend!
 
EVA

18 comments:

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

That health tip was HILARIOUS!!!

River said...

Thanks for the laughs, just what I needed today.

Brian Miller said...

hehe...thanks for the chuckles this morning...might try that last trick on my wifes birthday just to make her feel special...

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

BEST way to start my day? Stopping by here and reading your jokes! PRICELESS, Eva, as always! Thanks! Have a great weekend!

Pandora's Cottage said...

It's always fun to start the day right here! Thanks, Eva!
Susan

Jen said...

I love ...."breakfast in bed " !!!!

THUNDERCAT said...

I loved that freaking health tip! Oh, don't forget about the full body massage they give you. Oh, and if they keep searching you WILL get a happy ending...just don't tell them, they get kinda offended about that kind of thing. I've learned my lesson ;)

Unknown Mami said...

Love using the senility excuse to your benefit.

April said...

Hi! I’m your newest follower. Please stop by and follow back when you have a chance. I’m also hosting a blog hop today as well. Come add your blog when you get a chance if you haven’t already. If you’re ever interested in a blog makeover please let me know. Take a look at my portfolio and packages when you get a chance. Hope you are having a Sweet Week.

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rosaria said...

Oh, that was a good one. And so was that one, and that one. The health tip stole the show!

Pat said...

I showed my husband the "breakfast in bed" joke. That would be just like him to do that if he could move the bed!

Tgoette said...

Sooooo Funny! OMG what a wonderful collection of gut-busting jokes! The trick now is deciding which ones to commit to memory! LOL! Thanks for sharing!

Eva Gallant said...

Jen: I liked that one, too!

Thunder Your comment cracked me up!

April: Welcome! So glad you dropped by. I'll be visiting you as well!

Rosaria: So glad you enjoyed them!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

you are one funny lady

SherilinR said...

i like the men/women friendships. those dudes are always sticking together, even when it's stupid to do so.

Clipped Wings said...

Loved all the jokes. Thanks for all the laughs.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

HILARIOUS!! Yeah, that would totally be how my husband would give me breakfast in bed.

Eva Gallant said...

Clipped: Glad I could give you a chuckle!