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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Silliness

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong. "I feel terrible,"he explains,"I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."The blonde says, " Don 't worry."She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.  She walks over to the limp,dead rabbit,bends down,and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up,waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops,turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet,turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves,and repeats this again and again and again,until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands,"What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says..

(This is bad!)
(You know you could just click off and not read the punch line....)

(It's not too late--You can still escape!)
(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says,

"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."



*************************

3 Blondes Explaining Easter        (Veg, this one's for you!)

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.
The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... "
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

St. Peter fainted.

********************************

The trucker's breakfast:

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards...... What does he think this place is an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards... Are 2 slices of crisp bacon! "

"Oh... OK!' said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!!!!!

Note: No blondes were injured in the for the purpose of this post.
Have a great rest of the weekend.
EVA

19 comments:

tsonodablog said...

That last blond joke is just about the best I ever heard. Awesome! Love the St Peter joke, too. Gosh, those blonds do have fun, don't they? I think I'll go get my hair colored....

She Writes said...

Hilarious and I really need to laugh :).

Mrs B said...

All three were awesome, but the rabbit joke inched the other two out by just a "hair". (Sorry, I couldn't help myself) Seriously, I thought hubby was going to roll off his chair onto the floor when I read it to him! I laughed out loud myself. Thanks for another hilarious Saturday morning post!

Jen said...

That picture is sssssssoooooooo funny!! I liked all your jokes....especially the waitress!!

Bossy Betty said...

I love that you used my picture on this.

Al Penwasser said...

Gas up! That's great! Although I have to admit I liked the rabbit one the best (even I'm always a sucker for St. Peter theme jokes).
Finally, your picture of the blonde girl that kept moving was fantastic.
Thanks for the laughs. I can now find the strength to move on.

Pandora's Cottage said...

Seriously laughing out loud! Great way to start a lazy Saturday morning!
Susan

Lazarus said...

Good ones! You always find the gems that seem to elude everyone else on the web, nice job!

SherilinR said...

ha! gas up!

rosaria said...

You do know that is a banquet!

Brian Miller said...

oh my...i think you may have outdone yourself with this one...off to get some hair spray...just in case you know...

Unknown Mami said...

Man, I need some of that hair spray.

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Glad you liked the jokes...Let me know how that hair color works for you!

Shewrites: Well, then, I guess my job is done!

Jen: That picture is one of my favorties!

Rosaria: then I hope you had your fill! lol

Kristy said...

Love it! Perfect for Easter. I had heard the hair/hare one before.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

Thanks as always for the laughs. From a former blonde whose gorgeous blonde hair has been stolen by age. ;)

Claudia said...

strange - i never start to wave after using hair-spray...smiles
happy saturday eva

00dozo said...

Being a Canadian, I particularly liked the St. Peter/mondo blondo joke. Sadly, hockey season now extends to June (but probably better news that spring will arrive sooner).
;-)

natalee said...

oh eva.. i lol'd and woke up my snoring hubby.. im back from my break.... i missed you sooooooooooo

Pat said...

I sent the three blondes joke to my Canadian friends! Cute!