Followers

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Texas Is A Hotbed of Sex

According to a survey of 100 U.S. cities conducted by Men's Health Magazine, there's more "hanky-panky" going on in Austin, Texas, than anywhere else in the country!  And Austin wasn't an anomaly; five other Texas cities made the top fifteen.  Portland, Maine, came in last --right behind Burlington, Vermont.  Results were based on the census birth rates, sales of sex toys, and rates of sexually transmitted diseases.

The Austin newspaper "The American Statesman" declared Austin to be the "Capital of Copulation."

 "As Texans know," the newspaper bragged, "size does matter."  Whether that's the reason Texans are so prolific, or it's because the cities which made the top 15 are all college towns is up for debate.  Home of the University of Texas, one of the countries largest universities, Austin is either the sexiest or the sleaziest city, depending on your point of view.  With summers hovering around 100 degrees, there must be a whole lot of sweating going on! 

As high rates of STD's were part of the results, I'm not sure Austin wants to be putting that piece of info in their "Visit Austin" promos. 

I'm less than blown away  (no pun intended) by the news that Portland, Maine, is seeing the least amount of action.  I would think those long, cold winter nights would cause one thing to lead to another, but maybe libidos cool down by the time they get through all those layers of sweat pants and flannel nighties.   Or maybe it all just requires too much effort in winter.  "You want me to get out of my Snuggie?  You've got to be kidding!"

Mainers have a reputation for being self-reliant. . . .Then there's our resourcefulness.   Maybe we make our own sex toys, so there's fewer records of people purchasing them   We like things natural; why purchase some rubber and plastic contraption, when a good cucumber or zucchini from the garden will do the trick?  This is all speculation on my part, you understand. 

Then there's the age thing.   Maine is know to have an older average age than many states.   That would explain why we wouldn't be topping the charts on birth rates.


No, I think it's more likely that Mainer's are mum.  They are tight-lipped about their tendencies and figure what goes on in the bedroom, the back seat of the Buick, the bed of the pick up truck, or behind the barn ,is just none of your business!  We're just not braggarts. 
And as far as those Texans go, well, it's always been my belief that those who talk about it the most do it the least!
Any thoughts?

Source:  ABCNews.go.com/health

EVA

22 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Well, there is a Snuggie-Sutra. So no needing to get out of the Snuggie, at all.

ethelmaepotter! said...

OMG! "...a good cucumber or zucchini from the garden will do the trick." I can only assume you are referring to using those cucumbers and zucchini to concoct some succulent dish for a seductive evening with the Hubs. Right?

As for Texas...let 'em have that title. I like to think I'm doing my part in making Tennessee the SEX-LESS capital of the country!

(And Eva, as far as Mainers being mum...I think you've just disproven that theory!)

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Well to be fair, Eva, it doesn't say what Texans are having sex WITH. But those longhorns sure look nervous! :)

You should probably steer clear of salad shagging though. All that green in your cookie might make you seem a little moldy! By "you" I didn't mean YOU. A general you. OK I'm stopping now.

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

If one was to judge the amount of sex being had by the number of birth and the number of STD cases....uh, wouldn't that be more of a 'stupidity' indicator than anything else?

Deb said...

Portland's sex stats may be low, but Saco's may be off the charts!

I was in Hannaford's picking out zuchhini a few years ago. A middle-aged man came up to me, a middle-aged woman, and said, "Excuse me, may I ask what you are going to do with that?" Of course I burst out laughing with an incredulous look on my face and he slowly backed away, turned and booked it for the wine aisle. Who'd have thought he was referring to a recipe?

Brian Miller said...

i would comment further but i am personally attempting to get VA up to at least second...i can be rather competitive like that...

EmptyNester said...

Oh Eva! You never fail to come through with the laughs! I've got to run now...gotta go get a couple of zucchini and cucumber plants for the garden.

glnroz said...

heheheh,lololol,hehehe,,,to all of it.. hehe.. their city moto, by the way is "Keep Austin Weird",,for real.. lol

Jen said...

Yup...Cukes and Zucchini are great.....in a SALAD!!!!enough said.

Candice said...

I'm pretty sure Austin rates fairly high on the "butt sex" scale as well. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Eva Gallant said...

Veg: You're right about those longhorns; I hadn't thought of that! And I'll steer clear of salad.

Deb: Saco's numbers are negative! That supermarket story is hilarious!

Glenn: that's really their motto??

Jen: Right! Whatever you say, girl!

tsonodablog said...

Texas has to be good for something I guess. LOL

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Sounds to me, Eva, like you are a can-do kind of gal who knows a lot about veggies. Just sayin' ;)

rosaria said...

You ought to get paid for this Texan write-up. Who knew!

Helene said...

Texas, really? I would've thought it would be somewhere cold, like Minnesota where during the winter you would think that sexual activity would help keep people warm.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh, Eva, how I've missed you!! I'm laughing again, thanks to YOU!! I'm with you, Mainers just prefer to keep it to themselves! I bet there's LOTS of action beneath those snuggies!!

Al Penwasser said...

Mainers are self-reliant?
A post that contains "sex" and "self-reliant".....hmm.
Sounds like a 12 year old boy, a locked bathroom, and the underwear section of the Sears-Roebuck catalog if you ask me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to AAA to see if they get me a Trip-Tik to Austin.

FreeFlying said...

Ha! I just came here from Terri's recommendation and I don't know what I was expecting, but I'm pretty sure it didn't involve cucumbers as sex toys. Awesome!

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Well, of course!

Dawn: Speculation, Dawn, it's strictly speculation!

Rosaria: No kidding!

Pat said...

That's all I know is, I bought shot glasses for all my sisters-in-laws that showed a man flashing to women seated on the bus. One woman said to the other one, "I thought they said that EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!"


Hmmm....have I ever been to Austin? Maybe I'd get lucky there! With my husband, of course! Ha ha!

Pish Posh said...

Tell me about some midwestern states. Say Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri.

Repressed states and yet high STDs I'm betting. Because they sneak it.

Kelley said...

This is interesting stuff, Eva. I'm in agreemement with you about Maine and the cold and everything. I have to tell you...I went to college in Austin. My son's name is Austin. I'm not sure how I feel about this anymore. Thanks for linking this up with #findingthefunny last week!