Followers

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Saturday Silliness

THIS ONE IS FOR THE HOCKEY FANS!


Two guys from Vancouver die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?" They reply, "'Well, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh".

The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Canada, land of ice and snow, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh."

This gets the devil steamed up and he cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming but he finds the two Canadians in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Vancouver. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice."

The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail and moan. The devil smiles. He finds the two Canadians back in their parkas, toques and mittens. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men! The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?"

The two guys from Vancouver look at the devil in surprise, "Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Canucks have won the Stanley Cup.

*************************
 


 
*******************
 
 
"Nice dog. What's its name?" I asked my friend's 10-year old son.


"Bob," he said.

"And what's your cat's name?"

"Bob."

"Well, how do you keep them straight?" I asked.

"Well, one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker," the boy answered.
"Go ahead and tell him your rabbit's name," his father suggested.

The kid smiled and said... "Dennis Hopper."


***********************


A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"
 
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman.
The results read, "Buy a television."


****************
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:




SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!




HEARING AIDS



BAND AIDS



ROLL AIDS



WALKING AIDS



MEDICAL AIDS



GOVERNMENT AIDS



MOST OF ALL,



MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR KIDS!



Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)


 ***************************


 Life is too short...drink more beer today!





EVA

15 comments:

River said...

Loved the Canadians in Hell!

Gail said...

Thanks for the weekend laugh!

Brian Miller said...

groan on the AIDs...lol...too funny eva...have a marvelous saturday

Al Penwasser said...

And you waited until after the Bruins were drinking from Lord Stanley's cup (which is pretty gross when you think about it) before the Canucks one, huh? Very funny!

tsonodablog said...

Loved them all but that first one was awesome! LMAO
Hope all is well with you and the hubs. Thinking about you.
HUGS

SherilinR said...

i loved the aids. and the elderly boob honk wasn't half bad either. i hope i'll still be getting a little action when i'm her age.

rosaria said...

Oh my, seniors do carry a heavy load.

Beth Zimmerman said...

You are such a nut! :)

Pat said...

I always look forward to your Saturday Silliness! Love the Bob Cat, Bob Barker and Dennis Hopper!

Unknown Mami said...

I like the pet names one.

Deidre said...

The Canadians in Hell is very funny.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Clipped Wings said...

Super funny, especially the Canadian one. You're always good for great laughs. Thanks.

She Writes said...

Ah, the Canadians got me :).

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Thanks for the kind words and thoughts.

Rosaria: We sure do!

Dierdre: thanks for returning the visit!

Clipped: It always is a good thing if I can make you smile!

Eva Gallant said...

SheWrites: Glad I got you! lol