Saturday, July 30, 2011

Saturday Silliness

The Three Little Pigs

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.
They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room. 


A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words!

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.  Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother, It says: "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle... it makes your nose look too short."



Brevity is the Key

A woman from the most southern part of South Carolina goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.

The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is a dollar per word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, just let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am there is a seven word minimum on all obituaries." A little flustered, she thinks things over and replies, "In that case, let it read,

'Billy Bob died - Red truck for sale'.


(This one is for all the blonde women for always being the one in the "blond joke")

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."




PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

The last one was my favorite today....and I loved the animated blonde head at the top.

River said...

I know it's very unPC of me, but I do love blonde jokes. and Irish jokes etc. Loved the talking pig, laughed out loud at that one.

Brian Miller said...

haha...yeah if the pig talked to me i might respond the same...and the blonde joke, i

Pat said...

Finally! A male blond joke! Yes! Thanks for making my day!

Jen said...

OMG!!All of those jokes were HILARIOUS! "how long do you want this wood----DAH----gonna build a house."...Good ones , Eva.

tsonodablog said...

Finally! A Blond MAN joke. Funny stuff! Loved them all!

Eva Gallant said...

Jen: always love making you laugh, sis!

Terri: You don't see men blond jokes often!