I'm willing to wait 'til you return....hell, I'm retired...I've got plenty of time!
You're back? Now you know the F-word to which I am referring! This is a delicate matter; and not for the
With the flare up of flatulence, comes the accompanying foulness from the nether regions (malodorous flatus). It can happen to anyone! If you or your spouse have ever had to vacate the premises -- whether it be the car, the living room couch, or the bed -- in order to avoid asphyxiation, listen up! If your co-workers have ever cleared out of their cubicles after you ate cabbage or collard greens for lunch, listen up! (Methinks it is not a coincidence that asphyxiation starts with as
Finally you can show your concern for your loved ones and coworkers by purchasing and using this miracle product: Underease (also called Under-Ez).
It's available for both men and women. (Yes, ladies, even though you may consider yourself too dainty and feminine to ever exude anything but the loveliest of fragrances--don't allow yourself to be fooled; you, too, can be foul, given certain dietary choices.)
Each pair is made of an airtight fabric, with elastic at the waist band and legs to contain the offensive odor. At the back of the pant is a hole which allows the gas (flatus) to escape through a filtering pad made of wool, fiberglass, and activated carbon, the combination of which neutralizes the no-no. The pads are washable and replaceable.
They are even available in Plus-sizes:
The wearer can pig out on tacos, burritos, beans, broccoli, and/or brussel sprouts without fear of offending. No longer need your job or relationship be at risk due to foul emissions!
No, I'm not being paid to advertise this product; I saw it on the Shark Tank the other night and saw an opportunity for a little humor, and also felt there might be someone out there who would be relieved to have this product! It's a Mom and Pop on line operation, and the husband and wife were looking for some venture capital to expand their business. They were turned down because the Sharks felt their target market was too limited.
All joking aside, there are people with Crohnes disease, irritable bowel syndrome, and other ailments for whom this product may be a great relief from embarrassment and discomfort. The man who invented it did so out of necessity because his wife had Crohnes disease and had no control over the terrible gas she passed as part of her illness; he wanted her to be able to live without feeling embarrassed.
If you, a loved one, or someone that you know could benefit from this product, the company has a website where you can order on line with a degree of privacy. Click here to visit the Under-Ease website.