Followers

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Still Fighting the F-word.

Hold on to your hats!   I have the product that may be a marriage savior, not to mention an embarrassment reliever for us all.   I discussed that four-letter F word on my blog before.   If you don't recall that post, click here and bring yourself up to date!
I'm willing to wait 'til you return....hell, I'm retired...I've got plenty of time!

You're back?  Now you know the F-word to which I am referring!  This is a delicate matter;  and not for the fart faint-hearted.   As we move into fall and the weather gets cooler, we'll be closing our windows.   That means no fresh air coming into our abodes; that combined with the fresh garden vegetables we'll still be eating, and the rich foods soon to follow with the holidays, makes for a volatile situation.

With the flare up of flatulence, comes the accompanying foulness from the nether regions (malodorous flatus).  It can happen to anyone!  If you or your spouse have ever had to vacate the premises -- whether it be the car, the living room couch, or the bed -- in order to avoid asphyxiation, listen up!  If your co-workers have ever cleared out of their cubicles after you ate cabbage or collard greens for lunch, listen up!  (Methinks it is not a coincidence that asphyxiation starts with ass!)

Finally you can show your concern for your loved ones and coworkers by purchasing and using this miracle product:  Underease (also called Under-Ez).

It's available for both men and women.  (Yes, ladies, even though you may consider yourself too dainty and feminine to ever exude anything but the loveliest of fragrances--don't allow yourself to be fooled;  you, too, can be foul, given certain dietary choices.)

For Men:

Front view

Rear view

For Ladies:


Front view


Rear view

Each pair is made of an airtight fabric, with elastic at the waist band and legs to contain the offensive odor.   At the back of the pant is a hole which allows the gas (flatus) to escape through a filtering pad made of  wool, fiberglass, and  activated carbon, the combination of which neutralizes the no-no.  The pads are washable and replaceable.

They are even available in Plus-sizes:


Front

 Rear view


The wearer can pig out on tacos, burritos, beans, broccoli, and/or brussel sprouts without fear of offending.  No longer need your job or relationship be at risk due to foul emissions!

No, I'm not being paid to advertise this product; I saw it on the Shark Tank the other night and saw an opportunity for a little humor, and also felt there might be someone out there who would be relieved to have this product!  It's a Mom and Pop on line operation, and the husband and wife were looking for some venture capital to expand their business.   They were turned down because the Sharks felt their target market was too limited.

All joking aside, there are people with Crohnes disease, irritable bowel syndrome, and other ailments for whom this product may be a great relief from embarrassment and discomfort.   The man who invented it did so out of necessity because his wife had Crohnes disease and had no control over the terrible gas she passed as part of her illness; he wanted her to be able to live without feeling embarrassed.

If you, a loved one, or someone that you know could benefit from this product,    the company has a website where you can order on line with a degree of privacy.   Click here to visit the Under-Ease website.

18 comments:

tsonodablog said...

Oh Eva. I never know what you're going to come up with when I visit, but I know it's always going to be entertaining. Although this product may indeed help some folks, I spewed my wine all over the keyboard while viewing said undergarments. LMAO. I so wish these were around when I was married to my 2nd husband. It wouldn't have kept us together, but it would have made our days together a little less miserable. Thanks again for a most entertaining post!

Janiece said...

Oh my goodness...that is a new one.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I wonder if they really work??? The fabric almost looks like plastic?? That would be realllly hot and sweaty...

River said...

I'm with Queenie Jeanie. They look waaaay too hot and sweaty. I'd be much more inclined to modify my diet to reduce the flatulence.

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

For people who need them, this is a Godsend. Thanks for blogging about it.

Brian Miller said...

its like a haz-mat suit for your butt...

linda m said...

This one is soooo funny. thanks for sharing.

Pat said...

Sure, it might contain the smell. But what about the noise? Does it come with ear plugs for everybody else?

Jen said...

Great for people that can use these, but why not make them a little more attractive and femine for the ladies! Good job Eva, informing those who nerer knew!!!!!

SherilinR said...

since they're air tight, if you toot a big one, will they poof up like a balloon before that gas has a chance to filter through the little hole? now i'll be watching the butts around me to see if they have sudden expansion which would be a sure sign that they're wearing the underease & poofing.

Sandy said...

I agree...way too hot since they do look like plastic. I love the guy invented them out of thoughtfulness for his wife though.

Veronica said...

Those must only work for those silent but deadly gems.

LOL, I'd rather fart in public repeatedly than wear those!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I once produced a stench so noxious the DOG left the room. So if I ever have that moment again, I'd try these. Well maybe if they were a little less....like gigantic diapers. Of course I could just vow to never eat Indian food again.

Gosh, I'm a lady.

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Glad you enjoy visiting...hope the wine didn't make too much of a mess!

linda m: So glad you enjoyed it! Hope you come back often!

Glenn: It's true..all pretense is gone; we're just comfortable with who we are and who they are.

Eva Gallant said...

Veg: Wow...you caused the dog to vacate...Now that's poop power!

The Frisky Virgin said...

I can't believe these are real! They look like they might work, given the material, though. I'm always amazed by the things people come up with.

Your posts are the best, you know that?!

Eva Gallant said...

Frisky: Thank you!

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

WOW, this product is awesome. The true test will be if they can hold up to my Dad who can blow bottle rockets outta his a$$.