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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Saturday Silliness






Grandfathers don't know everything!



Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
 His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.’  ‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't Called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.'

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WHY MEN AREN'T ALLOWED TO TAKE PHONE MESSAGES

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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.

She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"

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A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up.

The judge asked the husband, "What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"

The husband said, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing."

The wife said, "Seven weeks."

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A couple of those will be especially appreciated by Mr. Eva; today is our 27th wedding anniversary!
(UPDATE:  Yikes! We were talking this morning...turns out it's 28 years! Time flies when you're having fun, I guess!)
EVA

18 comments:

tsonodablog said...

LMAO. Loved the grandpa one and the phone message one. Funny stuff!

Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane said...

Eva, thank you for a good laugh to start my day here in Moldova! Tonight I am going to a local wedding which will involve a lot of eating and dancing, and I hope, laughing.

Happy anniversary!

She Writes said...

HILARIOUS. I liked the beer one best. Too funny!

Happy Anniversary!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Laughing and wheezing at the bunk beds!!!!!

Happy Anniversary!!!!! Congratulations!! 27 years is the big leagues!!

Brian Miller said...

haha...my dad used to drink pabst....27 years, that is awesome...happy anniversary!

River said...

Happy Anniversary!

I like the Gyna Colleges, but the wireless technology is a bit freaky. All those birds just sitting in mid-air.

David Allen Waters said...

happy anniversary:)

Oh gramps, hahahhhaaaa ;)

Gail said...

Happy anniversary!!!

AB HOME Interiors said...

hahahahah. I didnt know you liked beer! hahaha

Pearl said...

It's called "bunk beds". :-) Oh, I am so retelling that one!

And 28 years? Congratulations -- I'll bet there's a lot of laughter in your marriage. :-)

Pearl

Pat said...

Happy Anniversary! Time flies when you are having fun!

That joke reminded me of the time Jim and I were arguing about something and I said to him, "You are so "argumentive" and he replied, "argumenTAtive" - so I slapped him!

rosaria said...

Oh my, Happy Anniversary, you two!

KSK said...

Happy Anniversary!!! :)

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Nice to know I made you smile!

MissFootloose: Hope you enjoy the wedding and laugh much!

SheWrites: Thank you!

rosaria: Thanks from the two of us.

Unknown Mami said...

Ugh! My husband is not allowed to take messages or relay messages.

ceodraiocht said...

Happy Anniversary - marvelous little giggles - thank you!

Sue said...

You find the best stuff, Eva. It's way more funny than most I see.

=)

Eva Gallant said...

ceodraiorcht: Thank you so much.