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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Saturday Silliness

Did you know????
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. 

On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.  The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most
exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.  They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.  They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.  The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a
label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.  And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max
-- on the controls.

I can hear your groans from here. Control yourself!!!



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Daily Exercise Routine For Seniors!

This is a 2" X 4" block of wood  


In case you are having difficulty reading what it says:

1.  Place block on floor in center of room.

2.  Walk around block twice; sit down and relax.

3.  If any asks, Have you exercised today?  Tell them you walked around the block, twice!

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Did you ever notice: The Roman numerals for forty (40) are XL?

I'm just sayin'

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The Man of the House



Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'

 He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

 After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'

His Sicilian wife Gina replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'


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MY LAST TRIP TO SAM'S CLUB



Yesterday I was at my local Sam's Club buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Mitzi, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.  What did she think, I had an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.   I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.   (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle
and a car hit me.  I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

Sam's Club doesn't want me to shop there anymore.
***************************

EVA

16 comments:

Sue said...

Yep, that first one was such a groaner it was funny!

=)

Unknown Mami said...

Yup, I groaned at the first one. And I've been around quite a few blocks today.

tsonodablog said...

Loved the "Man of the House" one. Good chuckles!

River said...

Laughed at all of these today, even the dog food one which I have heard before.
I've walked around many blocks today, but city blocks, so my feet are aching quite badly.

nick said...

Oh the pain... from laughter

Brian Miller said...

yeah man of the house was my fav...hehe..happy saturday

TheProDiva said...

Funny! I love your Sam's club adventure. I wish I could have seen the look on their faces when you were telling this story! And the man of the house....pure hilarity!

Gail said...

Rolling, snorting, spitting my drink!!!! I love the Sam's Club!!!

David Allen Waters said...

love me the silly...lol

AB HOME Interiors said...

Hehehe, Norm is my favorite....

Pat said...

Moral of the story of "Man of the house"? Don't F**K with a Sicilian woman! Ha ha!

SisterMerryHellish said...

Didn't see the punchline for the first one coming! Hilarious! Especially for a girl who won't live in or drive anything without an air conditioner...on MAX.

Poor guy.

Jen said...

Hey, Good ones, Eva. Can always count on Saturday "chuckles".

Clipped Wings said...

Love the first and last ones. You always come up with some of the best to be found. Thanks for giving me some laughs today.

She Writes said...

Man of the house :)! yes, he couldn't handle the dream if it came his way :)!!

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Thanks!

nick: Glad I could make you laugh til it hurt!

Jen: Thanks, Sis!

Clipped: Thanks so much!

SheWrites: You are so right!