Saturday, September 24, 2011

Saturday Silliness

Riddle of the Day 

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Obama is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women..
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it? Answer below:

The answer is: 'A Last Name.'
You didn't think I'd post a dirty joke, did you?


A Red Sox fan with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden, a Yankee fan in West Virginia, as he started to drive his boat away from a lake.

The Yankee fan asked the man, "Aren't you supposed to have a fishing license?"

"No, sir," replied the Red Sox fan. "I don't need a license. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish??"

"Yep. Once a week, I bring these fish of mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."

"What a line of're under arrest."

The Red Sox fan said, "It's the truth, sir. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"

"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"

The Red Sox fan released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"

"Well, WHUT?" said the Red Sox fan.

The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH," replied the warden!

"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

Red Sox fans may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as Yankee fans!!
(no Offense intended,)


A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...  

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in tarnation have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - heck, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes it is," bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!"


Have a great weekend!


River said...

These are fabulous!
I laughed so hard at the false teeth one!

Brian Miller said...

strange...last name was not my a wonderful saturday eva!

SherilinR said...

it's funny, i've heard the first one before, but i can never remember the answer & i always think it's dirty when i hear it! i guess that's why i'm good for telling your jokes to since i never remember a punch line.

Gail said...

Once again, you have outdone yourself!

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Someone just sent me that blonde picture, being that I'm blonde. I love blonde jokes, sometimes being blonde is very much so that I pay a lot of money to stay that way! :)

David Allen Waters said...

yes, last name...thats just what i was thinking... LOL ;)

Clipped Wings said...

They're all pretty funny! Do have a very nice weekend.

Jen said... got me on the "last name" one!!!!lol

Eva Gallant said...

corabeth: Thanks for stopping by!

Clipped: You have a good weekend, too!

Jen: Ha! Gotcha!

Joanna Jenkins said...

You did it, Eva... I'm laughing out loud.
Thanks, jj

Adrienne said...

cute jokes! :)

tsonodablog said...

ROFLMFAO. Love your Saturday silliness!

Pat said...

I love the corn maze for blondes!

She Writes said...

I was thinking cigar on the fist one for sure!

Eva Gallant said...

SheWrites: fooled ya'!

Terri: So glad you enjoy my Saturday Silliness.

Eva Gallant said...

SheWrites: fooled ya'!

Terri: So glad you enjoy my Saturday Silliness.

Eva Gallant said...

SheWrites: fooled ya'!

Terri: So glad you enjoy my Saturday Silliness.

ipenka said...

I would hate to have to use that saxophone!

Sue said...

Honestly, Eva, I don't know where you get these, but I don't even like jokes and I laughed at every one.

Especially the first, which is so clever.