Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sex Ed Day

I figured it was about time for another public service announcement.  Whenever I come across information that I feel is relevant and pertinent to my readers, I like to share it.   I mean, why should I be the only well-informed blogger?

For some of my ancient more mature followers, this may be old news, but there are a lot of younger folks out there and newly-weds who could benefit from a little heads up (no pun intended.).  Here's everything your mother never told you about sex:

Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when
you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been
with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex
anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * This means you get Nun in
the morning, Nun in the afternoon, and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your
wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security
Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

I hope you found this information helpful; the retired teacher in me just can't stop educating!


Unknown Mami said...

Oh boy, I'm screwed.

tsonodablog said...

Hey teacher? When you've been through all the steps already...what next? Is there more to learn or am I screwed yet again?

Kristina P. said...

I wonder if there's a Kardashian Sex?

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

I like #4 and #7!!!!

Brian Miller said... can go backward on these stages right?

River said...

Ha Ha, I love this! I'm printing it out for the lunch room notice board.

She Writes said...

Oh my gosh! Who knew? How did I get this far in life NOT knowing a thing about sex?? Brilliant :).

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I miss kitchen sex. Le sigh. Lol.

Kristy said...

So much to look forward to...

Pat said...

Living in a trailer, I can't HELP but have Hallway sex!

David Allen Waters said...

um, kitchen, sex...maybe I've tried it, not saying ;)

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Haha - such an educational post!

Sue said...



Eva Gallant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eva Gallant said...

Terri: I guess you can consider yourself screwed! lol

SheWrites: I do my best to share the wisdom!

Dawn: I always thought kitchen sex involved cucumbers and bananas!

Megan: I'm glad you see the value!

Al Penwasser said...

I never knew that Mr. Ed's first name was "Sex."
You learn something new every day!
What about Oral Sex?
That's when a couple passes each other in the hallway:
"F**k you!"
"No, f**k YOU!"

SisterMerryHellish said...

God I miss Smurf Sex!

The Blonde Duck said...

I love Kristina's comment! HA!

ipenka said...

Ha! Thanks for the education.

Reminds me of a joke I read about condom packs: A kid is in line at the gas station with his dad and sees condom packets.

K: Dad, why they have the 3 pack, 7 pack and 12 pack.
D: The 3 pack is for high school kids for sex on the weekends. 7 pack is for the college kids for sex seven days a week.
K: Wow, how about the 12 pack?
D:For married couples once a month!

Eva Gallant said...

SisterMH: At least you must have had it at one time to miss it!

Blondeduck: Would that be back door?

ipenka: Good one!

Laurie Kolp said...

{smile} Too cute, Eva!

The Frisky Virgin said...

This was very informative. LOL Well done!!!!

Eva Gallant said...

Frisky: I do my best!

Sorry kid, your mom doesn't play well with others said...

HAHAHA! As always a great laugh, thanks!