Saturday, December 17, 2011

Saturday Silliness

Christmas Symbols

Three Marines died in a car accident on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The LCPL fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The LTCOL reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The old Gunny started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The Gunny replied, 'These are Carol's.'

The Frugal Christmas Invitation

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow.Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME? "and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."












Al Penwasser said...

Polar bears wearing scarves. How unbelievable!
It was Christmas Eve and everyone was feeling merry.
But, Mary hadda go.
So, they jumped for Joy.
But, she had to leave, too.

River said...

Love the cartoons!!

Brian Miller said...

ha...would not surprise me on texting carols you know...and ha on carol's.....

Gail said...


The Queen said...

I loved the cartoons...and tell the dude.. Carol wants her panties back!

Eva Gallant said...

TheQueen: I think the panties were a gift!

ipenka said...

The starfish one was great. Definitely didn't see that one coming.