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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Cat and the Crow

This UTube video is about 7 minutes long, and you do need the sound on.  It is a really amazing story and perhaps there is a lesson there for us all.  Enjoy!




Talk about strange bedfellows!

I hope you face the week with an open mind!
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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

The Sea Dog Brewing Company is a one of Maine's many micro-breweries.  In addition to their brewery, there are three Sea Dog Brewing Company Restaurants.  This particular one is in South Portland Maine.  There is one in Topsham, Maine, and another in Bangor Maine.




Inside are three dining areas, including a private dining room availaable for private functions. The place has brick walls, black tables and chairs, several booths, and a full bar. There is also a merchandise display counter where one can purchase t-shirts, calendars, and other souvenirs with the Sea Dog Logo (the white dog wearing a lobsterman's rain hat, seen on the painting on the wall in the photo above.

I started with a crock of French onion soup; a rich burganday beef broth loaded with carmelized onions on which a couple of small slices of French bread were floating, all covered with wonderful melted swiss cheese.  It was steaming hot and really hit the spot on a cold day.

Hubby went for the New England Clam Chowder, and added oyster crackers to the steaming cup.  He said it was excellent.

He followed the chowder with a turkey BLT with a side of fries.  (I apologize that the photo is blurred.  I was hurrying to get a picture before he scoffed it down! )  As you can see, it was stuffed with turkey and the bread was a tasty, toasted multigrain.

Instead of fries, I decided on a side salad with a variety of greens, cucumbers, onions, grape tomatoes, carrots and ranch dressing to go with my BBQ burger.

My grilled burger was topped with pepper jack cheese, cajun onion strings and hickory BBQ sauce.  The bun was disappointing, bland and a little dry.  But the burger was well-done without being blackened and the cheese, BBQ sauce, and onion strings made it quite tasty.  (I left most of the bun on the plate.)  The pickles were nice and crisp.

Since we hadn't had a dessert in a while, we decided to splurge today.  Hubby had the chocolate brownie ice cream sundae.  It was elegantly presented with two good-sized fresh brownie triangles, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, a large dollop of whipped cream on a plate that had been drizzled with chocolate and caramel sauces.  It tasted as good as it looks.

I opted for the chocolate peanut butter pie.  It too was elegantly presented on a plate drizzled with carable and chocolate sauce.  The round concoction had an oreo cookie crust, a layer of fluffy peanut butter mousse, topped with a layer of cream similar to what's in an oreo cookie (but much lighter and creamier!), and on top of that were chopped peanuts, caramel, and a chopped up little peanut butter cup.
It really didn't need the dollop of whip cream beside it...I left that on the plate, too.

The desserts were outstanding; the remainder of the meal was good, but did not tempt me to go back right away.  The service was rather slow.  Oh, Hubby had the Owls Head Light Ale.  He at first said it seemed watery, but I guess it grew on him, because he did have a second one!

If you'd like to learn more about The Sea Dog Brewing Company, click on the link.
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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Saturday Silliness

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST


She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" The clerk asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.  As the customer fumbled for her wallet, the clerk noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" she asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN ' S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.  I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.

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      CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.  The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.  A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"

He answers, "You see, it's like this: yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo much cheaper.  So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she."

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WORDS


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day:  30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "That's because we have to repeat everything to men."

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


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CREATION


A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.'

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said,  "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, " No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."



So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says. 'HEBREWS'

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CREATION:

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



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A son asked his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies: "Son, tthis shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

 The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

 The father looks at his son in surprise and says:   "Son, all household appliances come in white."


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Now that I've alienated everyone, have a great rest of the weekend!




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Friday, January 28, 2011

It's the Pits!

I'm not talking about Brad Pitts' adopted children here, nor the La Brea Tar Pits in L.A., nor Madona's hairy armpits, nor the fact that I got voted off Knucklehead's BlogOff.  (By the way, many thanks to those of you who voted for me and kept me in the competition through the second round.)

I'm talking about a lawsuit filed by Rep. Dennis Kucinich in Superior Court in Washington, D.C. against the House cafeteria.  It's an indication that our government is in the pits!


"The use of “the pits” to mean the worst and most unpleasant instance of something, however, has its source a bit closer to home. “Pits” in this sense is simply short for “armpits,” long considered an unpleasantly aromatic region of the human body. From originally meaning literally “stinky armpits,” the phrase broadened to describe anything that metaphorically stinks. As American Speech, the journal of the American Dialect Society, explained in 1965, “This is a slang abbreviation of the term armpits, … with an extension of meaning to entail the idea of body odor (’He’s got the pits’) or, more broadly, something unpleasant (’It [the party] was really the pits’)."


source: The Word Detective



In April of 2008, Rep. Kucinich purchased a sandwich from the Longworth office building cafeteria.  It turned out to be a "bad wrap."  It contained an unpitted olive on which the congressman allegedly broke a tooth amd "suffered oral damage."  Damage, apparently to the tune of $150,000.  Well, you know how these lawsuits go; "for damages, pain, suffering and lost enjoyment."  Amazingly enough, the "pain and suffering" were not severe enough to prevent him from delivering a speech on the House floor 5 days after the olive chomping incident.

Click here to see a short video of Anderson Cooper relating the details.


 I am such a dumdum!  Three years ago, I bit into a lollipop from a candy dish at my bank and broke a tooth.  The repair cost around $3000, of which my dental insurance from my employer paid half.  I could have sued my bank!  I had to make several trips to the dentist, suffer through the gagging experience of having an impression made of the broken tooth, AND I've lost my lollipop enjoyment!  I haven't dared to eat a DumDum lollipop since.  I used to be a sucker for those!  Another opportunity lost!

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Scouching

With all the snow we've been having, it's no surprise that lovers of the outdoors are coming up with new and interesting ways to enjoy it.  One new sport that's becoming popular is "Scouching."  It's the perfect way for the couch potato to enjoy skiing.  I'm not sure where it started, but I've seen videos of college students going for a "plush rush," families, and wacky adults.

How does it work?  Well, you take an old couch and attach two or three skis to it; or, if you prefer to take your scouch solo, then a Lazy Boy recliner may be your vehicle of choice.  Dress warmly, get your "scouch" to a big hill and have fun.

I'm not sure whether this sport will ever become an Olympic event, but it sure looks like fun.  The video below is the best illustration of what I'm writing about, but if you are at work you may want to turn the volume off, because it is accompanied by music.  This video was made in Saskatchewan, Canada, but scouching is popular an parts of the United States as well.  Click on the video and hang on to your hat!
(It's best when viewed full screen.)



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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

New Word Wednesday #7

Every time I comment on a website where I have to type a word verification to get my comment posted, I can't help but think, "What a waste! What could possibly be a very helpful word is now going to disappear and never be seen again." With all the attention being paid to "going green" in this country, I think it's time for bloggers to go green and recycle the letter combos used in word verification. (I personally did away with the process to eliminate the waste of words, but some people just aren't as conservation minded!)

I decided a couple of weeks ago to start a meme called "New Word Wednesday", thus creating a dictionary of new words based on the letter combos that pop up in the word verification process. You may feel free to do the same, or to grab my words and use them. (You know, if you use a new word three times, it's in your vocabulary forever; at least that's what I've heard) Just think, we can learn new words and go green just by recycling/reusing the words that show up at comment time.
Here are this week's words:

betraphy:  to put all one's earnings into gambling; as in, "George has a tendency to betraphy his paycheck at the track every week."

nonscop:  a person so obviously unattractive as to be not worth "scoping out;" as in, "Andrea was disappointed that her blind date was a total nonscop."

redners:  stories or photos of a person that are particularly embarrassing and cause them to be red-faced; as in, "You can't visit my kids without them telling you some real redners about me!"

suicab:  a luxury taxi with all the perks of a limo, offering passengers a "suite" ride, but with the compact size and agility of a city cab; as in, "The suicab had plush leather seats, champagne and snacks available, as well as a restroom, making the ride to the airport sweet."

taxiste:  a professional tax-preparer; as in, "To get the largest possible refund, it's best to take your taxes to a taxiste."

Join the fun!  Add a link to your blog below if you are playing New Word Wednesday, or click on the link to see other blogs participating!



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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Class Reunion

Every five years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.



 It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.
 
 
The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

 
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
 
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.


 The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
 They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least..
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

 
 
At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.
 
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.
 
And now I can't wait; they've set the date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.



Author Unknown

Life is Wonderful

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Monday, January 24, 2011

Age Has Talent!

This video cracked me up!   Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!



Thank you, UTube!

If you didn't read my post yesterday, scroll down, read it, and go vote for me in the blogoff!
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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Knucklehead's Blog-Off Week Three: Dress for Success

According to various publications, such as The Wall Street Journal, the Chicago Sun Times, The Salt Star, and the Epoch times, a major Swiss bank, USB, has issued a 43 page dress code for its employees. The goal of the bank is to “impress customers with a polished appearance” on the part of their employees, so that "customers will know immediately they have entered a Swiss bank."


A quote from the dress code which appears in the Chicago Sun Times states, “Our body odor cannot be changed. However, we can be sure that it produces only pleasant scents.” Employees are instructed to avoid garlic, onions, and cigarettes as they cause bad breath."  (Employees will be required to keep a food journal, much like dieters do, making it possible to uncover the perpetrator of flatulence by finding who ate the beans or broccoli for lunch.)

All staff are instructed to wear black, gray, or navy suits; men are to use necktie knots that match their face or body type. Knee high black socks are required. and cuff links and earrings are no-no’s for men. They are not to wear the same shoes or the same tie for two consecutive days. Also, men’s underwear should be easily washable and not detectable under their clothes. Male employees are required to get a haircut every 2 weeks, avoid hair coloring, and attend to their nasal hair. (Surveillance cameras are being installed at foot and chest levels to record each man’s daily tie and shoe choices, with rule offenders being sent home to change or to the nearest bootery to purchase additional footwear.)

Ladies' skirts should be no shorter than mid-knee and no cleavage should be visible. Blazers should be buttoned at all times except when the wearer is seated. More personal aspects of the dress code advise that the best time to apply perfume is “right after a hot shower when the pores are still open.”



Light makeup is encouraged, consisting of foundation, mascara, and discreet lipstick. Stylish haircuts are a must, and if a woman colors her hair, no roots should be apparent. Black nail polish is forbidden. Her underwear should not be too tight. be flesh colored, and invisible through her clothing.  A spare pair of panty hose must be carried at all times.

Neither gender is allowed to have body piercings, and both would “benefit from well-trimmed toenails.” All are expected to wear wristwatches, as this infers promptness.

Advertisements for a Cleavage Clearer and a Toenail Tracker are in process, according to Bjorn Vickers of Vickers Management Staffing Company.

Reaction to the 43-page dress code has been varied. When asked for her opinion, Olga Johansen replied, “Kneeling first thing when I arrive at work to be certain that my skirt hem hits the floor is annoying. I feel like I’m back at St. Olaf’s Convent.”


Hans Siegfried , who was recently employed by UBS as Personal Hygiene Evaluator, stated: "Gentlemen don’t mind too much when you sniff their breath, or look up their nostrils to make certain their nasal hair is under control, but tend to resent being asked how recently they washed their underwear or told that they must wear different briefs if their boxers are too bulky, or boxers if their jockey shorts tend to draw attention to their “package.” He went on to explain that the most onerous part of his duties was investigating incidents of flatulence.

 “It’s an impossible task. Employees are not honest in their food journals. Just the last week, I had to scan the food journals of everyone in the Private Banking Department. The room reeked with the aftermath of a bean and cheese burrito lunch, yet every journal listed salad or chicken soup as their luncheon fare. What am I to do? I draw the line at positioning my nose against a suspected offender’s anus."

One teller on condition of anonymity, lest her position be jeopardized, complained, “Something needs to be done about the bloke who keeps ringing the teller line and between heavy breaths asking what color knickers we are wearing, and I don’t agree with the morning pat down to discover any ill-fitting undergarments. Surely, that can’t be necessary or legal.”


“I don’t think it’s right that we have to walk through a metal detector to make sure we aren’t wearing body jewelry. If I want to have my private parts pierced and wear diamond studs, that’s my business,” stated Hilda Stearns. “As long as my diamond stud and nipple rings aren’t out in the open, why should management care?”

Obviously there are some kinks in the dress code which need to be ironed out!

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Okay, now go to Knucklehead's blog, check out the other entries, and vote for your favorite (which of course would be me!) His blog is usually posted by 10:00 a.m. Pacific time.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Saturday Silliness

The Lord and the Blonde

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.  After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again t o cut her hole.  The voice came once more,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward! and said,

"IS THAT YOU LORD?"

The voice replied,

"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!"


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                                            How men always ruin romance




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Need a GPS?


The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes.  Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students,

"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude..." 

A student's voice broke the confused silence, and volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone, sir."

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Always Thinking!
 
 
The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going out in cold weather insufficiently clad.


“There was once a boy,” he said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on; he caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia and he died!”

The teacher paused to allow the moral of this story to sink in, when a small voice said, “What happened to the sled ….?”


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Unnatural Childbirth


A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."


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I can't take credit for any of the above...all came to me on email.


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Friday, January 21, 2011

Cold is Relative

Different parts of the country respond differently to changes in the weather.  I'm in Maine.

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Maine plant gardens.


60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe. 

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Maine have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Maine close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Maine get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door-to-door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Bostonians get upset because they can't start their snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Maine start saying...'Cold enough for ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late.

Wish I could take credit for this; once again, it came in my email, no author given

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