Are You Too Old To Drive This Car?

Check this out!

                            Presenting the New Mercedes Benz SCL600

                               Pretty, isn't it?

                                  So?  What's different about this car?

                                                     Not this...............

                                  Nor this.

Here is the real difference!

WHOA !

                                   No Steering Wheel!   No Pedals either!

 

You drive this car with a joystick.  Do you think that you cand drive this car with a joystick?



                                          Your kids and grandkids can.


The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn't you say? But there is more ! 

The SCARY THOUGHT is:



NOW a 3-YEAR-OLD can STEAL your car



"AND DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU CAN !"


And if that's not a depressing thought to you, you're a hell of a lot younger than I am!
 
 
EVA

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

For over 36 years The Bull & Claw at 2270 Post Road (Route One) in Wells, Maine has been serving up some of the best steaks , seafoods and cocktails available in the State of Maine.

The mouth-watering photo above was taken from their website which you can visit here.  The restaurant has seating for at least 250, and in the summer is often filled to capacity.  In my working days, I held seminars there for my customers because I knew they would always get a good meal, there was a nearly private dining area, and plenty of parking was available.

There are plenty of booths and tables, and lots of windows, for well-lit, attractive dining areas.

A party of two, four, ten, or twenty....there are tables of varying sizes for every group.

There are also two fireplaces which were particularly pleasant on a cold winter day.  The servers are pleasant, efficient, and cater to your every need.

If cocktails are on your mind, a full bar awaits, with a flat-screen tv for entertainment.

A boat resting on lobster traps and filled with crushed ice serves as a huge salad bar.

Everything you could think to put in a salad is available.  The lettuce is a fresh, crispy mixture of iceberg and romaine.  Cherry tomatoes, sliced radishes, sliced cucumbers, sliced pepperoni, purple onions, black olives, cottage cheese, two kinds of pasta salad, two kinds of potato salad, three bean salad and  carrot and raisen salad are among the choices.  Plus there are six kinds of dressings to pick from, croutons, and chinese noodles.  Certainly there is something for everyone!

I ate everything on my salad plate; all was fresh and delicious.

Hubby partook of the salad bar also...there was just so much from which to make your picks!

There is also a soup bar which on this day had a selection of Cream of Mushroom, Italian Wedding Soup, and Corn Chowder.

Hubby went for the corn chowder.  It's one of his favorites and not often on the  menu of restaurants.

There are rolls fresh from the oven, brushed with a mixture of butter and garlic and sprinkled with a little parsley.  Crusty on the outside and soft on the inside, rolls alone could have been a meal for me!

I ordered the Cranberry-stuffed Chicken Breast Supreme, which came with rice, mixed vegetables, and the salad and soup bars for $10.95.  The vegetables were perfect--just a little bit crunchy.  So often, the veggies are served over-done and soggy, but not here!  The rice was tasty and the chicken was a boneless breast wrapped around a cranberry and bread cube stuffing with a ladle of gravy poured over it.  The chicken was excellent; the stuffing might have stood a little more seasoning, but I still ate every bit!

Hubby chose the Haddock Newburg from the Senior Menu for $7.95.  It was served with a choice of potato or rice and the mixed veggies.  He added the soup and salad bar for an extra $3.00.  We both felt we'd had excellent meals; generous portions for the price we paid.  Unfortunately, we were too full to try any of the desserts.  I've had their peanut butter pie before and their chocolate lava cake and both are to die for.   Maybe next visit.

We said goodbye to the chef standing in the lobby and vowed to go back one day soon for the breakfast buffet!

We drove away with happy tummies, glad to know that the food is still as good as ever, and well worth the drive from Saco.

Note:  I was not compensated in any way for this review; we paid for our dinners.

EVA

Saturday Silliness

TOO OLD TO SQUAT

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that. He went to the beach, undressed completely and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along.
Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she said: "There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked: "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied: "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it."

"When I was 30, I enjoyed it."

"When I was 40, I asked for it."

"When I was 50, I paid for it."

"When I was 60, I prayed for it."

"When I was 70, I forgot about it."

"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."


****************************************

Her Fourth Marriage

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained.................

"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

************************************

This is important...... For People, 50 and older policy changes:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our senior citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

********************
 
Have a great weekend!
 
EVA

Winter Storm Warning

Well, here we go again....Snow, sleet, and rain.
This winter has been rough.  I think I've had enough.
If I had the cash, I'd be in Key West in a flash!
All this snow and ice and cold are so beginning to get old.

I wouldn't leave to stay.  I'd be back home by May.
I'd just like to keep my knees out of this freezing breeze;
To enjoy a little sun until our  freakin' winter's done.
Then I'd drive right back to Maine until winter cones again!

an original poem by Eva Gallant

cartoons courtesy of my email pals

An Advertising Faux Pas

I admit that I sometimes have a quirky sense of humor.  Some might say I have a warped or sick sense of humor.  And maybe I might have occasionally offended someone; I hope not, but I recognize that it could happen.  We don't all laugh at the same things. 

However, there are some things I don't think anyone will laugh at.  (Well, some might chuckle behind closed doors, but would never publicize those questionable tidbits for all to witness!)

Except that someone did.    The following billboard appeared briefly in South Bend, Indiana.

If there are any among you who are too young to remember, in  November of 1978 members of Jim Jones' Peoples Temple drank grape punch laced with cyanide in a mass murder/suicide pact in their compound in Guyana.  Nine hundred people ended up dead.

Apparently, someone in the Hacienda's marketing department did some brain(and I use the term loosely)storming about people who belong to clubs, teams, and cults.  This ad was the result.  When a South Bend resident emailed the company and told them she found the billboard in poor taste and offensive, sanity prevailed.  The company apologized for the insensitivity and immediately removed the billboard.

WTF were they thinking when they came up with this sales promotion???

Eva

New Word Wednesday #11

Every time I comment on a website where I have to type a word verification to get my comment posted, I can't help but think, "What a waste! What could possibly be a very helpful word is now going to disappear and never be seen again." With all the attention being paid to "going green" in this country, I think it's time for bloggers to go green and recycle the letter combos used in word verification. (I personally did away with the process to eliminate the waste of words, but some people just aren't as conservation minded!)

I decided several weeks ago to start a meme called "New Word Wednesday", thus creating a dictionary of new words based on the letter combos that pop up in the word verification process. You may feel free to do the same, or to grab my words and use them. (You know, if you use a new word three times, it's in your vocabulary forever; at least that's what I've heard) Just think, we can learn new words and go green just by recycling/reusing the words that show up at comment time.

Here are this week's words:

dratures: (noun) a slang word used to refer to dentures that do not stay in place and do not work well; as, in "Aunt Matilda got so frustrated that she said, "I've had it with these dratures!" and tossed them out the car window."


gospagra:  (noun)  a busy-body who spends their time spreading rumors about others; as in, "The saying goes, Telephone, telegraph, telEdwina--she's the biggest gospagra in town!"

kindingi:  (noun)  a small skiff belonging to a relative; as in, "George made his way back to shore in the kindingi that Dad loaned to him."

pedneta:  (noun)  a brush designed to help remove dead skin from one's feet; as in, "Ever since I began using that new peneta, I have the softest feet and don't mind wearing sandals!"
 
tomblo:  (noun)  a sex act performed by an awkward female whose behavior and pursuits are usually typical of males; as in, "Agatha may live in jeans and hang out with the guys, but she is capable of  giving a tomblo that will curl your toes!"
 
Don't forget that if you use a word in your regular speech three times, it's in your vocabulary forever

The Bare Facts About Hockey

Let me say right up front, I am not a hockey fan.  Sitting in a cold arena, all bundled up, stamping my feet to keep them from freezing, while watching a bunch of guys so covered up with helmets and padding that you can't determine if they work out or not, while they chase a piece of hard plastic the size of a hamburger patty around on ice skates is not my idea of a good time.  (I like my eye candy!)

Could I have been wrong about this sport?  After watching this video of a portion of the Colorado Eagles and the Missouri River Kings game, I may have to rethink my position. The assistant coach, Greg Pankewicz, got upset with the officials when a scuffle broke out on the ice.  ( A scuffle/fist fight in the middle of a hockey game?  Surprise, Surprise!) 

In an apparent attempt to emphatically express his disapproval, Pankewicz pulled a Chippendale's move and started stripping and tossing his clothes out onto the ice, beginning with his suit jacket, his shirt, his tie, his shoes, and ending with his t-shirt before being exiled to the locker room. 

The person taking the video did not hold the camera very steady, so the film quality isn't great.  At around 1 minute and 20 seconds into it, you see Pankewicz (about the fourth person from the aisle in the fron row) start his routine.  Unfortunately there was protective glass between him and the spectators, so no one was able to tuck dollar bills in his pants.


As I said above, if this is what I've been missing at hockey games, I may need to think about becoming a fan.   First,  I need to start saving up my ones!  

Better still, Greg, if there's going to be a repeat performance, could you let me know in advance, so I
can be there? 

video and photo credit:  Yahoo Sports



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Housecleaning Hint: A Rerun

Well, it's nearly time for spring cleaning, and since so many readers thanked me for this helpful cleaning hint last year, I thought I should post it once again, so my new readers can benefit, too.  Here goes!

I hate housework; it's another of my serious flaws. Obviously, when I find a way to do things easier or faster, I'm delighted. I found a helpful tip on line this morning, and it was simply too much of a Time-Saver not to share it with you.

How to clean a toilet:



1. Put both the lid and the toilet seat up and add 1/8 cup of pet Shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times .This provides a 'power-wash' and 'rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean!

Sincerely,


The dog

Good luck with your spring cleaning efforts!



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Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

There’s a “hole-in-the-wall diner at 144 New Gray Road in Falmouth, Maine, Called Harmon’s Hamburgers. It’s a small, no frills joint, with a half dozen booths and two tables. The décor is limited to shelves of old fashioned milk bottles—hundreds of them on display, from a simpler day when the milkman delivered his product in bottles to your door.

You better bring cash with you, because they don’t take any type of cards. The menu is limited: Hamburgers, Cheeseburgers, Hot Dogs, Grilled Cheese, and French Fries. The burgers are small, but delicious. You’ll want to order two. If you don’t, you’ll wish you had; I’m just sayin’.

Forget how you like your burgers. In this establishment, they only come one way: medium. They are nice and juicy, but not pink at all inside. There are signs posted that tell you, “This is not Burger King. You don’t get it your way. You take it my way, or you don’t get the damn thing.”

The cook’s way is outstanding! You can have sautéed onions, red pepper relish, mustard and/or ketchup on top—you are allowed to make those choices. The French fries are fresh cut, with the skins still on them and are really good. Everything is cooked up fresh, so if the place is busy you could end up waiting for your food. The diner was packed they day we were there, and we were told there was a 30 minute wait. We didn’t mind. The taste was worth it.

We were able to buy 4 burgers, an order of fries, and two drinks for less than $15.00—that’s a bargain you can appreciate in the current economic environment!

Harmon's is worth a stop if you like burgers and you are in the neighborhood.....they're less than a mile north on Rte. 26/100 off the West Falmouth exit of the Maine Turnpike.



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Saturday Silliness

Zipper Confusion

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.  She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.  \

o, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.  Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.  She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends."

*****************

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A. When you see your mother-in-law driving off a cliff in your new car.


***************
 
Wealth
 
 
I'm rich!


Silver in the Hair,

Gold in the Teeth
Crystals in the Kidneys
Sugar in the Blood
Lead in the Ass
Iron in the Arteries

And

an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.

I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth.


***************************

What Would You Do?

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.  While en route home he asks the cab driver if he would be a witness.  The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cab driver agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cab driver tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back,  And there is his wife in bed with another man!  The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.  HE paid for the Corvette I gave you. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.  HE paid for your season Pittsburgh Steelers tickets.  HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks  over at the cab driver and says, "What would you do?"

The cab driver replies, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches cold."

***********************

Have a great weekend!

****************



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Let's Redirect the Effort!

Well, by now you know that IBM built a computer they call "Watson," who was able to trample the two best Jeopardy players of all time. Wonderful. Great. Amazing. I'm sure there's a big demand out there for computers that can play Jeopardy.

I want to know when IBM will get serious about things? When are they going to develop a computer that will prepare my dinner, load the dishwasher and unload it, make my bed, and scrub the toilet?

I can't be the only person who would get much more excited about their accomplishment if that bunch of circuits could wash my floors.

An added bonus would be if it also could give me a lapdance, and maybe perform a few other domestic pursuits of a delicately personal nature!

So what do you say, IBM?  What are you waiting for?



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Basketball--My Guilty Pleasure!

I love basketball. I love to watch the games, whether it’s live or on tv. When I was in high school, I went to all the home games and some of the away games, and I never missed a tournament game. I went to my college’s games while a student there, even though it wasn’t one of the “big four” schools, and had a “so-so” record.

Later, when my oldest son played basketball while in high school, I went to nearly all of his games; I don’t think I missed any, even though he attended a private school that was a 45-minute drive from my home, and some of the away games meant traveling a couple of hours to get there. After high school, he played in a local league, and I went to several of those games, even though I was often one of only a half a dozen spectators. (and the only players mother attending!) Eventually, he moved to a different town to the north, and I moved to another town to the south, and I stopped going. But now his son, 8 years old , is playing, and I try to get to those games from time to time.

Then I started to watch the Boston Celtics games. I had watched some basketball on television in the days of Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Robert Parrish, but raising kids and correcting papers often got in the way, so my viewing was intermittent.

Since I retired 2 years ago, I don’t think I’ve missed more than one Celtics game. I’m in love. I love the action and the excitement. I love the skill and athleticism. I love watching alley-oop shots executed with finesse between Rajon Rondo and Kevin Garnett or Shaquille O’Neal.

                                          Rajon Rondo

                                           Kevin Garnett

Shaquille (Shaq) O'neal

 

I love seeing Paul Pierce make his fade-away jump shots

I love watching Ray Allen make 3-point shots with ease.  (He now holds the NBA record!) 

I love watching Kendrick Perkins grab those rebounds.

 

I love seeing Glen (Big Baby) Davis take a charge and land on the floor for his team (He leads the NBA in charges taken this year).

The Celtics are my team, but I have favorite players on other teams like Kobe Bryant of the L. A, Lakers, Dwight Howardof the Orlando Magic, and Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat. (Confession: those guys are favorites because they are excellent players and also happen to be gorgeous!)

                                      Kobe Bryant

                                                      Dwight Howard

Dwayne Wade

                           Yep!   Basketball is a sport that’s teeming with eye candy!

(Images credits to Wikipedia, the Players Fan Pages, The Urban Daily, and MovieEye.com)




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