Wednesday, November 30, 2011

New Word Wednesday #48

Every time I comment on a website where I have to type a word verification to get my comment posted, I can't help but think,  "What a waste!  What could possibly be a very helpful word is now going to disappear and never be seen again."

With all the attention being paid to "going green" in this country, I think it's time for bloggers to go green and recycle the letter combos used in word verification. (I personally did away with the process to eliminate the waste of words, but some people just aren't as conservation minded!)

I decided several weeks ago to start a meme called "New Word Wednesday", thus creating a dictionary of new words based on the letter combos that pop up in the word verification process. You may feel free to do the same, or to grab my words and use them. (You know, if you use a new word three times, it's in your vocabulary forever; at least that's what I've heard)

Just think, we can learn new words and go green just by recycling/reusing the words that show up at comment time.

Here are this week's words:

chalock:  (noun) an abbreviated chastity belt made to wear under a thong; as in, "Anna was fashionable but chaste and always wore her chalock when dating."

karoonpi:  (noun) a pie made from kangaroo meat and coconut which is considered to be a delicacy in the land down under; as in "No holiday meal would be complete in Australia without karoonpi for dessert."

refulac:  (noun)  a shortage of rubbish or refuse; as in, "With all the recycling taking place, one would expect the landfills would be suffering refulac."

ukiali:  (noun) slang term given to the alley near Pearl's house where Liza Bean Bitey's band Squeak Toy holds jam sessions; as in, "Squeak Toy was practicing for their next concert in ukiali, when the ukulele player snapped a string."

uncti:  (noun) a term of endearment for your parent's sibling who is transgendering; as in, "Uncti Pat was very active in the LGBT organization."

Don't forget--use a word three times in a sentence and it's in your vocabulary forever!


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

As Winter Approaches

As I look out at the gloomy sky, I know that this anomaly of no snow in southern Maine at the end of November will soon come to an end.  It's inevitable that the current temperature of 55 degrees will be replaced by temps between 30 and minus 10; the pine needles and leaves covering our lawn will be replaced by inches, if not feet (!) of the fluffy and sometimes not so fluffy white stuff.

So, I day dream of warmer climates and a home on the beach.

I could tolerate a few months in this Palm Beach 22,000 sq. ft. mansion with an 8 car garage, 2 ponds, a tennis court, and a swimming pool with a waterfall.

Or maybe this little $16.6 million dollar compound.....the rent couldn't be too bad for a couple of months or so, could it?

Of course the view is rather lovely from the deck of this modest 4 bedroom crib in Maui, with 100 feet of private beach frontage.

I'm not keen on flying, so maybe Maui is out.  But this little number in Rockport, Texas with it's multilevel pool and swim up bar wouldn't be too shabby...and I could drive there!

Sitting on the deck over-looking the Pacific in Malibu, California, would be tolerable....


Of course, I wouldn't want to get TOO much sun, so perhaps this Caribbean estate in St. Croix would be a better choice.  I could enjoy the views from the shade if I chose.

Of course, if I really want to be ON the water, this modest cottage in Charleston, South Carolina might be more to my taste.

Or maybe these digs in Bal Harbor, Florida, would suit me better?

Ah, who am I trying to kid?   I haven't won the lottery, so I might as well get used to the fact that this will be what I'm looking at this winter!

It is what it is!   No warm beaches in exclusive resorts for me!  More likely I'll be sitting in my recliner under my snuggie, waiting for spring!

If you would like to drool over more of the beach properties show above, click here, to go to the Forbes Beach Properties to Cure the Winter Blues Website.


Monday, November 28, 2011

I'm A Factory Defect!

It's that time of year when the rich go shopping and buy anything and everything for the lucky people on their guest list; when the creative come up with clever crafts for their cohorts.  I, unfortunately, don't fall in either category.  My budget is definitely a barrier to my being a showy shopper--and as for as the latter goes, I'm bringing back a post from 2009 on that topic!  (hope it's not familiar to too many of you!)

I have browsed the blogosphere and seen how some talented people make lovely quilts, manufacture  laundry soap, knit, crochet, scrap-book, carve or whittle, paint or sketch, and I feel terribly inadequate. I have come to the conclusion that I am crafting-impaired.

While some look at pine cones, driftwood, and seashells and see all sorts of beautiful possibilities, I look at the same items and I see pine cones, driftwood, and seashells. Campfire fodder comes to mind, and maybe the opportunity to hear the ocean, but that’s where my creative imagination begins and ends.

It’s not for lack of trying. I did sew some in my 30’s, but I think it was of necessity. I lived in a rural area, had few opportunities to go clothes shopping—no mall nearby and the time was pre-internet. As a result, if I wanted a new dress or whatever, it was up to me to stitch one up! Once my children were in school and I went back to the workplace, the desire to sew disappeared for lack of time and energy.

I did learn to crochet. I worked for months and made an afghan that was six feet long and eight inches wide. It was not very effective protecting me from the chill of winter. I guess I could have planted one foot on the end of it and wrapped it ‘round and ‘round me! I could have called it an afwrap! Or maybe a scarfghan!

I've been unable to craft anything gift-worthy.  Obviously, there is a crimp in my chromo-somes; a gap in my genes; a defect in my DNA. Admitting imperfection is, at best, awkward. And now the cyber-world knows! I am doomed to ignominy on the internet.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

We're still eating turkey, so I decided to rerun a post from August of 2010 on the chance that it will be new to some of you.  Hopefully, if it's not new to you, you won't mind seeing it again.  This place is one of my absolute favorite places to eat!

In Skowhegan, Maine there's a family restaurant that serves some of the best food in the staIte!  It's called Ken's and is owned by Randy Dionne and his wife Monique.  Ken's Family Restaurant was originally started by his dad, but the legacy is safe in the hands of Randy and Monique.  The picture below show's Randy and Monique in the center with their sons Darren and Nathan on each side.  It's not a new photo; the boys are now college age.

Randy does much of the cooking and supervises the kitchen, while Monique manages the wait staff, serves as hostess when she can, and performs many other tasks that help make the place a success.  Besides her work in the family business, Monique is an avid biker and has for many years taken part in the Trek Across Maine, a 3-day, 175-mile across Maine and has raised thousands of dollars for the American Lung Association of Maine.

Getting back to the Restaurant, home cooking is their specialty, and they do it up right!  The menu is varied.  You can browse the burgers, sample the seafood, chow down on the chicken, or drool over the desserts.  There's something there for everyone and it's all good!

On our last visit I had the boneless fried chicken, which is one of their specialties.  It comes with coleslaw and fries, but I elected to substitute salad for fries.  Unfortunately, I started to munch on the salad before I remembered to photograph it

It was really a nice salad before I domolished it!  Sorry about that.

Scrumptious boneless fried chicken, coleslaw, and cranberry sauce.

My brother decided to try their double cheeseburger.  It comes with two patties covered with melted cheese side by side on a sub roll,  with your choice of fries or onion rings.  He opted for the onion rings, as you can see, an excellent choice.

 The amazing thing is their fried foods are not the least bit greasy!  They are crisp and tasty without a hint of fat.  Monique says the secret is they use fresh oil everyday.  (whoops, I hope I wasn't supposed to keep that to myself!)

Hubby went for the broiled haddock, topped with a little butter and breadcrumbs, accompanied by REAL mashed potatoes and turnip.  (I apologize that the small loaves of dark bread served with all meals were gobbled up before I could catch a photo!)

 I have to eat at Ken's whenever I am in Skowhegan.  The visit previous to this, I wanted to keep lunch light, as we had eaten a big breakfast.  I ordered the chicken salad plate and was not disappointed.  They also have a delicious fancy fried chicken, which we have taken home with us more than once.

Every year, Ken's has a booth at the Skowhegan State Fair.  Those onion rings, boneless fried chicken, and fried clams are popular with the fair goers!  If you ever make it to Skowhegan, you absolutely have to stop at Ken's.  It's heaven for your tummy!


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Saturday Silliness

Wisdom from Grandpa.

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earning his salt that he forgets his sugar.

When a man marries a woman, they become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, make beds, is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders!



Yesterday my son asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. He suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the girls. I did this and when I got home last night I told him that I had joined a parachute club.

He said "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed him that I even got a membership card.

He said to me, "You are crazy, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.


A 30 year old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first time.  With no lessons, nor prior experience, she mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle..

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.  Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.


Friday, November 25, 2011

Love is Where You Find It #12

If you missed Chapter 11, click here.

If you would like to start at chapter 1, click here.

As she stood in the doorway of the atrium, Addie spotted Michael sitting on a bench waiting for her.  He was wearing the blue V-neck sweater that emphasized his eyes, a blue-and-white checkered shirt, and a pair of tan khakis.  He smiled a broad grin when he looked up and saw her.  Then he stood to greet her with both hands extended as she walked toward him.

“I feel like I’ve just been paroled from a white collar penitentiary,” he said, as he took her hands in his.  “How about you?”

“It is a heady feeling, being sprung.”

“So what’s the verdict?  Are you coming to stay at my house?”  Michael waited expectantly for her answer.

“If you’re sure it won’t be too much of an imposition. . .”

Before she could complete the sentence, he enfolded her in a bear hug.  “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a while,” he muttered into her hair.   Then he stepped back, looked her in the eye and said, “I promise to be a gentleman and respect your wishes.  But I’m so glad not to be going back to that rambling house alone!”

A smile spread across her face as she answered, “Okay, then; I’ll do it.”

Michael instructed her to gather her things and meet him at the entrance to Langdon as soon as she was ready, and then with a quick kiss, they left the atrium to go back to their respective rooms.  Addie picked up her overnight bag and walked down the hall to the facility entrance. 

Within minutes, Michael appeared with his suitcase and they walked arm-in-arm through the automated doors.  Realizing she had no idea where they were going or how they were getting there, Addie turned to Michael with a questioning look.

“I’ve got it covered,” he responded to her silent inquiry.  A burly looking young man with a shiny, shaved head wearing a black turtleneck and black jeans came forward and took their bags from them.  To Adelaide’s surprise, he proceeded to drop them into the trunk of a white Lincoln Town Car.  “Ben, this is Mrs. Cunningham.  She is going to be my houseguest.  Addie, this is Ben, my driver.”

Addie’s jaw dropped open when Ben nodded and opened the door to the vehicle, exposing the plush interior.  The car wasn’t a recent model, but it had obviously been carefully restored to its original elegance.   She stepped inside and slid across the seat to make room for Michael.  He slid in beside her and chuckled at the expression on her face. 

“I guess I didn’t mention that I had a driver.  Ben has been with me for three years, now.  He takes care of the grounds outside the house and transports me whenever I have to go somewhere.  My reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and for safety reasons, I gave up driving myself when he came looking for a job.  His father was a business associate of mine in Italy and he wanted Benito to live in this country.  I provide him with  his own apartment above my garage in exchange for his services.”

This turned out to be one of many surprises in store for Adelaide that day.  The Town Car traveled across the city and into the outlying areas where trees were more abundant and cement and bricks were less frequent.  Finally, after several turns, they arrived at an elegantly fashioned wrought iron gate.  Ben reached up to press a button on a remote control device on the visor above the windshield, and the gate swung open, allowing them entry to a winding paved driveway lined with stately elm trees.  As the gate closed and locked behind them, Addie noticed autumn touch on the trees, having turned the most of the green leaves to various shades of yellow and a gold.

Ahead of them was an imposing structure with white siding, black shutters and a double door entryway in the midst of a rosy brick fa├žade.  There were lovely green hedges edged with huge chrysanthemums in shades of red and gold.  If Ben is responsible for the grounds, then he has a green thumb and an eye for beauty, thought Addie.  The house looked like something out of Better Homes and Gardens, or maybe Architectural Digest!

(to be continued)


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Winner, Winner, Enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner!

We have a winner in last week's caption contest!

"Act casual. Let me do the talking."


Al is one of the funniest guys in blogland!  If you've never visited Al before, click on his name and give yourself a treat.  His blog is habit forming.  He tells great tales of his childhood that will have you rolling on the floor.    Even the comments he makes on my blog posts are hilarious.  Good job, Al!



Wednesday, November 23, 2011

New Word Wednesday #47

Every time I comment on a website where I have to type a word verification to get my comment posted, I can't help but think,  "What a waste!  What could possibly be a very helpful word is now going to disappear and never be seen again."

With all the attention being paid to "going green" in this country, I think it's time for bloggers to go green and recycle the letter combos used in word verification. (I personally did away with the process to eliminate the waste of words, but some people just aren't as conservation minded!)

I decided several weeks ago to start a meme called "New Word Wednesday", thus creating a dictionary of new words based on the letter combos that pop up in the word verification process. You may feel free to do the same, or to grab my words and use them. (You know, if you use a new word three times, it's in your vocabulary forever; at least that's what I've heard)

Just think, we can learn new words and go green just by recycling/reusing the words that show up at comment time.

Here are this week's words:

augoido:  (noun)  a medication prescribed for the treatment of a goiter, as in, "Aunt Thelma's goiter became so large her physician suggested augoido therapy."

derfuzz:  (noun)  a slang term for policemen; as in, "Waldo was arrested by derfuzz when he robbed the convenience store."

exanti:  (noun) the former spouse of a divorced uncle; as in, "No one was sure whether to invite both Uncle Don and exanti for the holiday gathering."

piefeola:  (noun)  an annual celebration of the goodness of pies, usually held between Valentines Day and Patriots' Day; as in, (The women's auxilliary usually starting baking and freezing pies the day after Valentines Day in preparation for the Piefeola."
psychship:  (noun)  a vessel ship reserved for the transport of mental patients with a fear of bridges; as in "When it was time to transfer Zelda from a hopital on the upper peninsula of Michigan to the lower peninsula, she was placed on board the psychship."

Remember, use a word in a sentence three times and it's in your vocabulary forever!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Ideas For Your Gift List

With Black Friday looming on the horizon, many of you will be planning your shopping list for Holiday Gifts, whether you're buying for Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah,  I have some ideas you may find helpful:

1.  Every body has someone on their list who already has everything.  This could pose a dilemma, but no more.  How about giving them one square inch of land in all 50 states?  It's possible starting at $3.95 for one square inch in one state, up to   $19.95 for land in all 50 states.  Imagine...being able to give them their own little "estate" in Hawaii!  Click here for more information.

2.   Is there an ice hockey fan or an ice skater on your list?  For just $19.95 you can present them with their own Zamboni Desk Vacuum!   This little gadget will zip around their desk or workbench sucking up all those little bits of lint, dust, or sawdust.  Plus it will leave them thinking they are in the front row at the ice rink!
For more information click here.

3.  For the person who loves to go all out with Christmas decorations, how about some Santa Claus toilet paper.  For a mere $3.95, what a festive way to bring cheer to someone who might otherwise have a crappy Christmas!  For more information, click here.

4.  For the perv on your list, the Jingle Bells Bobble Babe Can Cooler is just the ticket!  For just $7.95, this hot babe will keep his drink cold, plus he can watch her jingle right through to the New Year!

5.  The perfect choice for the child on your list?  The Pooping Reindeer Candy Dispenser!   This is guaranteed to make that pre-teen boy giggle hysterically...especially if you fill it with chocolate covered raisins or Milk Duds.
Or maybe a Pooping Polar Bear would be your choice?  Just $5.49 will purchase either.  For more information, click here.

6.  For the man who likes to make a fashion statement....the Undercap:  Underpants for your head!  Whether the goal to to keep the sun off his noggin or to keep the cold of his roof, what guy wouldn't love a pair of tighty-whiteys for his head.  There are a fashion bargain at $7.95!  For more information, click here.

7.  For the person in your life who loves jigsaw puzzles, this Puzzle Clock at $50 is sure to bring a smile to his/her face!   The pieces can be rearranged, too; how's that for uniqueness?  For more information, click here.

8.  For that couple who goes everywhere together?  The Umbrella that's built for two!  At $50, you can kill two birds with one stone--I mean cross two gift recipients off your list at once!  For more information, click here.

9.  For the wine lover on your list, here's the perfect option.   It's called the Corksicle.  The recipient places the Corksicle in the freezer for a couple of hours and the gel inside the "icicle" freezes.  Insert the cork into a bottle of wine after the first glass has been poured, and your are guaranteed the bottle will stay chilled !
Make the wine lover or wino on your list happy for $22.95.   For more information, click here.

10.  And last, but not least, if you insist on buying that man a tie, make it one which is truly unique and manly.  The video tells it all!  And the price for that is $33.99!

I hope you found my suggestions helpful.  They are all real products available online by clicking on the links provided.  Plus, you may find more ideas available at those websites!   You're welcome.


Monday, November 21, 2011

Where's My Basketball?

This is the time of year when a minimum of 3 nights per week, I should be lounging in my recliner and watching my favorite basketball team, the Boston Celtics.   It's my favorite sport to watch, and I'm really ticked off about the NBA lockout!  I wish they would just suck it up and find some common ground and make a deal!  I miss  my guys, KG, Paul, Ray, Rajon, Big Baby, and the rest of the team.  This lockout is creating a big void in my entertainment this fall.

So, we went to see the fourth graders play.

That's my 9 year-old grandson dribbling on the right.

And that's him about to pass off to a teammate.

His team lost, this time, but they played hard!

Hey, it's not exactly the NBA, but I have to get my basketball fix where I can!


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sundays in My Neck of the Woods

Portland House of Pizza located at 1459 Washington Avenue in Portland, Maine, is a pretty darn good place to eat.  Opened in 1988, the restaurant started with a small location and a small menu.  As their clientele increased, they soon found it necessary to move a couple of doors down the street to their current, larger location. 

 The restaurant can accommodate up to 70 diners on site, and they do a large takeout business.  It's a clean and comfortable place to eat.  You  place your order at the counter and pick it and take it to your table when your number is called.

Mr. Eva chose to have a Genoa Italian Sandwich.  This came with Genoa salami, provolone cheese, tomatoes, onions, peppers, pickles, olives, and shredded lettuce loaded into a fresh, crispy roll.  (He actually would call this a Hoagie;  in his book, an Italian sandwich does not have lettuce.)  He said it was good, but he wished he hadn't asked them to skip the oil, because it seemed a little dry.

To me, eating pizza is like having sex; there's no such thing as a bad one--just some are better than others.  This, while maybe not the absolute best pizza I've ever had, it certainly was a cut way above better than most.  They make their dough fresh every day and stretch it fairly thin with a nice crunchy ridge around the outside.  They don't skimp on sauce, either!  (Some places just use a hint of sauce, which I find annoying.  The pizza sauce is one of the best parts of the pizza. )  Lots of mozzarella and cheddar cheese with pepperoni on top made for a very tasty pie!

If you aren't in the mood for pizza, there is a variety of choices on the menu, including salads, pasta, many sandwich choices, and calzones.  I wouldn't hesitate to visit again and try some of the other menu items I saw.

We left Portland House of Pizza with full bellies and a happy feeling!  If you would like to visit their website, check out their menu, etc., click here.

Note:  I was not compensated for this review; we paid for our meal and the opinions expressed are mine and Mr. Eva's only.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Saturday Silliness

No Mushrooms!

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others.  She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.  She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms?  There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."

He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK." So Janet decided to give it a try.  She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.  Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.  Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve.  After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes.  About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."

Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.  The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Janet, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped!


The Golfer's Wedding

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"


The Race to the Vatican

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola,
whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year
Timothy was born in Ireland , Antonio was born in Italy .

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through
their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the
priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally
acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above
Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally
Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew
that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who
would become the next Pope.

In time, the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.
In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the
chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn
that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even
with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private
session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man
and rose to reply.

"We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called


Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out.  Both were very faithful and loving wives.  However, they had been over-enthusiastic on the "Bacardi breezers."

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.  One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.  Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.  She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.  After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:  "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....
'From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you.' "


Subject: A Blonde and Her Dog...

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink..

Twenty  minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?"

The blonde said it was hers.

"Your dog seems to be in heat," the officer said.

The blonde replied, "No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that
shade tree."

The policeman said, "No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."

'No way,' said the blonde. "My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry
'cause I fed her this mornin."

The exasperated policeman said, "NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!"

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog."

Have a great Weekend!