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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Random Bits

Sometimes thoughts come to me that just don't warrant a full blog post.  (Okay, you're thinking none of my thoughts warrant a full blog post--Thanks!)

Today I thought I'd just ramble about some of those thoughts:

I needed some new undies and went shopping for some.  (no, not at Victoria's Secret; she doesn't carry my size, I'm sure!)  I didn't want the kind that have the days of the week on them, because I could get confused.  And then, too, it's embarrassing when someone asks you what day it is, and you have to pull up your skirt and check your underwear for the answer!  And heaven forbid you be wearing the wrong ones on the wrong day!

 Well, I bought some in lovely pastel colors and when I got home, I examined the package a little more closely.   I read, "These panties are so smooth and fit so well, no one will know you are wearing any."  Now I'm not sure that's a good idea.  If people think someone my age isn't wearing any panties, they'll probably run around draping their furniture with towels or plastic, for fear I'll cough, sneeze, or laugh and drop a puddle behind me!  I may have to have a special button made that says, "Don't be fooled, yes I'm wearing underwear--your furniture is safe!"

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We have so much ice on our driveway and walk that I practically need to be wearing skates when I step outside.  The only problem with that plan is I never learned how to skate!  Maybe I just need stuff the seat and knees of my pants with Charmin so if I slip and fall, I'll be protected.  Or not;  I have sufficient natural padding in my seat already, I suspect!

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I broke the news to Mr. Eva today.  During the 27 years we've been married, I have had a secret stash where I keep my 'mad money.'  That's so if I get mad at him and decide to leave him, I'll have the means.  So far, I've accumulated $1.00.  

 I know, you're thinking "Twenty-seven years and all she's saved is one dollar?)  During the honeymoon phase of our marriage, I didn't see a need for 'mad money.'   But, last month when the honeymoon officially ended, I started my stash.  Extra cash is hard to come by in this economy!  I sure hope he doesn't make me that mad too soon.  What I have now will barely cover the first turnpike toll I'd encounter!

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Enough random bits for today!

EVA

18 comments:

Terri Sonoda said...

Ah Eva, I just love your "Random Bits". The underwear part was hilarious. I had a taxing day at work and to come home and get such a fun chuckle (along with my big glass of wine) was fabulous. Thanks for the laughs!

Brian Miller said...

smiles...so the honeymoon just ended...i think you will be ok...smiles...

Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane said...

Thanks for your bits and pieces, undies and all! It reminded me of my Black Hole day last week, when I ended up with a post of bits and pieces I called Black Hole soup - just throw in whatever is on hand. You never know how it will turn out.

May you never save more than a buck in mad money!

Bossy Betty said...

I gotta get some of those days of the week underwear. I like the idea of checking them when I am unsure. That dollar might just come in handy. Sometimes all you need is candy and then you can walk back into the marriage a lot happier.

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Everything is funnier with wine!

Footloose: Sounds like I'm not the only one with random thoughts! And thanks.

Kristina P. said...

I just read that a 99 year-old Italian man, filed for divorce after 77 years of marriage to his 96 year-old wife. I hope she had a mad money stash.

Suldog said...

The panties stuff made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that!

As for the mad money, it sounds like something my father used to say...

"If it took five dollars to go to Paris, I wouldn't have enough to get to Chelsea."

Helene said...

I absolutely love your posts about random stuff! I always wondered that about underwear. Why would you want people to assume you're not wearing any? I mean, isn't that kind of gross, esp if you're wearing a skirt?

Your explanation about not wearing those "days of the week" underwear cracked me up.

rosaria said...

So, what did he do to put a stop on the honeymoon?

Alene said...

Oh my word. I am cracking up! Love the "panties" random bits! Panty shopping is a pain in the -- well you know. Thanks for the smiles today! Your comment at the blog made me smile. No telling what that Commander thought when he saw "those" panties!!!

Sue said...

Your random bits were big hits with me!

=)

Nancy Thompson said...

Oh, Eva, I love your bits! They're hilarious!! More please. Much, much more!!

Al Penwasser said...

Hey, if you stuff your drawers with Bounty, it can suck up the ice off the driveway. Isn't it the "quicker picker-upper"?
@Nancy: how come you get to see her bits?

One Bad Pixie said...

No matter how much extra, natural 'padding' we seem to have, TRUST ME when I say-

It is NEVER in the right spot when you need it!

EVER!

Dammit!

Jen said...

Eva, you are clever!!! I knew there must be a reason I had not seen "days -of the -week" under wear in...."just my size"!!

Pat said...

Funny stuff! Do they still MAKE days-of-the-week underwear? Huh. They need to make them with the print upside down so that the wearer can read it! As a reminder of what day it is every time they pee!

injaynesworld said...

A delightful collection of odds and ends, my friend. I love that you've been on a 27 year honeymoon.

My best to Mr. Eva!

Hugs...

Eva Gallant said...

Pixie: You are undoubtedly right!

Jen: Thanks, Sis!