Saturday, January 28, 2012

Saturday Silliness

Women's Code Translated:

Fine" - This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes" - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing" - This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Weather Indicator

To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.

But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.

Sincerely, The CAT 


A Basic Truth

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it. 


And Last But Not Least--

Irrefutable proof that a good woman can bring balance and stability to your life.




River said...

I'v always liked the Women's Code one, but I laughed out loud at the dog weather and those laughing cats.

Sue said...

The Women's Code is right on!


Brian Miller said...

lol these were funny this morning...hey i know a few that drive tractors like that...smiles...and the womens code...i need further translation to understand...smiles.

Beelzebug said...

At least she's balancing things out :)

islandwonder said...

I agree with the cats.

JennyMac said...

haha..."Go ahead."

Have a great weekend Eva!

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Oh, that tractor!! Priceless. You rock, Eva.

SherilinR said...

i like that there's an eyebrow differentiation. it's true though!

Jen said...

Love the women's code!!!!

Al Penwasser said...

And never, never, NEVER fall for the old "Does [insert item here] make me look fat?" trick.

Eva Gallant said...

islandwonder: Not a dog-lover, I take it! lol

Dawn: Thanks!

Jen: It had so much truth to it!

Terri Sonoda said...

All the jokes were cute, but that Cat/dog one just cracked me up. LOVEd it. Thanks Eva!

Eva Gallant said...

Terri: Thanks! And I'm having a pretty good weekend; went to see "One for the Show" at the movies. Fun flick.

injaynesworld said...

OMG! That tractor shot is hilarious! Where do you find these things? :)

Eva Gallant said...

Jayne: I have friends who are kind enough to think of me when they are surfing the net or receiving funny emails.