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Saturday, February 4, 2012

Saturday Silliness

A Bevy of Blonde Jokes Today!  (No offense to any blonde readers!)

The Seven Degrees of Blondness:

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.' 


SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'


THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' 


FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W.' 



FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?' 



SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'



SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond..

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 

'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' 




EVA

13 comments:

Adam said...

I like the 3rd one

River said...

I know it's "politically incorrect", but I love these kinds of jokes! You could substitute "blonde" with almost anything else and they'd still be funny.

Christopher said...

hahahahahaha

Brian Miller said...

lol...you are obviously feeling back to yourself a bit...smiles.

Nick said...

Chuckle!

Laurie Kolp said...

OK, now I'm blonde! (still these are funny)

Nancy Thompson said...

HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for the delightful giggle this morning!!

Sue said...

Best blond jokes I've ever seen!

Especially the Roe v. Wade one. And the blind cop.

=D

Ruth said...

Very funny!

Eva Gallant said...

Adam: It is a good one!

Christopher: glad I could give you a laugh!

Nick: Just one chuckle?

Ruth: Thanks!

SherilinR said...

it's not just blondes who are stupid, but i love a good dumb person joke.

Pat said...

These are great! I will definitely have to share these with my friends!

The Frisky Virgin said...

Okay, I laughed my rear end off. Those videos (I don't know what you call them) are hilarious.