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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saturday Silliness

The Inventor
 He went to the Patent Office trying to register some of his inventions.  He went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.   She wrote down his personal info and then asked him what he had invented.




He said, "A folding bottle"

 She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"
"A Fottle." 




"What else do you have?"

 "I have also invented a folding carton."

Again she said "What do you call it?"
 "A Farton."

 
She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."

He was so upset by her comment that he grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about his folding bucket.
*******************
Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the North Saskatchewan River
As you may have seen on the news it's been very cold in Alberta ...
So cold, in fact, that the Government of Alberta has borrowed a Norwegian Icebreaker to clear the North Saskatchewan River for freighter traffic.
The Icebreaker is starting near Devon and working its way northward. Here is a picture as the hard work of ice breaking begins. Impressive!
**************
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me. 
  Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!
  I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.
  I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.
I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.
Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
The coffee machine is broken...
Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot...
... in Jesus' name. Amen."
**************
Surgery
 A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she
 wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because over the years they have
 become loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of
 course, the surgeon agreed.

 Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her
 on the bed. Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.

 "I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!

 The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
 that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went
 through this all by yourself."

 "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
 understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time├»¿½ ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new
 ears."
****************
EVA

10 comments:

Brian Miller said...

his new ears....omg...that slays...lol....nice...happy saturday eva!

Adam said...

funny stuff

Jen said...

Love the "ice breaker"!Good ones, Eva

Ruth said...

Folding bucket! :)

Debbie said...

The folding bucket!! My favorite! Where do you get this stuff Eva!! Hilarious!

rosaria said...

You kill us!

Eva Gallant said...

Adam: Glad you enjoyed it!

Jen: A naked man? You would!!

Debbie: family and friends send them to me specifically for Saturday Silliness!

Sue said...

That first one is classic!

=)

IASoupMama said...

Very funny! And I'm glad my six-year-old wasn't reading over my shoulder. Thanks for stopping by the other day -- hope you're having a super weekend!

River said...

Oh that poor icebreaker!