Followers

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Saturday Silliness



Jonah and the Whale

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, " Then you ask him."


**********************

Artist At Work
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

 *****************



The Commandment for Sibling Safety
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to ' honour ' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ' Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters? '

From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ' Thou shall not kill. '


********************




Memories

    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or "That's Michael, he's a doctor."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

**************





Eyes on You!

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE.  God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.."


************************

EVA

11 comments:

Phạm Minh Tâm said...

( Thank blog for you great - http://www.vatinam.net )

River said...

"no one knows what God looks like."
"They will in a minute."

I love that! And the cookies, "god is watching the apples."

kids say the darnedest things.

Karen and Gerard said...

I really like these jokes and tweeted this and also shared on Facebook! Thanks for the laughs!

Brian Miller said...

haha we need these for sunday...smiles...lol...then you ask him...now that kid knows a thing or two...lol....

Joanne said...

Undaunted kids! Gotta love them.

ipenka said...

Apple one was great! Wonder if I can use that one somehow in real life...

Terri Sonoda said...

These were precious. Especially love the one ending in "They will in a minute." LMAO. Awesome stuff Eva!

Sue said...

Cute!

=)

Reeni said...

These are hilarious and adorable all at the same time Eva!

Pat said...

I love them! I can truly see kids saying these things!

Mrs4444 said...

Came over by way of Karen Zemeck's recommendation.Loved the cute jokes. Thanks for the smiles :)