Thursday, June 21, 2012

Senior Relationship Breakers

I saw a video on Yahoo that was a clip from Bethenny Frankel's Talk Show.  I've never watched the show, and this was just a short segment where she and two female guests were talking about "Relationship Breakers."  All they talked about in the clip was penis size, but it got me thinking about what might be relationship breakers for women over 60  "mature" women who might be single and back in the dating game. 

All you young 'uns out there don't realize what we older women have to think about.  Now I happen to be very happy with Mr. Eva, but not all women out there still have the love of their lives.  Some are widows, some are divorcees, and some are ex-nuns.

I decided to make a list of what would be relationship breakers if I were dating:

1.  He has to take his teeth out to eat.  I have nothing against dentures, but I'd prefer not to have them staring at me from the dining room table when were having home or in a restaurant!

2.  He's a smoker.  I'm not fond of smoking anyway, but at our age, it can be a fire hazard if he forgets where he left the darn thing!

3.  He needs to have his food put through a blender before he can ingest it.  (See #1.)

4.  He asks to borrow my Spanx.  Sharing undergarments with my date is not a big turn-on.  (I don't even own Spanx, but if he wants to wear such a thing, he's either too vain or a cross-dresser.)

5.  He shows me his Viagra prescription on the first date.  (I know at our age, our days may be numbered, but please!  It's rather presumptuous!)

6.  He still lives with his mother.  (That's a no-no at any age!)

Feel free to add your own ideas in the spectator shouts section below!


Terri Sonoda said...

Ha Ha "he still lives with his mother". My "mother-in-law" is the stuff of which nightmares are made. I am serious. She stayed with us three weeks while my partner was ill and I thought I'd lose my freaking mind. LOL

I sure hope my new daughter-in-law doesn't feel that way about me...but you never know.

Stephen Hayes said...

I don't have any to add, but I laughed heartily at the ones you've listed.

Roly Clu said...

LOL All would be serious deflators.

Brian Miller said...

haha...just think how easy it would be to cook for him if it was a liquid diet though....

Al Penwasser said...

Let's see...
#1: Still have my teeth.
#2: I don't smoke. Although I may smoke after sex. I just never looked.
#3: Do critters in the backyard count?
#4: If he likes Spanx, that's okay with me. Especially if he was a very naughty boy.
#5: WARNING: Old joke which is not mine ahead. Just don't take it orally. He'll get a stiff neck. But, sidebar, your honor? A boner for four frikkin' hours???? Methinks someone wants to impress someone.
#6: But, she makes killer cookies.
Incidentally, I have no idea who the frik Bethenny Frankel is. She's like that Amazonian black woman....Wendy something or other....? How do these nobodys/never weres get there own shows? That's it-Penwasser Place is going into syndication!

Brenda Lee said...

LMAO These are FABULOUS!! I'm glad I'm still in my 40's and married and hopefully won't have to think about this for many more years to come! :) said...

you never cease to make me laugh!

injaynesworld said...

LOL!!! You've come up with all the reasons why I'm single and planning to stay that way. Dating? I've rather chew on glass. :)

Sue said...

Too funny.

And that cartoon is hilarious!


agapewoman said...

Too funny, I can't think of anything else...well asking me to trim your toe nails would be a "senior relationship breaker"!

The Frisky Virgin said...

LOL--How I've missed reading your posts! LOL All would definitely be deal breakers. Smoking is on my list of no-way's. Have you ever kissed a smoker? Yeah, it's not pleasant for a non-smoker, even if he does try to mask it with mints, which then becomes this minty-smoke mix. Talk about testing my gag reflex.

Charlotte said...

I love the cartoon. Perfect list of rejects. Just like Frisky Virgin, I hate kissing a smoker. I only did it once and I opened the car door afterwards and threw-up.

River said...

I'm single again after two divorces, but there's no way I'm back on the dating trail! Noway, nohow, nosirree Bob! Enough is enough. For all the reasons you've listed and a few extras.
Hogging the TV.
Picky about what to eat. (I'll eat anything...hah! he didn't). Needing a beer desperately and the beer quickly becoming several dozen.
And so on.
Plus I'm happy on my own.

Alli said...

Well... I don't think I qualify as a mature woman on this particular occasion, but smoking and living with his mom are definitely NOs in my book.

Pat said...

You had some good ones, as did your followers. Perhaps if the person wore "Depends", uh, yeah, that would be a turn off!