Monday, June 18, 2012

Why Men Are Seldom Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People -
 What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
 Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
 One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
(I wish I could take credit for the above, but it came to me on email, and I just had to share!)


Stephen Hayes said...

Funny, but there's lots of truth here. Men and women are just so different.

River said...

I haven't actually counted the items in my bathroom, but I'm pretty sure I don't have 337.
This one really grates on me: Same work, more pay.

Brian Miller said...

haha...i am not sure what soap or shaving cream are but...i need more things in my bathroom obviously....some fun stuff here eva....and true in many ways...smiles.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Actually, as a guy who works out, women do stare at my chest sometimes. And no, I don't have man boobs (or moobs). At least I hope I don't.

Angie said...

Everything said in this post describes all of my brothers! (Imagine growing up in a house the youngest child and only girl lol.)

Terri Sonoda said...

Some people might say, "Viva la difference!" Not me. Just some people. LOL. Fun post!

Pearl said...

All perfectly true!


rosaria williams said...

I vote for the number of items I woman needs in her bathroom!

Paloma said...


Sue said...

This is great. Have to show it to my hubby.


Pat said...

this is great! I will have to share it with my husband, too!

Aging Gal said...

I must admit I now get my hair cut at SuperCuts because I want a haircut priced on par with a man's cut!

Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

Lol, thank you for starting my Monday with a very true :)

Unknown Mami said...

I'd say it sounds pretty accurate.

Magical Mystical MiMi said...

Absolutely loved this and so, so true! Oh and by the way, you have an evil group of followers. 666. ;)

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