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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Making a Spectacle of Myself


Three months ago, I had an eye exam and received a prescription for new glasses.  It had been nearly 4 years since my last eye exam, so I was not surprised the time had come for a change.  I usually take my prescription to Lenscrafters in the mall and get my new glasses in an hour at a reasonable price.  This year, there's a new optician office in town, a national chain with only two branches in Maine advertising special prices on glasses and sunglasses, far below what I am accustomed to paying.

Being retired and living on a fixed income, I decided to give the new guys a try.  I gave them my prescription, selected frames to my liking and was told that in 3 hours I could come back and pick up my new glasses with the progressive lenses (the bifocals that don't have a visible line between the distance and close up vision areas) and a pair of prescription sunglasses for the affordable price of $198.00.   What a deal!  Three years ago I paid more than that just for 1 pair of glasses with the progressive lenses!



For you young 'uns out there....your day is coming.  Soon after age 40 you're going to need bifocals or reading glasses.  The great thing about progressive lenses is because that line of demarcation is invisible, no one needs to know you are old enough to need bifocals--especially, if like me, nature, chocolate, and pizza have plumped out your wrinkles you have natural botox.

 Actually, I was skeptical that such a bargain price would get me quality eyewear; I kept waiting for   the shit to hit the fan the deficiency in these cheapass inexpensive glasses to appear.  Sure enough, yesterday after my twice-a-week nooner , I reached for my glasses and the expected had occurred.  They were bent; so crooked that on the right side of my head that part that usually rests on your ear was about a half inch high.  I removed them and set them down on the table, and saw they were indeed warped, big time!  I was angry!  It's been less than three months and those sub-par spectacles were totally askew!

I returned to the off-price opticians', determined they would either fix them or replace them!  When my turn to be served came up ("There's a sign in sheet on the counter."), I marched up to that counter ready to give that guy what for! 

 Me:  My glasses are totally screwed up, and I've only had them 2 months!  (I hand the man the beat-up, bent bifocals with disgust.)




 Clerk:  (after skeptically scanning said spectacles)  I'm sorry, but we can't adjust glasses that we didn't sell.

Me:  (becoming indignant) But you did sell me these.

Clerk:  (once again giving the goggles a gander) Are you sure you purchased those here?  Because if you didn't and they break during adjustment, we won't have replacement frames here.

Me:  You certainly do have replacements here!  I bought these here 2 months ago; I paid $198.00 for these and a pair of prescription sunglasses.

Clerk:  I'm taking your word for it, now.  I'll see what I can do.

He heated the bow or side piece, re-shaped it and gave the glasses back to me to try on.

Me:  Oh, that's much better!  Thank you. (Rather abruptly, since he implied that I was lying about my lenses)

When I returned to the car and related the experience to Mr. Eva, he asked, "Are you sure those are your new glasses and not the old ones?"

"Of course, they're my new glasses.  I know the difference.  These are smaller than my old ones!"  I retorted with disgust.  Not only did the nitwit behind the counter doubt me, but now my husband was doubting me, too, adding insult to injury!

"It's just that the lenses are looking a little darker, and your new ones don't have transitional lenses,"
reminded Mr. Eva.

"The lenses are not darker, and I know these  are my new glasses.  I just can't believe they're already wearing out.  You get what you pay for, I guess." 

Twenty minutes later, we were home, and I sat in my recliner.  There was a pair of glasses on the mini-table between my recliner and Mr. Eva's.  I picked them up and looked at them; yep, they were my new glasses.  My old ones I'd bought 4 years ago at Lenscrafters were nicely adjusted and sitting on my nose!    Egg on my face, much?  Now I have to go back and apologize to the nice clerk who was so helpful, despite my bitchiness!  (Not to mention I have to hear the "I told you so's" from Mr. Eva!)



EVA

17 comments:

Linda Kish said...

Thanks for the great laugh. I needed that. I love reading your stories. It makes me know I am not alone in all of this.

Alessandra said...

You're way too funny, I need to come here more often, like every day. $198 does sound awful cheap for two pairs of glasses, I would wait a little before you go back to the clerk, you never know....

Stephen Hayes said...

An honest mistake, but one that makes for a funny story.

River said...

Ha Ha! This reminds me of the day years ago when I picked up a pair of glasses from the dining table and tried to put them on, only to find I was already wearing my glasses. The ones I'd picked up were my daughter's, a very similar pair in shape, size and colour.

Brian Miller said...

haha....i am glad the clerk helped you out regardless...and i want to hear about the return visit...smiles...

Al Penwasser said...

When I could no longer read the small print on navigational charts, I was told I needed new glasses (for some reason, people felt being able to read navigational charts was important). Anyway, my new progressive lenses magnified everything to make reading easier (this you know). In essence, they made everything look BIGGER. So, was it any wonder I spent hours standing in front of a urinal?rinal. I was amazed.

Trina44 said...

Oh no, what a great story, I've had a lot of moments like that too!

Muffy's Marks said...

Grrrrrrrrr I just hate when that happens. Oh well, change the subject when Mr. Eve brings it up, or better yet, huh? him a lot. He'll think you're losing you hearing as well.

Brenda said...

LMAO Oh my, this is great! :)

Kimberly said...

OMFG...this is so hilarious. This is something that I would totally do and I'm in my 30's. I blame the boy child who sucked out all the smart.

Terri Sonoda said...

Hi Eva. I loved this. It sounds just like me. You and I have things in common for sure! Laughing about it is the best thing. I'd just love to be a fly on the wall when you go back to apologize. So cute....

Lisa said...

That was too funny. Those are probably the kind I will be getting next year...Too many reading glasses everywhere.

Pat said...

Don't you just hate when you're wrong? If you are like me, it doesn't happen very often! Ha ha! I don't know if I would go so far as to apologize to that young man, though! He'll forget about it by the time you need to go back for your next check up, or probably won't even be working there anymore!

misssrobin said...

Nice! Thanks for sharing.

Sue said...

Good for you, going back to thank him!

=)

Joe said...

lol that was funny

bettyl said...

I guess it happens to all of us sooner or later! Great post--I had a good laugh!