Followers

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Saturday Silliness



After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed
him -- and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" I asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This
is Mike," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past
half-hour."
*************************

*******************
Why I Like Retirement !!!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.


Question:
How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:
Only one, but it might take all day.



Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done. Very true


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometime 15%



Question:
Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question:
Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.



Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS! So true


Question:
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.



Question:
What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.


Question:
What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:
The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.



Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer:
Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest. 



************************




EVA

14 comments:

Jenny said...

OMG!! Love the GPS....good ones, Eva

Alessandra said...

I think the GPS one is my favorite too, though the tied shoes and counting pennies are pretty close. Love to read your Saturday posts, always out a smile on my face. :)

Brian Miller said...

haha for once the tourtoise beats the hare....smiles....and lol on the girlfriend...you know that has to have happened...

Magical Mystical MiMi said...

So, so true.. I love it!

Sue said...

Love the first AND the last best.

=)

Eddie Bluelights said...

Hi Eva - just loved you Silly Saturday jokes - ALL OF THEM!! LOL.
I think after all the laughing you have provided the very least I can do is to tell you a joke:

Q. What happened when some viagra was dropped into the toilet pan?
A. The seat stayed up for four weeks

oh go on . . . . another:

Q. What happened when a truck load of viagra was reported as stolen?
A. The police started looking for 20 hardened criminals

another? Oh go on:

Q. Why do old men take viagra?
A. To stop them rolling out of bed.

LOL

Nice to be back - sort of and thanks for the visit.

Eddie x

Stephen Hayes said...

So much fun and humor here. Love the PMS and GPS poster, and the rabbit and tortoise cartoon made me cackle.

She Writes Here Now said...

The first is my fave!

Mary | Deep South Dish said...

LOL good ones, as always!

Jennifer Richardson said...

And have you heard? The FDA has approved a new generic form if Viagra. It's called Mycoxaphlopen.

Couldn't resist :)

Jen

Jennifer Richardson said...

And have you heard? The FDA has approved a new generic form if Viagra. It's called Mycoxaphlopen.

Couldn't resist :)

Jen

glnroz said...

all true,,a.ll true,,,zzzzzzz

Pat said...

I love, love, LOVE the turtle one!

Jamie said...

LOL, I needed the laugh =)