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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday Silliness

The Difference Between Potentially and Realistically


A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a future congressman."

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The Secret to a Happy Marriage



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An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth.

He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said. "How are you? You know, you are 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon. The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"

"Hello, knees.", he continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today.. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."

Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie! You little bugger. Just think. If you were alive today, you'd be 92..


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A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"


EVA

8 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

Those air fresheners can be so confusing sometimes.

Charlotte said...

I bet the toilet is very clean.
That's exactly why I have a stinky car. They are just too hazardous.
Have a great weekend.

Alessandra said...

What a hoot. The first one is my favorite, but the old man is a close second. Thanks for the laughs., :)

River said...

Thanks Eva, I really needed a smile today. Had to laugh at the old man. i must remember to say happy birthday to my feet more often too, they've carried me a long way.

Brian Miller said...

haha...that first one is a riot...lol.....

Pat said...

I'll have to remember that toothbrush trick! ha ha ha!

doseofreality said...

The first one in particular made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!! Thanks for this giggle fest! :) Stopping by from SITS.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

Those are all awesome!!!! I even know a chick who looks like the blonde and always has that same expression on her face.