Friday, August 3, 2012

Fifty Shades of ?

(I apologize for my absence the last few days.  Between watching the Olympics and traveling up north a bit for some family time, I've been neglecting my blog and my readers.) 

As I mentioned, we traveled up north in Maine to visit with some of Mr. Eva's family.  We had made reservations at a hotel for a couple of nights, as we like our privacy.  (Being old, we've been known to get up to use the bathroom more than once during the night; also, Mr. Eva is 6 '2" and we are both on the heavy side and require a king-sized bed for comfortable sleeping.)  When making the reservation, I requested a handicapped king room.  Mr. Eva has arthritis in his knees and has difficulty walking long distances or climbing up and down stairs. 

This hotel (not a national chain), had only three rooms with king beds; the handicapped room had only a double bed.  One king room was already booked, one was on the 3rd floor at the opposite end of the corridor from the elevator, and the third was "the honeymoon suite" and would cost an additional $10 per night.   I decided that for twenty bucks, we could pretend to be honeymooning.  (After all, we've only been married 28 years this that's not too much of a stretch!)

We checked into our room, and I saw visions of Fifty Shades of Grey Red and Black.  (Not that I've read the book, but I've heard rumors!) 

The posts on this four-poster bed were about 10 inches in diameter--they looked like Grecian columns.  The headboard and foot board were inset with brown leather, and as you can see, the comforter and pillow shams were black and red satin.  The sheets were black, which I guess were meant to be sexy; I was afraid they were black to camouflage the bedbugs.  (As it turned out, there were no bedbugs, thank God!

I had the distinct feeling that the cross-bars at the top of the bed posts were meant to support some kinky piece of equipment like a sex-swing.  Wouldn't you know--I forgot to pack mine!

(Sorry, guys, the click to enlarge doesn't work!)

So all I could do was lay there on the bed and imagine the possibilities!
At least the bed was extremely comfortable!  It was so comfy I would have liked to bring it home with me, but we couldn't get the humungous thing into the car trunk!

I would have thought the "honeymoon suite" would at least have had a private balcony; but no, we had to share with the other three people staying at the hotel. 

 The view was typical northern Maine:  green and peaceful!

All in all, we had a very enjoyable couple of days.   I met members of Mr. Eva's family that I hadn't met before, and had a chance to renew relationships with the ones I'd met before.  There was much laughter, good food, and fun to be had.  We enjoyed ourselves so much, I didn't even miss having a sex swing for entertainment!

I couldn't resist taking a picture of this restaurant sign, though.

We decided to drive on by, uncertain whether the name referred to a problem the chef might have with the suspension of his genitals.



Alessandra said...

Now you got me curious about the 50 shades thing. Maine does look nice and peaceful, but all that cold and snow in the winter must make those 'swings' really in demand. :)

Stephen Hayes said...

I would have been tempted to eat Chinese food in that cozy bed. Maybe the Fortune cookie would have mentioned "whoopie" in my future.

Charlotte said...

That sign was great. I too have been watching the olympics and other summer type things instead of writing and reading blogs. Glad I found time to read yours.

Brian Miller said...

haha...that is some swing...i mean bed....glad it was comfortable....smiles on the chinese restaurant as well...

River said...

That's a beautiful bed! I'm imagining it with gossamer thin netting draped over the crossbars and different linens, something creamy and lacy. with more pillows.

Jenny Jen said...

The bed did look comfy....I agree with River....some sheer material draped to over and down to apear eally sexy.....maybe you have to ask for that ahead, when you reserve. Oh, well. maybe next time, Eva!

Muffy's Marks said...

No trapeze acts........what a slacker. hehe

Sue said...


That room is something else! Like out of a movie!!

Chinese restaurant sign made me chuckle too.


rosaria williams said...

Oh, what an imagination you have!

Haley Bartlett said...

LOL you gave me a good laugh and thanks for visiting my blog :)

Gardening with Juanita said...

I love the bed.
Maine looks beautiful. Would enjoy some cooler weather.

Gardening with Juanita said...

I love the bed. Maine looks beautiful,could use some coler weather

Gardening with Juanita said...

I love the bed. could use some coler weather.

Unknown Mami said...

I had no idea you too were so kinky! No wonder you need your privacy.

Anonymous said...

Why American men should boycott American women

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the following crimes:

1. False rape accusations (it has been proven that up to 80 percent of rape accusations are FALSE)

2. False domestic violence (DV) charges (same as above)

3. Financial destruction of men in divorce courts through alimony and support payments (women get up to 95 percent of their ex-husband's income and savings, as well as the house, car, etc)

4. Emotional destruction of men by ex-wives who have stolen their children from them and forbidden the fathers from having custody or contact with their own children

5. Divorced dads who commit suicide as a result

Not one single American woman has EVER condemned their fellow American women for committing these crimes against men. Silence means consent. Therefore, American women support and enjoy destroying men's lives and causing men to commit suicide. Apparently, American women think it is okay to be a criminal, just as long as you are a woman. Therefore, is it any surprise that a huge percent of American men no longer want anything to do with American women, other than using them for easy sex and then throwing them away?

A few more reasons to stay away from American women?

-25 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs for mental illnesses.
-25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
-85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
-70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
-The majority of child molestation, child abuse, and child murder in America is done by WOMEN.

Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband; so the fact is most American men no longer want to marry American women. Let these worthless American women grow old living alone with their 10 cats.