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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Saturday Silliness

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is .. . ... ..Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money....
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a driver's license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.


***************


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'
98,' she replied...
'Two years older than me.'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'


****************




One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas,
Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did.
A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house,
lowered the window and asked,
" Excuse me, do you speak English ?"
Lee responded, " Yes Ma'am, I do "
The lady then asked, " What do you charge to do yard work? "
Lee said, " Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her ".

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.
 
 
******************
 
 
School Daze  

Little Andy was at his first day of school.  His teacher, Mrs. Wyte advised the
class that each school day starts with the Pledge of Allegiance and instructs them
to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after her.

As Mrs. Whte started the recitation, she looked around the room.  Her eyes were drawn to
Andy who had his hand over the right cheek of his bottom.

"Andy, I can't continue until you put your hand over your heart," she demands.

Andy looks up and replies, "It is over my heart."

After severl more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs. Whyte
inquired, "Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?"

"Well, Miss," answered Andy, "because everytime my Grandma comes to visit, she
pats me there and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma never lies."
********************
EVA

9 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

Love the one about the ninety-six year old widow. Made me cackle!

River said...

The ninety-six year old widow is a bit pessimistic. I'd think she'd be happy to get home and enjoy having the whole bed to herself at last! That's a pleasure no matter what age you are.

Karen and Gerard said...

Thanks for the chuckles! That first was would be funny if it wasn't so true!

Brian Miller said...

ha is that a real story on trevino? that is pretty funny...

Jen said...

Good ones.....there always has to be an ANDY! ....LOL

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

I love the 1st one!! Considering I'm almost the big 5-0 and I consider it a success if I don't piddle in my pants when I laugh, sneeze, or exercise. Guess I'm either a late bloomer or ahead of the curve depending on how you look at it.

Terri Sonoda said...

Funny giggles as usual, Eva. Hope your weekend is going well. I'm so busy with this new job, I'm missing my favorite blogs (yours!) I gotta keep up! HUGSSS

Reeni Pisano said...

Heeheehee bless your little heart for making me laugh! Hope your weekend is grand!

Sue said...

Your place is always good for a laugh! Thanks, Eva.

=)